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(224 votes) Published: Nov 18, 2006 8:45 a.m. In 22 Favorites Lists Viewed 1353 times
Right-o this being my first egg, here we go!
The Streets
So you just pissed off your parents, and end up getting kicked out of your oh so comfy house.
smooth move shithead, now you gotta fend for yourself!
This guide will teach you how to:
.Get Food and drink
.Find Shelter
.Stay Warm
.Make Some Money
Easy Free Food and Drinks
In this section, you’ll learn how to keep yourself fed and hydrated for free! You may already know some of these, but some may be new to you, take the word of a former (and soon to be) true street kid.
1.The Receipt Scam
As I’m sure most of you already know this, ill just go over the basics, and for those of you who DON’T know of this, read on.
The first thing you want to do is pick a restaurant, preferably a fast food joint such as McDonalds, or Burger King. Making sure its a relativley big or busy one is a deffinate help.
Now that you have your place you need to pick a good time to go ahead with your scam. Generally a busier time means less questioning from the employees. A great time is when either a dinner ’rush’ or lunch ’rush’ is happening. Just make sure there are plenty of other customers, and you’ll be fine.
Next we need a recipt. Looking in the parking lot, or on the tables of already eaten meals works fine. Try not to get a receipt for 3 meals, and 2 large drinks with 5 sides of fries, as it will seem rather odd for ONE PERSON to have orderd that. Usually i just find one that has one Big Mac and a large drink, and it works perfectly.
once you have your recipt, wait in line till it’s your turn. When they ask for your order, POLITLEY tell them there was a mistake on somthing you orderd, and show them the recipt. Say somthing along the lines of "when i orderd this, i asked for no pickles" or "The burger was missing a patty" and they will in most cases appologise for the inconvienience, and quickly order you a new one free of charge. somtimes they will call a manager over, depending on how busy it is (like I said, busy is better) and in most cases, jsut explain your case again, and they’ll gie you what you’re after! FOOD!
2. Convienience stores
Now that you are indeed homless, you are free of one thing for sure, a curfew! no more "be in bed by 10:30 johnny!" so how does this help you? SIMPLE! more free food!
Most convienience stores, such as Macs and 7/11 carry hot dogs, burgers, and other tasty little bite sized snacks. but at the end of the day, what happens to all that stuff they don’t get to sell? do they really keep it and sell it again like all those cartoons say? nope! that would be against the law. so then, what DO they do? they take all the stuff, sandwhichs, hot dogs and all, put them in a plastic bag, and dump em in a dumpster right outside for the picking!
I know half of you are thinking "thats bloody SICK! what the hell?!" but it really isnt, the bags are plastic, and don’t exactly tear open that easily. and beyond that, if you lie out there, i really don’t think you care all that much to begin with.
Every day, at 12 midnight, 7/11 will throw out all their bigbites, and sandwhiches (the one near me actually seperatly bags em! thanks guys!) all YOU have to do is simply walk up, open the lid, and grab that big bag of food!
3. Thirsty no more!
BY FAR the easiest way to get free drinks, is to take advantage of McDonalds free refills! many of you GUARANTEED know about the "can i get a free water" trick, but this is a little more indepth.
When you do that, they will usually just get you a cup of water, and then you empty it, and go back and get a refill of coke, or whatever else your stomach desires. but SOMTIMES they will mark the cup with a W (it’s what they’re actually SUPPOSED to do anyways) to deter your theiving little hands from pulling this off.Besides, they usually give you one of those tiny ass cups that hold no more then a cup of water anyways. how do you get around it? easy!
First you have to again walk in during a rush, as it’s the easiest time to do this. Now to GET a drink we’re gonna need a cup. how do you go about getting one? simple! look around on the tables! all those families eating, will eventually get up and go. most of them leave ALL their garbage right there on the table. (a great way to get a reciept might i add) along with their -cups-. "EWWWW gross cooties!" shut the hell up and grab that vessel of life, grab a new lid and star, and you’re set! jsut walk up, get a refill of whatever, and walk out! it’s that simple!
