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( votes) Published: Jul 12, 2005 12:29 a.m.
I know there is another existing egg on this topic, and this egg is not a copy of it. This egg goes into trashing school electronics- its not just computers. In my opinion, that other egg sucked, it didn’t have enough detail, they were only ideas.
This is a really long egg. Apologies to people who don’t like to read. I think will be the longest I will ever type.
This egg applies to the following electronics:
Computer displays, keyboards, mouses, printers and scanners, speakers, ethernet, phones, computer hardware, server rooms, copy machines, HP Print Centre copy machines, switches, routers, phone lines, TVs, CRT-TVs, Projection display TVs, paper shredders, LCD-TVs, Plasma TVs, Projectors, electric pencil sharpeners and computer software.
The egg really has no order, the order will be in the way it comes to mind. But the first sections will cover computers (execpt the software), then TVs, then Priners and copy machines, then I will work my way down the list of stuff and the last section is the software, it includes how to install AIM and some games.
:: Computer Monitors ::
intro: there are two main types of monitors- the LCD and CRT. Eahc type has different weaknesses and ways to trash them. The CRT are the big and heavy monitos that has a glass screen. The LCD are the newer displays that are slim and light. They also are really expensive.
THese are best for schools with over 150 computers.
For CRTs:
- rub the screen with a magnet. the computer must be on. use a circular motion for best results.the bigger the screen and bigger the magnet the better. if you do it right, the display becomes unusable. the only way to restore it is to find the "deguass" button.
- color it with a perement marker. This sounds stupid and the ink is easyly removed with rubbing alcohol, but imagine if you had to clean hundreds of these monitors.. it would take forever!
- if you brought friends... mess up the display settings on the monitor. makes it harder to use and evne harder to restore back to it orginal conition.
- drop the monitor on the floor. Im in Tech staff and sometimes you accidently shove a monitor off a desk and onto the floor. the impact damages the monitor over a couple weeks of useage.
- kick the buttons on the mottom of the screen. this damages the buttons and makes it hard to make changes to the monitor. For example, the degauss button may not work.
For LCDs:
- poke it really hard. LCDs are really senitive to your touch, pressing on it makes little ripples. if you poke it hard enough- best one in the center- you can perenmently make little distorted area on the screen.
- color it with perenment markers. unlike CRTs, LCDs are made of plastic, and are really sensitive to he touch. its is impossible to clean the ink off without cauing damage to the screen.
- drop it on the floor. I’ve never dared to drop one (its like throwing away 350 bucks), but im sure it still would cause some damage.
- slash it with a knife. the term "LCD" stands for liquid crystal display, meaning that if you cut it deely enough, the ’liquid’ may come out.
- rub it with sand paper. this is almost like slashing it with a knife, but instead really scratches up the display.
:: the tower ::
intro: the tower is the case were the CPU and MOBO and stuff like that is stored. most computer cases are locked, so people can’t open then up and take stuff. find a way to take off the lock. You’ll need basic knowlege o the computer hardware.
- take the RAM. free upgrades if your computer is compatible to the RAM. check compatiblity before doing this. avoid the really cheap sticks.
- free hardware. take the DVD-ROM, CD-RW, DVD-R, CD-ROM, HDD, floppy drive, zip dive, take anything you want. if the computer is really crappy, then disconnet all the cables.
- graphics card anyone? if your school has a graphics lab, its bound to have good graphics cards. my school has cards that are worth 100 bucks each. take them are sell them for profit.
- free Hard Drive (HDD). take it home or sell it.
- switch card slots or cables.
- if you are really despreate, steal the CPU.
- replacing the CPU resets the computer.
when you are done taking stuff and switching cables and such, close the case and restore the outside back to normal.
:: cables ::
intro: its not just printer lines and speaker lines, switch all the cables around, overload outlets, and free stuff?
- free mouse or keyboard. it you want it, take it. hard to resell this stuff.
- switch the keys on the keyboard. makes it hard for the computer noobs.
- switch speaker I/O ports. makes it hard to find the correct port if you’re not sure which one it is.
