The Ultimate Guide To Abs [Valo]
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(99 votes)
Published: Jan 03, 2009 6:50 p.m.
In 5 Favorites Lists
Viewed 4938 times |
+++++++Alright, here it is people.
This is a guide to getting abs. I will be discussing myths, methods and all the other good stuff.
I promised in my last egg I would make this egg, why didn’t I make it sooner? Simply because mostly I was lazy, and because I read a lot on the subject because I don’t want to be giving anyone any false information. Everything in this egg is up for discussion. You can eggmail me with any questions you have and leave comments below. Now on to the egg.
++++++Abdominals++++++
Quote Wikipedia.com: "The human abdomen (from the Latin word meaning "belly") is the part of the body between the pelvis and the thorax. Anatomically, the abdomen stretches from the thorax at the thoracic diaphragm to the pelvis at the pelvic brim. The pelvic brim stretches from the lumbosacral angle (the intervertebral disk between L5 and S1) to the pubic symphysis and is the edge of the pelvic inlet. The space above this inlet and under the thoracic diaphragm is termed the abdominal cavity. The boundary of the abdominal cavity is the abdominal wall in the front and the peritoneal surface at the rear."
Now, I realize most of you dum-dum’s didn’t understand a damn word, but that’s ok. You don’t need to know every single muscle group or all the facts, hence the term "dumb muscle".
If you want abs, you need to work your back. Why? Because if you work your abs all the time and not your back, you will have a weird posture and you will look hunched over. Most people’s abs are too tight, and not properly balanced with the back.
Male/Female
Both males and females have abs. The issue is seeing them. Females have a naturally higher body fat percentage in their bodies. This fat lays on top of the abdominals making it hard for the ladies to have that "ripped" look.
Race
There’s no significant diffrence. But if you are a caucasian person chances are your abs will be less visible because darker skin tone shows muscle better. So try and get out of the basement, kay?
Genetics
Genetics can be a bitch. Here’s the cold, hard truth: some people, no matter how hard they try will NEVER get abs.
Why? Because you, like your ancestors, may have a higher level of fat in teh belly area, and your abs will never show. Things like this are hard to explain because everyone is diffrent. Here’s a interesting fact. Did you know that some people will get a "4-pack" but will never be able to get a "6-pack"?
And some people (like myself) have the genetics for a "8-pack" where the bottom parts of the abdominals also show.
Genetics (and bad form when doing exercises) can
result in abs that are not straight, but look messed. In the most sever cases, it can look like they are stacked onto each other. But don’t worry if you have this, I have perfectly aligned abs and I would kill for them to be a little offset, the ladies love them.
Some people will work really hard, and get results little by little. And there are people who will laze around, do it whenever they want to and they will get results fast. This is something you can’t control, just like you can’t control how tall you’re going to be.
The Myths!
Boy are there a lot of these, it’s going to be really hard to put even a fraction of them here, so if you have any questions, post a comment or eggmail me.
Myth #1
If I order a ab-roller, or ab chair, I can get abs in minutes a day with no effort, yay!
Smart people made cheap ass products like this to make money off of you, sorry! There’s no contraption that will get you abs with no effort.
Getting abs takes hard work and dieting.
Myth #2
If I do 1,000 sit-ups a day, I’ll have abs in no time!
First of all, sit-ups work your obliques, not your abs. Second, no matter how many ab exercises you do, they will NOT burn ANY fat around your waist! This will be explained in depth later on.
Myth #3
I can get ripped abs if I eat anything I want, as long as I work my abs after!
Partly.
You can’t get burn belly fat by doing ab exercises . If you have a high metabolism, and no matter what you eat you don’t gain fat, go ahead and eat whatever you want. And if you hop on the treadmill and burn it all off, that works too but is a pain in the ass.
The Truth!
First let’s look at the stomach.
You have your muscle, your abs. Then you have fat sitting on top of it. Then you have skin. Simple, right?
This guy above has little fat around his stomach, so the only thing blocking the muscle from view is the skin.
Getting abs is about 25% working out and 75% eating right/burning fat.