Right there are three perfect ways to fill your insatiable appetite for -ZERO- dollars! enjoy that free meal buddy, cause living in the streets DOES get harder!(and colder ;o)
A Warm Place to Stay
after that big meal, you’re probabley feeling sluggish and tired. so you start to wander home... NOPE! fool! you don’t have a home. now here’s a dilemma. you need a place to sleep, but don’t have a home, and probabley don’t have money for a hotel. what can you do?
1. Warm and Semi-Private
I’ve personally done this a few times before i got my bearings out there, and it works pretty well generally. When you’re out wandering the street at 1 am, most likley you’ll run across SOMTHING like an apartment building or whatnot. alot of these (especially in a city) have a nice underground parking lot. what does that mean for you? EASY! think of it as a heated dormatory!
it can be hard to find away in, by luck a car might pull out, and you can just run in, but that doesn’t always happen, sooo here’s my method thats works EVERY time.
just go to the entrance and walk in! how? easy, just ask for permission! those little elctronic boards that call other people is a godsend to you. just call some random number on it, and if they don’t answer (seeing as it’s late) just use another one untill somone DOES answer. when they do, use a polite oice and tell them "hey im kind of late, and no one in my apartment is answering, and i can’t find my key. I’d rather not be stuck out here for the night, could you let me in?" usually (unless they are a complete prick) they say sure, and buzz you right on in. from there it’s as simple as aking the stairs or eleater to the parking lot, finding a nice cozy little corner, and nodding off to sleep.
2. Cardboard City
If you’re stuck out in the streets during the summer, this is a perfect way to stay out of the wind, and even the rain for the most part! not only that, but flat cardboard makes a relativley good bed haha.
the easiest way to find some good cardboard is to look in the back of a large store, such as safeway or superstore (last time i was out there, i found 3 HUGE boxes that im pretty sure held multiple freezers)
With your new box, you can do many different things. Use it to light a fire to keep warm (not exactly smart in a city, as cops will lierally rain down on you) but they dont exactly burn all that long. you could lay it on the ground for use as cheap bedding. or my personal faourite, fold it into a box, and crawl on in. use it as your own little hobohut! (we’e established that you ARE indeed a genuine hobo at this point corect?)
3. The Almighty Bridge!
Many a night hae been spent under a few local bridges around my city. they block out all wind, water, most light depending on where you are, and provides pretty damn good privacy too!
there are a few different bridges, and each has it’s own positive and negative bits. Some bridges just have a steep concrete under part running straight down. some have a flat open area. some have a flat concrete part near the top, then a steep part going down(my personal favourite)
i usually grab some newspaper or cardboard to use as a bed, crawl into the little space that is flat, lay it out, and just drift off into sleep. ( mind you, it can get pretty damn cold, thats why i normally carry around a backpack with a nice little blanket in it along with some extra clothes)
one thing you want to avoid is a perfect bridge in a downtown area, or one with shit loads of graffitti or anything else that looks like people have been there, as many bridges (where im from anyway) have a crap load of drug addicts, other bums who won;t hesitate to steal your shit in the night, and other unpleasentries.
there you have it! a nice little section on how to stay warm, find a place to sleep, and keep out of that god forsaken wind rain and other damn weather.
Spare Some Change Sir?
Now there are a few good ways to make some easy money, you don’t even have to be homeless to do em! here i’ll teach you eerything from the lazy ways, to the good old plain stealing ways to get yourself a buck or two (you know for the niceties, a smoke, a micki of vodka now and then)
1. Got Any Change?
Personally i think this is THE laziest way to go about making money, and I’e never done it, from what I’e seen and people I’e talked to it isn;t exactly profitable, but I’ll teach you a few ways to make a couple of bucks using this method anyways.
