DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME : Our text files and message bases are for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. DO NOT undertake any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site.We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
(138 votes) Published: Dec 05, 2003 12:00 a.m. In 1 Favorites Lists Viewed 955 times
The day I became a boy again was many years ago. It started out as just another ordinary day, the average nine year olds life. Then my life took a wrong turn and I ended up being taken away by the biggest law enforcement agency in the entire world the FKM, aka the Flying Kites for Moles. They started out as a tiny, underground family owned recycled paper, box making company. But before you know it, other moles joined in, one thing led to another, and a completely new breed of mole was created. I’m not sure why they came after me, but I do know there is absolutely no way I am ever going to jump too hard on the ground again! They came from every direction, right down, left down, back down and front down! There was no escaping these heavily armoured fiends. Obviously I struggled, but I was only nine and it was like trying to hold off thousands of pillows being dumped on you like some sort of... pillow dumping ritual for suffocating people. When they had dragged me under the ground for what seemed like 4 or 5 feet, the tiny man hole they used to pull me through opened up into a massive cave which looked like the inside of a bee hive. There were moles thousands upon thousands of moles sleeping in the bee hive type segments on the walls. The noise from their snoring was unbearable. The moles took me along the tunnel of sleeping moles, and as we went further the cave grew bigger and so did the moles. By the time I had walked no more than 100 steps the moles were as big as small horses. Right at the end of the tunnel I could make out what looked like a pillar with the hugest mole you have ever seen sitting atop. Did I dare ask the moles a question? Could they speak? Was I killed and instead of going to people heaven I went to mole heaven? I didn’t know what to do so I kneed the mole to my right in the face and ran in the opposite direction. The mole in on my left quickly pulled a necklace to his lips and blew. An extremely loud high pitch roar came from its end. Every single mole in every single bunk jumped out and charged at me. Once again I didn’t know what to do. I tried jumping over them but it was useless - they had clubs.
All I remember after that was waking up in a tight dirt hole then being splashed in the face with what was later explained by a mole to be mole milk. It turns out the FKM is a paper factory turned mole milking plant/power plant/work out facility. Young moles are put on running wheels which produce the power. When the female moles get old enough, the power from the exercise wheels work the milking machines.
The moles were friendly and when they finally took me back to see that big mole on the pillar, he made a business proposal. He said if they let me go, I had to send out flyers to everybody in my neighbourhood for their mole milk business. Because they had been milking for so many years without any business, and mole milk doesn’t have an expiry date, they told me they could make millions out of it. I was hesitant at first, but later agreed to be let free in return for advertisement.
When I arrived home through a sewer, I realised I didn’t have to advertise their crappy little milk business. How would they ever know if I did it or now? Not advertising was the biggest mistake I had every made...
You’ll have to wait until next chapter to find out what happens to our mysterious character back in the land of sunshine.
Edit Page
Message Po
Add Comment
Add to Favorites
Email to Friend
