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Creating REAL Zombies

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(32 votes)
Published: May 05, 2008 1:06 p.m.
Viewed 240 times




CREATING REAL ZOMBIES

Whether you want to believe it or not, the following procedures are completely real. Voodoo priests can create real zombies using either of the following methods. The procedures are the concepts behind the rituals and will give the same results, but without all that ritualistic nonsense.

I. POISONING

The poisoning method will require some ingredients. The first being the skin of a common toad. It contains various toxins that act as an extremely strong form of painkillers. I’m sure you’ve heard of people getting a high from licking toads.

Google psychoactive toad for information on toad.

The second, and more important, ingredient is the poison of a pufferfish. It also contains various toxins that recreate the effects of painkillers. The combination of the two poisons, force the victim’s temperature and blood pressure to drop to rates lower than a coma patient’s. He or she appears to be dead.

Google pufferfish poison for information on the toxins in pufferfish.

At this point, you will bury the victim alive. In their current state, the victim will be unable to resist, although he or she will still be completely conscious and aware of what is happening. Just before the victim is about to die (about six or seven days from the initial burying) you dig him or her up.

Normally, a person would be able to recover from the near death trauma brought on by being buried alive. The final steps will lock them into this state of mind, almost permanently breaking their links with reality. Feed them paste made from crushed leaves of the datura plant, an extremely powerful hallucinogen.

Google datura for information on the datura plant.

Eventually, a zombie will start to show signs of recovering their senses and overall grip with reality, at which point you can feed them more datura paste.

II. TRAUMATIZATION

This process it significantly more difficult to pull off for obvious reasons. It requires no chemicals or poisons.

The victim is simply buried alive to the point of near death (again, usually about six or seven days). On the brink of death, the victim should be unearthed and allowed to recover cognition slightly.

At this point, rebury them and continue the process repeatedly.

The victim will lose all grip with reality and have no idea who he or she is or even what it means to be alive. What happens, obviously, is the constant near death experiences and traumatization of fear of being buried alive begins to make the victim go mad, forcing them into a permanent state of post-traumatic shock.

III. CONCLUSION

The different methods produce different zombies, characteristically. A zombie created via the poisoning method will be much more lively, while a zombie created via the traumatization method will be significantly more sluggish.

Google zombies and Haiti for news stories about zombification.

Please, know that what has been stated above is completely true and possible. Be careful! I’m not suggesting you go out and bury people alive to try and create zombies. And while it will work, it’s ridiculously inhumane.
 

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EPICSEABEASTCTHULHU

May 05, 2008 1:31 pm -
m3*h, welcome to re


berto-6193

May 05, 2008 3:23 pm -
welcome, decient egg!~ not the best
3*


fhgshfdg

May 05, 2008 8:20 pm -
i taught you guys how to make real zombies and you give me a 3?! what’s a 5* egg?


filthysanchez09

May 05, 2008 9:37 pm -
Dropped for cruelty to people and whatnot.

Interesting, but against the rules.


Blopawert

May 07, 2008 4:47 pm -
for some reason on my computer, i can’t read what is written


fhgshfdg

May 07, 2008 7:52 pm -
i know. mine is on and off. just give it a couple minutes and it should fix itself.


Coolestshoes

Jul 31, 2008 7:13 pm -
This is only slightly fucked up.

 


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