You could just stand around and hold out a cup and ask for change, you generally get a few dollars over a period of time doing that depending where you are. downtown street corners that are generally busy are a good place to try this, but if you want some good money, make yourself look like you NEED THAT EXTRA QUARTER!
2.Ye’ Olde Sign
Again, a lazy way to make a buck, and not exactly profitable, unless you follow my guidlines! Be creative with your sign! don’t be a generic street kid, "spare some change for food?" isn’t exactly going to rake in the dough. Convince them you need there help.
But before we get to that, pick a location. An intersection is IDEAL for this, especially one with high pedestrian traffic. the more people who see your sign, the more potential money you can make! Personally I have an intersection with a rather long red light, and a huge amount of traffic that I frequent for more then one of these methods.
Next the sign. Don’t use paper, as it’s flimsy, and will fall apart pretty fast out there (It really is brutal on the street) I generally use a peice of cardboard and write with permanent marker. Now for the actual wording. make them WANT to give you money. my signs usually say "Please spare change for a jacket" or somthing along those lines. if a driver and his wife see some sad looking kid outside in the middle of november without a jacket and a sign asking for some change to buy one, they’ll usually feel sorry for you and chuck you a dollar or two. (one guy even threw me a BRAND SPANKING NEW DC hoody =P) I actually do have a jacket anyways, i just keep it hidden near by in some bushes with all my other junk.
3. ATTACK OF THE SQUINJAS!
my prefered method of easy money? I’m a Squinja. I squeegee and with a few friends, we are the Squinjas haha (we were drunk as hell when we came up with that, so shut up) It’s an honest, work filled opportunity to make soem GOOD money. personally in one night, me and one other friend made over $70 in about 5 hours. may not seem like much, but it bought us a shitload of smokes and booze.
The first thing you’re gonna need is your weapon of choice as a squeegee ninja. a squeegee. no shit eh? simple enough to get one. go jack one from a gas station. personally i jacked one, made some money with it, then went into a hardware store, and bought me a damn fine Original Mallory squeegee. I prefer Original Mallory, or Unbreakable brandwise. they are good, tough, and if they DO break, it’s easy as hell to fix.
next we need some magic juice! no no calm down it isnt going to get you drunk, laid and high all at once. its simply antifreeze and water. the perfect squeegeeing liquids! once you get some antifreeze (jack a bottle from a gas station) get a two litre bottle, and fill about 1/6th of it with antifreeze, and the rest with water. now put the cap on it, and using some pins, poke a few holes NEAR the top so you can get it out without pouring it and wasting it. now you have all the essentials for squeegeeing so lets get to it. you may want to bring alng some gloes too by the way, gets kind of messy after a while.
Again, find a nice long traffic light, and heavy traffic, and set up shop! I like to do this with a friend, sure you only get half the money, but it’s ALOT easier, and funner too! just wait untill the light turns red, decide whos going to what side of the car, run up and don;t even BOTHER to wait for the person to say yes or no, jsut get right into it and wipe down his car. who ever is on the driers side, when finished, then mouthes "spare change?" and hold out his hand. most of the time the drier will give you money, but somtimes not. even if they don’t BE SURE to be polite, and say somthing along the lines of "have a nice day" or "thank you anyways sir", it’s just plain polite. When the light turns green and everyone drives off (usually you can get 2 MAYBE 3 cars per light) go back to your stuff, drop off whatever money you got ($20 from one car is my record) and load up more magic juice! just squirt some onto the ends of your squeegees, and wait till the next light.
