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(119 votes) Published: May 02, 2006 10:53 a.m. In 2 Favorites Lists Viewed 853 times
Public Service Announcement. Bread Is Evil
We have unveiled information from our local bakery, stating that bread is EVIL! Read on and be shocked!
Research on bread indicates that:
1.Bread must be baked at tempratueres of 400 degrees Fahrenheit!! This heat would kill an adult, let alone a child instantly.
2.Bread is often used as a \"gateway\" item. This means it can be used to sneak other harmfull foods into your body, like butter or jam!
3.Bread has been known to be addictive. Subjects that were given only water to drink begged for bread after 2 days.
4.Over 98% of convicted fellons have used bread at leats once in there lives.
5.In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
6.Bread is made from a substance codenamed \"dough\". One pound of this \"dough\" can suffocate and choke a living and breathing mouse. The average american eats more than that in a month!
7.Bread has been proven to absorb water. The human body is 90% water and this water we can not afford to lose.
8.Newborn babies can choke on bread.
9.More than 90% of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
10.Fully HALF (50%) of all children who grow up in bread eating households score below average on standardized tests.
The following bread restrictions have been made to ensure none of these satistics become worse.
1.You must be over 18 to buy bread.
2.We are building bread free areas around schools.
3.And to advertise bread, you may not use any primary colours.
.Bread dealing will become illegal in the country and other supporting countrys.
May 02, 2006 5:08 pm - meh, i hate bread. tofu=yumy. so you get a 5*. and on my site i shall take eggs which are just posted and post them on thier word for word then say c/p bitch. everybody will then rate them donw.
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