And guess what, EVERYONE has abs (omg rly?). Yes! The battle is burning the fat so you can see them, and getting muscle tone so they stick out.
Some fat people might already have a toned stomach, they just can’t see it.
So TL:DR, to get abs, burn fat.
Ok. So burn fat, right? How do I do that? Get on the treadmill and run, fatass!
No seriously. The only way to burn fat around your waist is to do cardiovascular activity, like running or bike riding (this has to be vigorous, though).
If you’re going to be running, start out slow and as then run faster until you’re almost in a sprint.
Diet
Possible the most important thing. You don’t have to go on a diet, you just have to watch your diet, capische?
Eat foods that are low in fat and calories and high in protein. Don’t eat junk food, or fast food.
On to the exercises!
Here’s a little fact. If you do crunches, for example, everyday for 10 weeks and you diet and you do cardio, you might not get the results you want. Why? Because there has to be "muscle confusion" well what does this mean? Pretend your muscle is a retard, for example, if a retard does the same thing over and over again it will get less useful because the it gets used to doing it.
So what you gotta do is get a workout and mix it up. You did crunches and leg lifts one day, now do that and something else, you need variety.
The great thing about doing ab workouts is you need little to no equipment. If you have just a carpet, it will do fine. I have a carpet in my room where I do everything, but I also have a elastic band for resistance excersizes, and a $20 pull-up bar mounted to my doorframe.
If you choose to buy something extra, you can find a pull up bar at Wal-Mart, Target or a Sports Mart/Authority. You can find a resistance band for less than $10 at the same stores. If you don’t have a carpet, you can buy a workout mat for about $15. Truth is, you don’t need any of this stuff, this is just if you want to try out new things and for variety.
It’s up to you to decide how much of these to do. You should feel it in your abs. I won’t say how many reps and things like that because I don’t know what stage you’re at and everyone is diffrent. And make sure not to do it on a full stomach/bladder -- very unpleasant.
The Crunch
The most basic yet one of the most effective movements.
Lay flat on your back, feet bent and planted firmly on the floor. Take your fingers and touch them lightly to your ears. Make sure you do NOT pull on your head. This is very bad and if you do it you’re going to be in pain. Imagine some psycho took a nail gun with 12 inch nails and nailed your belly button to the ground. Why? Because you do not want to be moving your stomach area up. As you bend your back slightly keep your head straight and go up towards the ceiling. It is important to do this and every exercise slooowwllllyyyyy. If you are going up and down fast then you might hurt yourself and you’re only cheating, it won’t do you any good.
Plank Position
To do this get down on the ground and plant your elbows on the ground, keeping your back and legs straight as a ironing board. You do not want to have your ass up in the air. Maintain this position for as long as you can.
Leg Lift
Get down on the ground with your hands down at your sides, close to your body.
Now keep your legs straight and lift them up, about 6 inches off of the ground.
Twist Crunch
Get on your behind. Take your legs and bend them and keep them off the ground. Now take your hands and interlock your fingers. Then, when you still have your legs off of the ground, take your hands and twist your body so your hands touch the ground on one side of your body. Then twist and touch the ground on the opposite side. Do this fast.
Resistance Crunch.
Take your resistance band a secure it to something that won’t move, like your bed. Get into your crunch position but instead of having your hands touch your ears grab the resistance band and do crunches like this.
Leg Lift (on pull-up bar)
Grab on to your pull-up bar and keep your legs straight and in front of you. Then slowly bring them up, pause, and bring them down. Repeat.
Captain’s Chair
Get onto a chair with handrests (or a specially made Roman Chair at your local gym). Place your forearms onto the handrests and push your back into the chair.
Contract your abs to move your straightened legs up and down. Make sure to do it slowly.
For more exercises go to youtube, or google it.
Thanks for reading. Please vote fairly as I researched for a very long time and it took me a couple of days to write this to make sure I included everything. If you have anything to say, remember to comment. |
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 | Jan 03, 2009 7:13 pm -
Superb Egg. Flawless although a few idiosyncratic facts or suggestions are missing. One I would have included relates to training schedules. If your exercise routine is strenuous enough to tear the muscle fibers, refraining from further workouts for 48 hours and ingesting small high protein meals every two hours will improve strength in addition to an increase in muscle mass.
