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(80 votes) Published: Nov 23, 2005 8:52 p.m. In 3 Favorites Lists Viewed 396 times
A Week at the Ritz Carlton
This is a story that me and my friends will never forget.
My friend Vince has 3 brothers that live here in FL. Their dad lives in LA and he is really rich. He Visited them and stayed at The Ritz Carlton to visit them. Vince brought me along to go with them as this is a really expensive hotel and would probably be the one time i will be able to go to such a place. We would be going for one week in July. This cost the man $4,900 for each room. For all of the rooms it set him back 30k.
Day 1:
Day one was a blast. We met his father and walked around trying to find something to do. We explored The whole hotel and the neighboring Marriot. We found a arcade and a pool with large rock walls(good for diving on unsuspecting swimmers). And best of all we have 3 rooms to do stuff in plus a fridge full of booze and a whole bunch of other crap to eat.
We went out to dinner with his dad and step mom at this fancy restaurant and I made a realistic looking pigeon out of a crumbled up cork and a napkin. It was badass.
After dinner, we checked out the bar and chilled in the lounge. When that got boring we went upstairs to the other brother’s room. They decided to get beer for themselves and wine coolers for his brother’s girlfriend. they came back from the store and got tipsy as hell. His girlfriend drank literally two sips of a Sutters Home and took off he clothes and ran down the hallway. It was so funny. Then we got in a huge fight since everyone was drunk and his oldest brother (27) jumped across the room and landed between an lazy-boy and a bed nearly breaking his back. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard not being drunk myself. Now it was time to get rid of the beer bottles and crap. We all ran down the halls until we found an ashtray by the elevators. We smashed the bottles in tight some falling out and ran back. Everyone passed out and we went to bed.
Day 2:
Day two wasn’t as great but, was still kickass. We went upstairs to their room again and ordered breakfast. Then we went to go help his Dad set up the seminar rooms for the Seminar on heart surgery. It was pretty cool cuz we got lots of free stuff. Then we went to the pool to check it out. We walked around and pranked with people by throwing stuff at them from behind the bushes. Then we got on top of the 10 foot rocks and jumped off next to old people on floats just close enough to splash the shit out of them. they got so pissed. then we went into the hot tub and met these girls that were our same age. One was hot and the other one was ass-ugly. We talked with them for a while and then left.
We later went to the room where my friend’s brother threw my keys off the 4th story. I went down to trek through the wilderness of palm trees to find it. We couldn’t so i jumped off the rocks and busted my ass. Then we saw the girls again. We said hi and then left to go out to dinner again. We went to a fancy smanshy steak house and I ate 2 miniature crabs that were basically un-cooked. It sucked.
Day 3:
In the morning we had breakfast at the downstairs starbucks by faking our room number (Egg coming soon) we got tons of stuff for free. Then we went to the fitness center and went into the sauna. It was like 140 and we couldn’t breathe so we left. Then we went to the massage area and made sexual noises behind the curtains to piss off the relaxed customers.
Then we got in our bathing suits and went out to the outside bar to get a drink. Then we went over to the neighboring hotel where there were giant waterslides and obstacle courses. (The blow-up kind). We lubed those babies up with soap and jumped off the top of the side, it was so funny. Then the girls found us again and chilled with us. Then some douche bag 13 year olds came up and we totally ignored them and they left. They got served. Then everyone went into the blow-up obstacle course and i deflated it and broke the motor. This caused everyone to be trapped inside. Then it wouldn’t turn back on so we ditched it.
Then we took the 100 dollars that he gave to each kid and we rented a 4 person pedal car. The girls later met us and we drove down this big ass hill behind the parking lot. It was all muddy and everyone was covered in it. After a while of pedaling in the hot Florida sun, we found a soft-shell turtle in the middle of the road. We put him in the baby seat and we drove him around. he later fell out of the seat after falling of the curb. We never saw the little guy again. We got bored with the car so we brought it back.
At night we went to Old Town and they went on this giant 400 foot swing. In was amazing, but since it was so late, they shut down the rides...Hella Ghey.
Day 4:
We got up late and missed his Dad’s speech thingy and we went to Denny’s to get some breakfast. It was 80$ for all of us to eat but, Vince being the rich man he is shelled out his 100$ for the meal.
Then we headed off to Skull Kingdom. It is a really big haunted house on the famous "International Drive". It was pretty creepy. One of the actors actually swung on me, I really think he wanted to hit me too. It took like 20 minutes to get through the whole thing so we left and went to Universal Studios: City Walk. They had a movie theatre there so we saw War of the Worlds. Then we went back to the hotel for dinner.