- ethernet troubles. if there is lots of computers sharing a single router, switch he cables around, disconnect a few, and smash the ethernet heads.
- wireless? take the wireless card and hide them all someplace. then wrap the router in foil.
- bend the pins or break them off for the monitor and printer cables.
- overload the outlet. no one ever checks how many computers are on one line until something bad happens. try to plug in as many computers as possible onto one outlet. connect the power stips if you have to. you only need 14 old computers to one set of outlets for it to overload. newer computers uses more power than the old ones.
:: external computer stuff ::
intro: this section is for everything else that is computer related.
- break the CD tray. most CD/DVD drives has this little ruber band under the tray. take it out and now the tray cannot go back into the drive.
- warping CDs. for some of the faster drives, rated 66x or faster, go home and get a bunch of the crappiest CDs you have. microwave them and bring them to school. supposedly if a CD spins fast enough it would warp then shatter with a explosive bang in the drive. microwaving them helps them shatter.
- remove all the paper in all the printers. then hide all the other extra packages of printer paper in some classroom far away from th computers. now no one can print.
- cram as many paperclips you can into the floppy drive. tissues also work.
- Break off the plastic tiers for the USB ports.
:: Server room ::
Intro: my school, IHS, has about 670 computers. and 15.9 Tb (~16,800 Gb) of network drive space. this means a lot of wiring. the server room usually also routes all the phone lines. all you have to do is find the server room and bring scissors.
- randomly switch the phone lines.
- randomly cut some of the phone lines.
- switch the cables to the network drives.
- take the network drives.
- take anything of value.
- cut random ethernet lines.
- switch the switches and routers. don’t know if this does anything.
- smash stuff?
:: TVs, LCDs, Plasma TVs ::
Intro: TVs and differnet forms of the TV are listed in this section. The glass screen TVs are CRTs.
--> TVs/CRTs
- rub it with a magnet. TVs do not have degauss buttons. and if they do, I haven’t found them yet.
- color it with markers.
- drop it on the floor. its not recomended, since larger ones will break, but it works for the smaller TVs, like a 13 inch or 21 inch
- wall mounted ones: tape up the vents. if it is left on overnight, it will overheat and the plastic will melt. or it’ll smell really bad.
-->LCD-Tvs
- poke it really hard.
- draw on it with pernement ink.
- stab it with a scissor (make sure its off first)
- tape up the vents. LCDs get hotter than CRTs in short periods of time.
--> Plasma and other TV units.
- rub it with a magnet
- shake it
- steal the plasma TV
- tear up the Input/output ports in the back.
- plastic screen projection- cut it with a knife.
- plastic screen projection: spray plastic-eating liquids on the screen.
- plastic screen projection: mark on it with dry erase markers, perenment markers.
Note: I have only seen plasma displays at circuit city, so some of the suggestions may not work.
:: Copiers ::
intro: there are two main types of copiers- the normal photocopiers at your local libary and the really big ones that your schoolmight be able to afford. My school has both, small ones from Xerox and the larger ones from HP, called the PrintCentre. As part of Tech Staff, I get called to troubleshoot these things now and then. and they have plenty of problems every week.
- use up all the toner
- steal all the paper and extra packages of paper
- unplug it
- disconnect it fron the print server
- uninstall it from the school network
- smash the ethernet drop- a real pain in the ass, since the larger copiers will have to be moved and a new special electrical plug must be set up so it can be used again. and they weigh alot. takes weeks to complete.
- mess up the settings
:: paper shredders ::
intro: most schools do not have papers sensitive enough to the point they have to be shredded. but if your school does...
- older shredders: make it overheat
- jam it with too much paper
- make it shred stuff i not supposed to shred.
:: Electric Pencil sharpeners ::
Intro: they are faster and better than the hand cranked ones, but they are really easy to destroy.
- heat it up then make it sharpen a crayon.
- pour hot wax into the sharpener
- dunk it in water (it still works, but its louder now)
:: OVerload and short-circuit ::
Intro: an overloaded outlet will short out. a shorted outlet will not funtion again untill the electrican has replaced the unit.