A big 5*
Colin. |
 | Jan 03, 2009 7:18 pm -
5BX All the way.
Nice.
Organized.
Purdy.
0101 stars for you. |
 | Jan 03, 2009 7:19 pm -
Thanks Colin. You certainly know your shit. I didn’t add anything about training schedules but you are definitely correct. |
 | Jan 03, 2009 7:37 pm -
Hey big champ 5* |
 | Jan 03, 2009 7:54 pm -
5*
tl;dr
j/k awesome egg |
| Jan 03, 2009 7:57 pm -
Thanks for the ratings guys :) |
 | Jan 03, 2009 7:57 pm -
This is a pretty good and accurate guide. I do crunches occasionally when I remember to haha but they do help. 5*
Hopefully this will motivate some of the kids on here so that there will be fewer obese kids these days! =D |
| Jan 03, 2009 7:58 pm -
Hah, true that^ |
 | Jan 03, 2009 7:58 pm -
5*’s |
| Jan 03, 2009 8:10 pm -
You should post this on a McDonalds chat site. |
 | Jan 03, 2009 9:37 pm -
Ah damn... I was looking for the braking system :[
hahah, 5* damn good job on the egg |
 | Jan 03, 2009 10:14 pm -
MY fucking genetics fucked me over..
I can feel my abs, and they are toned just fine.
Im a ghost though, and have a layer or fat that wont go away..
Genetics says that both of those things wont change. Evar.
5* though. |
 | Jan 03, 2009 10:41 pm -
tl;dr
5* |
| Jan 03, 2009 10:44 pm -
Thanks so much guys. And RestriCKted it could be worse, you could have inherited health problems like me. Still must be a bitch though :( |
 | Jan 03, 2009 11:12 pm -
Awesome egg! Very informative. 5* |
 | Jan 03, 2009 11:22 pm -
5* muscle confusion is great for the entire body. also gets quick results if you stay on schedule. swimming is one of the best cardio workouts you can do as well. |
| Jan 04, 2009 8:32 am -
Yeah it’s great I just didn’t want people to think if they go in a float around for a half hour they can call it cardio, you know? |
 | Jan 04, 2009 11:10 am -
Quote: If I order a ab-roller, or ab chair, I can get abs in minutes a day with no effort, yay!
5* for the rhyme...
...and the kickass egg.
Make one on pectorals and arms please. I have all the abs I need I am just horrible at upper-body strength. |
| Jan 04, 2009 12:06 pm -
Lol, I didn’t notice that...
And I should...I’ll think about it |
| Jan 04, 2009 2:07 pm -
Wow .7 stars
Lol thanks guys |
 | Jan 05, 2009 6:43 am -
useless for me, ive had an eight pack since i was like 9 lol |
 | Jan 05, 2009 1:03 pm - -
A big fat 5***** for you man,
BUT,
I have only done Crunches, and nothing more,
and I actually got a nice 6 pack of that,
( but still have some lower stomach fat around me ) |
| Jan 05, 2009 4:28 pm -
"Some guys are born lucky" xD |
| Jan 05, 2009 8:02 pm -
Quote: And RestriCKted it could be worse, you could have inherited health problems like me. Still must be a bitch though :(
True. Im still really skinny though so..Atleast im not a fatty. |
 | Jan 07, 2009 12:56 pm -
I’m too lazy to go running or watch what I eat...
This is a bodacious egg though. One of the shmexiest I’ve seen in a while.
5* |
 | Jan 10, 2009 7:44 am - 5*
made me feel good. lol |
 | Jan 10, 2009 3:22 pm -
5*s |
 | Feb 08, 2009 10:29 am -
Hey this is good info,makes me want to put down my cheese burger and beer(for a while) 5*!!! |
| Feb 11, 2009 1:15 pm -
I’m just gonna5* this and your profile again ;) |
| Feb 15, 2009 11:47 am -
Thanks! :) |
 | Sep 14, 2009 3:55 pm -
I’d hate to be the guy in the main picture.
poor bloke has no dick.
5 |
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