We ate at the restaurant again and went up to our room. We watched movies in our room till about 2AM when we got a call from his brother to come and do something because he was bored. We went exploring the hotel. We went through our hotel trying to find the cleaning maid’s rooms to find the stash of booze. (They had large amounts of crown Royal and other highly valuable alcohols we went in every closet and found nothing but a bunch of deactivated room keys. By the time we got to the other hotel it was approaching 3AM. We found the buffet kitchen and all of the janitors and staff workers were cleaning. We went through and took a bunch of mini cereals and fruit. Then we went to a little fly fishing salmon exhibit thing where there was large unguarded bottles of wine. He took one and I covered him as we secretly slipped out of the hotel.
We went back to the room and He opened up the bottle. I don’t know why he took it, it wouldn’t have got us drunk. But with all of the pressure, I took a few sips to taste it. It tasted like shit so we tossed it out the window.
Day 5:
Day 5 we got up and did basically nothing. We chilled at the pool and then walked around and stuff. At night, there was some kind of party in the seminar rooms. It was sponsored by his dad for the fourth of July. We ate our fill and got free ice-cream and shit. There was air hockey tables. And me being the master or Air Hockey, I schooled everyone there. Then I was playing some little fat kid and me, having the least bit of a soul, kind of went easy on him. Then when I wasn’t looking, scored a bunch of shots on me. I went around searching for that little bastard the whole time but, never found him.
After kicking people’s asses got boring, we went to go make cookies with these food coloring pens with all of these little kids. Us being assholes drew penises on all the cookies and wrote vulgar language all over them. We then got sick of the shitty music so we left. We went back to our rooms and watched TV.
Day 6:
Of all of the fun we’ve had over the past few days, the sixth, frankly, must have sucked balls.
We woke up at 10:30 and went to pull off our starbucks scheme. We got our food and then went in the party room from the night before. We saw some cool stuff in there and decided to come back once we pack all of our stuff up.
We went upstairs and packed our stuff up. Then on the way down after getting the others, me and his brother tried to find a little deliverer cart to get some goods before we left. We didn’t want to leave empty-handed did we? No! We saw an open, vacant room and we seized the opportunity. I slipped in and went through the mini-fridge. I grabbed two Crown Royals and two Knobb whiskeys. We left before the people came. As we went down the elevators, we split the prize. We then met up with the others and we went in the lobby. We bid farewell to his dad and said thanks. We were checked out as of then. But we still had to go check out the rooms. We went into the party room but, it was all packed up. As we were trying to find the exit, we stumbled upon an underground facility. It had loads of rooms and fridges. We entered one room that had every thing you could imagine. All or the party supplies and candy, alcohol, chips and soda. Everything you could imagine,. Every one started stffing their bags so we did also. I took beers and then went to the back of the dead end to the giant candy boxes. I tried to get some in when i heard "STOP RIGHT THERE!" I saw Vince and his brother run but me and his other brother had no where to go. Some crazy Mexican employee closed in on us. That’s when i noticed the camera behind us. That’s when I knew that we fucked up bad. We were on 8 cameras in the room. We were so cought up in the moment that we forgot to check for cameras. It was a stupid mistake.
The head of security and president of the hotel came down and took a report and talked to us for a while. They knew that Vince and His brother were gone. The president said he wanted to call Orlando PD to come pick us up and take us downtown. I told them that i could call the other two that ran back to the spot. I did and told them to bring the shit they stole also. They spread it all out on a table and took photos of it all. Then they took photos of us and our IDs I put my glasses on to make it as less recognizable as possible. The head of security was a big black guy that probably weighed 270 and was about 6’5. i knew we couldn’t run so I just begged him for him to let us off. After they added the whole steal up, it came out to $255. It was just short of the $300 felony theft mark.
The security guards had sympathy for us. He let us go with a trespassing warrant. I was so glad to be free. To think that four kids stole 255$ worth of beer and candy from a little stocking room was crazy. To this day, I can’t even believe that we did it. I completely learned my lesson that you shouldn’t attempt to steal things from a 5 star hotel, with 8 cameras and 4 security guards and employee’s down the hall. It’s just not smart.
All in all The 27 year old brother came and picked us up and saved us from getting caught by all of our parents. To this day, none of our parents found out.
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