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(237 votes) Published: Aug 17, 2006 5:26 a.m. In 1 Favorites Lists Viewed 1263 times
Hey peoples, its about time I told you the recent events that happened in my city... Well, just one. But a biiiig funny event. Not a sporting event or anything, but a true story, about the real Aussie Bum! (as in hobo/homeless person/drunk muzza fucka). Im from Australia, if you dont already know....!
Anyway, a normal criminal or even homeless person would basically steal anything that they could get their hands on basically, wouldn’t they? OF COURSE THEY WOULD!!!
But one trend-setter went the otherway, a very strange way.
Well, let me start from the begginning eh?
Well, everyone knows the town homeless person, Johnny Jago, the "local random" for being who he is. Random in a not good way, but not bad way either.
Lots of roumers float around him, the biggest one being that he is that he is really rich and only pretends to be poor and mish to gain sympathy. Doubt it... But hes been known to carry hundreds of dollars under his beany. Yes, thats right! He always wears the same clothes, with the same green beany.
Anyway, I doubt all this richness, proof?? YOU WANT PROOF?? Well, me and a few friends went round to the "place" (if you would even call it a "place"), allegadly supplied by centrelink, and theres dead cats all in the place if u look through the window, and mould all over the place.... No sign of richness if you ask me...
Anyway, oneday, and this is the whole punchline of the egg, which I still find hysterical!
Well, one day our town’s McDonald’s got broken into, you know, the one I work at...
Outside McDonalds
The Scene Of The "Crime" (Inside Maccaz)
Guess who it was eh? Ol’ Johnny!
But the security cameras proved nothing valuble was stolen, the money was all in its till, everything else was impeccable.
This is what Johnny did.
He broke in around 2:35am on a Monday, i think it was... Anyway, walking straight into the place, he casually jumped over the front counter, and fiddled with the cookers, and such... For about 5 minutes he was around the back, (viewed via the back camera), and was cooking.
He walked back into the front bit of McDonalds, jumped over the counter, and what did people expect? Money? Jewels? No, a BIG MAC MEAL. Complete with a coke and everything!!
He strolled to a seat in the McDonalds, apparently not aware that cops were on their way, sat down, and just started eating! Casually like any other customer. Except usually customers dont bring bottles of Vodka into the outlet, and customers don’t usually help’em selves....
Anyway, the cops arived and just saw him sittin’ there eating. They put him in the car, and was escorted to the cop shop, I was later informed. Anyway, they didnt press any charges, guess they felt sorry for the poor bloke...
But it was the most legendary thing thats happend in a long time! Its something thats never been done before, and something you can have a good laugh about.... I wonder, if Johnny deliberatly did it?? Hmmm.....
Anyway, apparently Centrelink are giving help, and such.....
Aug 17, 2006 6:17 am - im from victoria and theres a guy like that near my house and he jumps out of the same bush and yells boo everytime someone walks past. its fun to watch people that are new to town or visiting get scared. He’s actually a nice guy, i talk to him sometimes it usually goes.
"BOO!"
Me "Hi Peete, how are ya?"
Peete "Not to bad, ya self?"
Me "Yeah im good, centerlink still screwing ya over"
Peete "Yup the fucking pieces of shit"
Me "Sorry, Im in a hurry. I’ll talk to you later Peete"
Peete"Ke p on keeping on"
Me "Will do"
Aug 17, 2006 8:20 pm - There used to be a bum who lived on the main road in my town, and we called him the, "Double Decker Guy" because he had this shopping cart piled high with STUFF. It was taller than he was hahahaha.
You could drive down the road and see him randomly sleeping in different places. Apparently he had AIDs, and had walked all the way to Ocala, FL from Miami. Which is about a 6 hour drive, so imagine the walk. And also, he says he’s had sex with more women than anyone else in the world. He was a crazy man.
People loved him though, my friend was working at a restaurant last Thanksgiving, and he was sleeping in their parking lot, so they gave him a free meal.
He died, though. Or he moved on to another place. I haven’t seen him in a few months.
Aug 17, 2006 9:00 pm - we have a town drunk and he always talks random crap and u say hey roy and he sumtimes says hows it goin otha time he tells you to fuck off he is always riding his push bike around town with king browns in his hand any way one day we were driving past and he dropped one of his king browns fuck i neva seen ne1 more pissed off he threw his bike it almost went off the bridge and he was goin mentall aye
Aug 18, 2006 3:45 am - Well I’m from Canberra so that makes me cooler than any other Aussie on this site that isn’t from Canberra. We have a lot of hobos near where I live, sometimes these guys go "bum fishin’" and basically find an underpass with a hobo in it and stand on the road with a piece of pizza tied to string dangling down so he can see it. Its pretty mean and they usually get chased but one time they got caught, I didn’t actually see it but I heard all about it. Anyway 5*s
Aug 26, 2006 12:46 am - lol everytime i go to hunter street in newcastle theres this dude playin a tambourine with 2 lines of a song. i seen these dudes make him chase them and 1 of them got his hat full of money. pretty funny
Aug 30, 2006 12:25 pm - A local bum died...No-one noticed for two days, even though he was outside the firestation, but when they did, there was a shrine with flowers and stuff.
Nov 02, 2006 9:06 am - I used to work in Houston, and if you dont already know, Houston has quite a bit of bums. Any ways, one day I went down to the loading loading dock to dump some concrete and there was a bum on the otherside of the road. He was an old black man with a long beard and four trash bags. He wheeled out into the road and a cop went and pulled him out of the road after traffic went by. that shit was funny.
Dec 17, 2006 9:11 pm - well im from syd n thers a bum my bro wos tellin me about that went right in front of woolworths n chucked a nice big turd on the floor lol and everyone wos watchin... hahaahha 5*S
Mar 27, 2007 12:17 am - haha good story 5* theres a homeless chick and everyone calls her "jukebox judy" cos she sings all the time but i don’t think her name is really "judy" us aussies rule
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