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(115 votes) Published: Jul 23, 2006 6:41 p.m. In 1 Favorites Lists Viewed 488 times
I was going to do an exploration egg as my first egg, but I’m bored at work and don’t have the pictures here, so I figured I’d do something fun instead.
My ex and I ran a website called the Free a Fart Society, and here’s a little something from that site on the history of our little stinky friends, and how to free them from various surroundings.
Before you bash me for being stupid, remember one thing. I’m trying to be stupid, as in stupid haha. My fragile little mind warps easily when I’m bored!
HISTORY OF THE FART, PART 1
On the 6th day He rested. On the 7th day, God created flatulence, and He said it was good. Henceforth it was to be known as Odiferous. Yes, the first fart of God was Odiferous. Who later came to god-hood through the Greeks. Odiferous, God of Flatulnce.
Odiferous went on to create a legion in his likeness, who later posessed the population of the planet and multiplied. These farts came to worship Odiferous as their lord, and on his command created some of the most mysterious wonders known to Man.
FREE A FART
1)Couch Cushions - The best technique for couch cushions is jumping. Any manner of footwear will do, or to reduce risk of injuring the friendly little farts, no footwear at all!
2)Car Seats - The best method for car seats is a Louisville Slugger, although rednecks prefer rifle barrels.
3) Rugs - For those of you with children who may have farts in your rugs, beating a carpet with a flyswatter is the most efficient method. Many people consider vacuums the most efficient, but in reality this is the cruelest punishment for our ever-present friends, as they become trapped in this device for eternity.
4) Beds - Use kids! The trampoline effect frees farts instantly!
5) Elevators - Get off at the next possible floor. The disoriented fart will follow you out.
6) Shower Curtains - Ever wonder what that unidentified odor is in the bathroom? That’s a fart trapped between double shower curtains! Fan those curtains & send a fart on its merry way.
7) Comforters/Bedspreads - Rough sex on top of the covers is most recommended.
I have more if this goes over well, I had a whole huge website I plan to recreate. But there is my instructions on freeing farts.
Jul 23, 2006 7:00 pm - I wanna see where history of the fart is copied cuz Im the one that sat and wrote it and ran the original website, so link me to where else it is
Jul 23, 2006 7:26 pm - OK NM there’s the link. Yeah that’s my old website but I can’t get into it anymore so I need to recreate it. I told you I used to have a website that I ran so it wasn’t a c/p it was a transfer cuz its my original work. That site was never well advertised
Jul 23, 2006 8:32 pm - Damn I’m glad I’m not one of those people that get all upset if they get a low rating. It ain’t fucking c/p cuz I did the original work, I’m sitting here looking at the original notes from like 3 years ago.
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