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(81 votes) Published: Aug 14, 2003 12:00 a.m. In 2 Favorites Lists Viewed 625 times
From the overturned fishbowl smell and the wet clothes, it was obvious the expectant mothers water had broken. Her husband put her in the car and raced to the hospital. A nurse put the wife on a gurney and rolled her into the maternity ward, with the husband following closely behind. When they arrived at the maternity ward, both were surprised to see the doctor with a gadget that resembled a Tesla coil, with some wires and a knob on it.
"What is that thing?" asked the husband, as the wife did the breathing exercises that one does during labor.
"Well, since the beginning of time, women have born all the pain of childbirth. I have invented a device that, if it works, would transfer some of the pain to the father. With your permission, Id like to test it today."
They agreed. The doctor put some suction cups on the wifes forehead, as the nurses took off her knickers and broght a stainless steel bowl, a sponge, and some water. The doctor set the dial on the machine to 10 percent, and ordered the wife to "Push, now!"
"Nyyaaauuuggh!" grunted the wife. The baby was still a couple of inches inside.
"Now," said the doctor, "Im going to change the setting on the machine, and I want you both to tell me if you feel any differently." He set the dial to 30 percent, and commanded, "Pu$h!" The wife pushed, and some sparks flew out of the machine. "That doesnt feel as painful as before," the wife answered.
"And you, sir?" he asked the husband.
"I didnt feel anything."
The doctor changed the setting to 60 percent. The results were the same: The wife pushed, and the sparks flew from the machine. She felt less pain, but the husband felt nothing. The babys shoulders were almost poking out by now.
The doctor set the machine at 100 percent, which would send all of the mothers pain to the father. "Just one more pu$h!" The final push was painless, according to the mother, and the baby shot out onto the sheets. The sparks shot out of the machine, charring the paint on the wall. "I dont think your machine works right, doctor, but its worth it to alleviate pain for the mother, I suppose."
The nurses cut the cord and sponged the dreck off the baby. It was a boy, by the way. The mother and young son went to sleep, and the husband went home.
Upon his arrival, the husband found the mailmans body, clenched in pain, lying dead on the steps to the porch.
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