- plug as many computers you can into one set of outlets. plug the power stips into each other for the best effect. then turn them all on at the same time.
- short out all the libary computer outlets
- pin a paperclip to the wall with the plug. with its pulled out of the socket, the apaerclip will fall and short out the socket.
- plug every single thing in the class room into a sinle oulet (the top or the bottom one)
:: Computer software: Windows ::
Here is a couple things you could do to school computers.
- Fill up the HDD.
- reduce the PF size
- make the screen resolution so big that it is impossible to read the text on screen.
- reassign the mouse button (reverse mouse, super speed and senitivty)
- turn up the speakers so loud that the user gets a deafening blast of sound when he/she logins on.
- lock the computer
- setup a MS-DOS password
- if logged in as someone else, get their account blocked or cancled
:: Computer software: Microsoft word ::
If you have lots of time, perhapes you could try this. Microsoft world allows you to assign keys to different commands and other keys.
All you have to do s to reassign everything, making it impossible to use MS word on that computer. It was tried as a Apirl Fool’s prank once. It took over a week to reset the keys back to normal.
:: Computer software: games and programs ::
Most schools has a web-blocker of some sort that disallows students and techers from accessing non-school material. they block out game downloads and AIM downloads. I have found a way around those lock-outs, however, the solutions may not alaways work.
Despite the tight computer policy set by the district and their constant computer checking (meaning they can see what you see), I have found ways to install games. Its really simple, but it only works with some games. For example, I installed Steam all over the campus on any computer I wanted, and yet I couldn’t install anyother games.
The first thing about game and AIM installation is that you don’t actually install the program. you copy the needed files and you copy it onto a thumb drive or a CD. To avoid long loading and copying times, copy the minium files needed to make the program run. For example, I copyied steam with the minium files. other wise I would need 8 CDs for everything (thats not counting HL2 and source games).
I do not use AIM, so you’ll have to figue it out youreslf if you wannt o make a copy of it for school. How ever I do play CS 1.6 on the school cmputers every monday at lnch, so I can tell you exactly what you need.
How the process works is you get a CD or a thumb drive, I recommend 512 mb or larger, you copy the minimum required set of files, load it onto your drive or disc, go to school, access the C:\ drive, load it on to the C:\ drive to use. do not copy it onto a network drive. that is the stupidest thing to do since those files will be found almost instantly.
I know most schools do not allow students to access the C:\ drive directly or indirectly. However there is a number of ways you can get around that.
If your school uses Novell, login as you would normally, log out, then log back in using workstation. Workstation allows you to access the C:\ drive, and play games without detection and use the internet. But you are not actually logged into the network, so you can access any of the network ulities execpt the printer and scanner.
If your school does not use novell, but does have a print server folder in the system tray, open the folder and you will appear in the control panel. from there you could run command.exe or CMD (windows XP) and run explorer with it opening in the C:\ drive.
Now to the copying files part.
I use windows XP so for my computer, my steam directory is this:
C:\Documents and Settings\my name\desktop\populous\half-life\steam
find about 50 mb on you thumb drive. you copy everything execpt for the SteamApps folder. then make a SteamApps folder on your thumb drive. copy this file from your HDD to you thumb drive: platform.gcf
do not copy anything else. the other files will be loaded when you play steam on the school computer.
Sometimes there will be a .dll file missing. find the name of the missing file, find it on your HDD, make a copy, then copy it on the correct place on the school computer.
Steam is a really big game. My computer has a small HDD. since the school computers have larger drives, I can installall the steam games, copy all my movies and TV episodes there, so I can access them anytime at the school expense since it takes a huge chunk of the HDD space. like 35 Gb.
Jul 12, 2005 9:14 am - HAHAHA...Nice..The school is really fucked if you steal the cpus...(they are easy to carry in your pocket....) The only problem being that all the computers in my skool are shitty macs.
Oct 07, 2005 5:05 am - meh... tooo long, but a 3 for all you’re
effort, im sure if I had a long enuf
attention span, I would read it.. buut,
good work anyways
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