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(147 votes) Published: Feb 21, 2006 12:31 a.m. In 2 Favorites Lists Viewed 611 times
Brian Griffin
name: Brain Griffin
Age: 7
Born in Texass
Jobs: Police dog, guide dog, writer, director, waiter.
Favorite drink: Martini (thats the only drink ive seen him drink)
Favorite music: Classical
Favorite commercial: Feminine hygiene product or sumthin
Favorite foods: Cinnamon buns, snosages
Voiced by Seth McFarlane
When Brian was taken from his mother as a puppy, he harbored a deep resentment that she did nothing to protect him, and soon his life went downhill, landing him on the street corner begging for food. When Peter Griffin drove by one day, he offered the dog a home-cooked meal, and quickly the two became best friends. (watch the eposide rode to rhode island it all happens in there
haha brain griffin from the family guy you might remember these quotes form him from the show sum r funny sum arnt there are just the ones i can remember
(Brian and Stewie are on a German tour bus.)
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany’s contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided.
Brian : Yeah, about your pamphlet... uh, I’m not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There’s just a big gap.
Tour guide: Everyone vas on vacation. On your left is Munich’s first city hall, erected in 15...
Brian : Wait, what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and...
Tour Guide: We were invited. Punch vas served. Check vit Poland.
Brian : You can’t just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism’s stranglehold on Germany.
Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Brian : A Dairy Queen? That’s preposterous.
Tour guide: I vill hear no more insinuations about the German people. Nothing bad happened. Sie werden sich hinsetzen. Sie werden ruhig sein. Sie werden nicht beleidigen Deutschland. You will sit down. You will shut up. You will not insult Germany. (Throws his hand up in a Hitler salute.)
Brian : Uh, is that a beer hall?
Tour guide: (Snapping out of it) Oh yes, Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls.
Peter: It’s already done. I dropped them all off at Toys for Toddlers last night.
Brian: All? Peter, only only one gift was for charity, the rest were for the family.
Peter: No, the rest were from the family. Weren’t they? (Pauses.) Oh crap...since when did they change the meaning of "for" to "from"?
Brian: They had a meeting about it last night.
Petre: Why wasn’t I told?
Brian: They sent you a card, but it said "for Peter" on it so you must of thought it was from you, so you didn’t...you know, its just easier to call you stupid.
Peter: I’ll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn’t nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah.
Brian: You’re drunk.
Stewie: You’re sexy.
Peter- Hey Brian! I turned the stairs into a waterslide!
Brian (after Peter falls down and starts screaming): I’m not going to call an ambulance this time because if I do you won’t learn anything.
Judge: I’m sentencing you to 24 months in prison.
Lois: Oh no!
Brian: Oh no!
Chris: Oh no!
Meg: Oh no!
Kool Aid Guy: OOOOOOOH YA!
^^^^ bahahaahaha i love that one
Peter: So did your therapist figure out what the problem was?
Brian: Yeah. He thinks I’m in love.
Peter: Oh my God...you can talk!
Brian: Hey, do you hear that?
Peter: What?
Brian: Sounds like someone’s screaming.
Peter: What? What is it boy? What are you trying to say?
Brian: It sounds like Loretta is screaming.
Peter: Trouble at the old mill?
Brian: What are you insane?
Peter: Somebody fall through the ice?
Brian: It’s summer.
Peter: Bobcat?
Brian: RURURURURURU!!!
Peter: Loretta’s in trouble?! Come on boy!
peter: look brian i got a message in my alabets
brian: peter they are cherrios
bahaahahah
Brian: Peter, are you sure? You’ve never had much luck telling jokes.
(Flash back to Peter in a net surrounded by apes with guns.)
Peter: Okay, Okay. How many dirty stinkin’ apes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three: One dirty stinkin’ ape to screw in the light bulb, and two dirty stinkin’ apes to throw faeces at each other. Hehehehehehe.
(Apes cock shotguns.)
Peter: You gotta help me Brian. Teach me how to be a gentleman.
Brian: Well, Peter, it’s not really that hard. Let’s start with polite conversation. For example, ’It’s a pleasure to see you again. Lovely weather we’re having.’ Now you try.
Peter: ’It’s a pleasure to see you again. After Hogan’s Heroes, Bob Crane got his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex.’ How’s that?
Brian: Wow. Perfect. My work is done. But just for the heck of it, let’s try it again.