3. "We’re sorry, your call cannot go through"
We’ve all seen this on RE somewhere, and so have I. im just adding it in as it’s another good way to get a few bucks for your spending needs. all you need is a BBQ lighter, and some paper, and a payphone (or more then one, but try not to get greedy)
Just find a phone, preferably high traffic, wad up your paper, and when no ones looking shoe it AS FAR AS POSSIBLE into the coin return. use your lighter to shove it up so you cannot reach it at all. Then you just wait. no not five minutes, a few days should be good. then go back to your phone late at night, use the lighter to burn the paper out, and you should get a bunch of quaters and other random change from calls that didn’t go through. Try this out on a vending machine too best on ones that have weird prices, like $1.75 or 1.50.
and off to the bridge, for a good nights sleep
Well, there you have it my friends! thats the end of my very first egg. hope you all learned somthing. of course it IS best to jsut HAVE a home. but if you are unfortunate and lose it for whateer reason (my parents found my stash of AP and kicked me out rather fast) if you’ve read this, you should have learned somthing today! have a good one, maybe i’ll see you under a bridge somewhere
Nov 18, 2006 8:49 am - Oh sorry I thought you were spamming because there was no title, or content. Anyway. I can’t tell if this is stolen or not, so I will hold my vote till I see others.
No 18, 2006 8:50 am - 2* 2* for 3 reasons
1’ i am not reading all this
2’ this guide is how to live like a bum
3’ i am sure this looks like c/p but i have no proof
Nov 18, 2006 9:20 am - woot! i actually take it as a compliment that you think it may be stolen =P
but no no it isn’t started writing it around 3 hours ago, and finished when i posted. and yeah i noticed the no title either haha (though im pretty sure it’s just cause it was new)
and to the guy who rated low caus eit teache syou to lie like a bum, it SAYS if you get kicked out. soo nnyeah, thnaks all baha
Nov 18, 2006 9:37 am - oh really?? the royallty of bums? well idk if i wanna try that out but if i got kicked out of my i house i would first go to my relatives houses of a friends house before i would do this .. even tho this is a good guide,,
Nov 18, 2006 9:48 am - yeah this is generally meant as a last ditch type of thing.
for example, when i first got kicked out, i went to my dads. then to my friends. then he got kicked out, and we stayed at another friends for a bit. then HE got kicked out, we got drunk, formed the squinjas, aaaand lied in the street for about 2 months, THEN i moved back into myd ads, now im at my moms, and might end up on the streets again soon
Nov 18, 2006 9:52 am - so this stuff really works .... meaning you won’t be a bit hungry cold and all that stuff....\\anyway i don’t think i will ever get kicked out soon
Nov 18, 2006 9:57 am - i can;t guarantee you’ll get it all to work EVERYTIME
there hae been a few times where they didnt give me a meal, or i found only SMALL amount of food outside of sev, btu yeah they all work pretty damn well
Nov 18, 2006 10:06 am - i’ve almost got kicked out once... as a last resort my friend let me stay at his house... meh
5* original
and funny!
and awesome
and in favs :P
Nov 18, 2006 10:21 am - my first thought when reading this was
"how is he posting this online if he has no home?"
but then i read that comment
it seemed kind of ironic acctually
5****s
Nov 18, 2006 10:34 am - baha yeah half way through i realised the irony of me posting a guid to being homeless, but hey, its guide, so it could come in handy (think of it as having one of those emergency blankets in your car or whatever) it’s there for when you nee dit =P
and yeah i almsot didnt put that "first egg thing" but then again, most first eggs have no effort and suck, and arn;t original =P
N v 18, 2006 11:25 am - great egg 5* in faviortes i actually used alot of these things never heard about burning the paper in the payphones after reading numerous eggs about vending machines
Nov 18, 2006 4:35 pm - ---
5 for info
-5 For the fact that there are no more "punks" any more,they are all just a bunch of fucking emo posers and shit,and should stop pretending.
Nov 18, 2006 4:35 pm - ---
5 for info
-5 For the fact that there are no more "punks" any more,they are all just a bunch of fucking emo posers and shit,and should stop pretending.
Nov 18, 2006 4:35 pm - ---
5 for info
-5 For the fact that there are no more "punks" any more,they are all just a bunch of fucking emo posers and shit,and should stop pretending.