Stewie: Augh! What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Brian: I’m cleaning myself.
Stewie: You were clean fifteen minutes ago, now you’re just on vacation.
Brian: You want some ice cream?
Stewie: No.
Brian: You want some McDonalds?
Stewie: No.
Brian: You want to take a dump in Mother Maggie’s shoes?
Stewie: Yeah.
Brian: Okay, let’s go and take a dump in Mother Maggie’s shoes.
Lady (next to Brain at a bar): I think you’ve had about enough.
Brian: Well, I... I think you’re wrong, you... you increasingly attractive looking woman. You know, you’re... you’re really pretty
Lady: Oh, stop!
Brian: No. I’m... I’m serious... You could... you could be in magazines. You could! And not just Juggs or Creamsicle...
(Lady walks away.)
Brian: Call me!
Brian (looks at bartender): She won’t call.
Feb 21, 2006 2:48 am - I personally love family guy and these quotes r classics...do sum of peters, they r so funny
ill start u off lol
peter and loius r at a funeral
and the dead ladies lawyer tells peter that she has left him sumthing
he grabs her and strts dancing with her limp body
"ohh thank u, old broad" drops her to the floor "...shes dead"
Feb 21, 2006 7:48 am - Made me laugh in class.. 5*
Feb 21, 2006 8:24 am - Funny quotes and I like the pictures. Not really an egg but I laughed my ass off at a couple of those; the first one was the best.
Apr 06, 2006 1:52 am - Not a big fan of Family Guy but ok i gave you 5***** anyhow cause i like Brian I like Futurama better though. I am Bender please insert girder.
Jun 26, 2006 12:59 am - on your Stewey and Brian go to Germany quote, the tour guide is like screaming some of the parts so you should haver had exclamation marks. But otherwise good egg. 5*
Jun 26, 2006 1:22 am - I want to share an idea for a family guy sketch. that I made up
Peter is watching an infomercial on TV.
Guy on TV: ok Tony, this is a realistic katana sword used by the shoguns of Japan. And for only five extra dollars, you heard me five dollars, we will give you one that has a dragon on the blade. Oh yes, a dragon on the blade.
(Brian walks in)
Peter: Brian, I need three payments of nineteen ninety five. I’m gonna get a real katana sword used by the shoguns of Japan with a dragon on the blade!
Brian: are you sure peter, you’ve never been good with dangerous weapons.
(screen changes to Corucsant (for you non-star wars nerds the planet of the Jadi tmeple) where a jedi is presenting a Light Sabre to Peter who is decked out in full jedi gear)
Jedi Master: Use this well young one, a jedi is only as ghood as his light sabre.
(peter, wide eyed and happy accepts the light saber)
Peter turns the sabre on, and looks at it. Slowly he moves the light sabre to his face, whil;e at the same time sticking out his tongue slowly, he licks the sabre.
Peter: Oh god it Burns! Master, Master! help me my tongue hurts!!!!
Master: Ok, calm down young one, I, I’ll get some ice or something! Just calm down. DOn’t panic. Stop Freaking Panicing! Chill! Just Chill. Now Ease Up! Stop freaking out! Calm Down! Just Calm Down!!!!!
(Peter is remaining calm staring at his master with disbelief at his panicing)
Peter: You know, its just a little burn I’m--
Master: Stop panicking! Just stay calm! Oh, god! I had dreams about this...Is it hot in Here! Oh Jesus, this is strike three for me!.
Peter: Its ok, I’ll talk to Yoda, its going to be all right. DOnt worry, you’re--
Master: Chill, Chill, Just Chill!!!!!
(The Jedi Master takes out his sabre and cuts off his head)
Peter: Huh.
( the scene switches back to the Living room.)
Peter: Maybe you’re right bryan. That juicer looks good though.
Jul 17, 2006 2:44 pm - this is fuckin gay if i wanted family guy quotes(where the other people say more than brian) id go watch the fuckin show and if u remembered all of these word for word you need a fuckin life. Family is old now. Leave teh house sometime loser. GET A LIFE!!!
Aug 05, 2006 8:08 pm - Here’s one of my favs:
Brian(drunk) :Wow...Those are huge. And You know whats nice? They dont have that blue veiny thing that some of the bigger ones get.
Woman at bar tosses drink in his face
Brian:What? I said they didnt have it.
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