Nov 18, 2006 4:35 pm - ---
5 for info
-5 For the fact that there are no more "punks" any more,they are all just a bunch of fucking emo posers and shit,and should stop pretending.
Nov 18, 2006 4:35 pm - ---
5 for info
-5 For the fact that there are no more "punks" any more,they are all just a bunch of fucking emo posers and shit,and should stop pretending.
Nov 18, 2006 4:35 pm - ---
5 for info
-5 For the fact that there are no more "punks" any more,they are all just a bunch of fucking emo posers and shit,and should stop pretending.
Nov 18, 2006 4:35 pm - ---
5 for info
-5 For the fact that there are no more "punks" any more,they are all just a bunch of fucking emo posers and shit,and should stop pretending.
Nov 18, 2006 4:53 pm - 5*’s and faves! was well gd! and im actyually superised i would ever read something that long! but it kept me interested! lol well done!
and i agree punks are dead sadly =[ emos are taking over the world and it SUCKS. what is punk today? ask a ’punk’ and he’ll more then likley say greenday or good charlotte. thats when i punch him in the face, and he runs home (as fast as he CAN run in his little sisters pants anyways) and crys to his mom about it.
what ever happend to the transplants? the dead kennedys? siiiigh punk is dead =[
Nov 18, 2006 9:56 pm - i agree with maxwell... what did happen to punk? dead kennedys, misfits, ramones, dead milkmen, and even though they aren’t exactly punk per say, sublime... best bands of all time, in my opinion
Nov 19, 2006 1:14 am - punks are the grime that proliferates in the depths of my toilet bowl. They go around saying "fuck you, fuck this" and are complaining about the society but never trying to fix anything.
Nov 19, 2006 9:05 am - To Bludninja:
Punk, in my opinion, and at least around my town, where punk is still (amazingly) barely breathing cause of two excellent punk bands (The Puppets and Abandoned Youth), is about unity. It isn’t really all fuck this fuck that, though I see where you can get that idea. We’re outcasts, and other people piss us off cause they won’t accept us, so that’s probably where that idea comes from. People are assholes to us, so we’re assholes right back. We don’t care about them, honestly, because they don’t care about us. This is all just my opinion though. So if you like any punk, let it be me, cause this is how I feel. ;)
And for maxwell:
yeah... I would love to see that fucking concert... it’d be so badass. Also, do you agree punk is about unity, and everything else I said. BTW, 5* on your profile.
Nov 19, 2006 9:40 am - i beleive there is more then one kind of punk.
personally im a political ’punk’ im still a bit sketchy about calling myself that, but hey. i beleive in unity among us but if you DO mess with us, then eys i will walk up to you, and shout FUCK YOU in your face. simple as that. treat us like shit, and you’ll be treated liek shit. only difference is we have nothing to lose ;]
but there are also those dicks who call themselves punk but no NOTHING about it. they’re the ones who give us a bad name, like that fat white kid in your school who trys to hard ot be black, you know? the one wiht the XXL G-unit shirt? and the. . . i dont even KNOW what gangstas wear for shoes. . . but you get the idea.
Nov 19, 2006 3:27 pm - You raise very good points. I, too, believe that I am a political punk, though not entirely. I agree with you completely. I do that too, the whole treat us like shit and we’ll yell fuck you in your face. I have done it before, and I will most likely do it again. I just want people to realize we arent all assholes. We need to get the real punks to rally and show people what we’re all about.
Nov 26, 2006 8:34 am - no one on this site is an anarchist. anarchy IS NOT burning down somones house. its not stealing a shirt instead of buying it. the fact that you are a part of this site ALONE proves you arn’t an anarchist. as this site has rules, and the fact that you are part of a group. so no. no one here is an anarchist.
May 21, 2007 7:05 pm - there is a better receipt scam: you go to wal -mart or target, find a receipt on the ground steal the item that it says on it and sell it back to them for your refund. works almost everytime.
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