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Yes thats right, an omelet without eggs. Don’t worry- if you have already made an omelet and received satisfying results, you will be able to cook this without any problem at all.
If you like crispy and fried stuff, your going to love this.
What you will need - Spaghetti
-Mashed Potatoes
-Worcestershire sauce
-Canola/cooking oil
-Optional: Pepporoni
-Fork or other utensil with prongs
-Frying pan and lid
Alrighty. So you want to make yourself an official RottenEggs.com food? Well, first you gotta make sure it doesn’t fuck itself over and burn up. That’s what the canola/cooking oil is for. Pour about one and a half tablespoons of it into the pan (you will need that much. It’s not alot once the cooking is finished.)
Turn up the heat/flame to around half power, and wait for the oil to become thin and able to move around the pan with ease. Once it’s able to do that, tilt the pan around accordingly and just make sure the cooking surface is covered with the oil.
Now comes the pasta, which will be the crunchy but tasty part of the meal. You want to first put about a hand full (WASH YOUR HANDS. Not my problem if you get sick) of pasta onto a plate. Cut it up until most of the pieces are inch long.
This step is very important. Make sure you have your lid within reach. Turn the heat on the burner down to low, and carefully slide the pasta into the pan. It will almost instantly begin to splatter wildy, so get that lid you prepared and put it on top. You need to make sure the flame is on low, or your pasta is going to get burnt regardless if you put oil on it or not.
Wait about five minutes, then take your utensil and flip the pasta. If you did everything correctly up to this point, the side that was cooked should be stiff and fried, but not burnt. Put the lid back on.
Turn the heat up to a little less than medium power. Wait about 3 1/2 to five more minutes. When the time is up, turn it back down to low.
Here come the potatoes. You will need to place these in by hand, so I say again, make sure your hands are clean. Place clusters about 1/2 times larger than that of a gumball around the perimeter of the pasta. Do not space them out. Put a clump or two of potatoes on top of the pasta. Stir and flip until the potatoes are evenly distributed throughout the pasta. Now it is time to put about two small shakes of Worcestershire sauce onto the food. Stir once more.
Put the lid back on, hold down the lid with one hand, and with your other hand, shake the pan to the sides so the food becomes settled and cooks better. Put it back onto the stove, and cook at medium power for about 5 minutes. After the time is up, flip and stir the food around, then settle it with the above shaking method. Wait five more minutes.
At this point, the food should be done. You can add pepporoni now, or fry it seperatley. You do not need to have pepporoni to still enjoy the meal.
To make sure you did it right, check for the following:
The pasta should have a noticeable amount of fried pasta and a noticable amount of pasta in its normal state.
The potatoes should not be fried. If they are browned a little bit, that is ok.
There you have it. Make sure it cools off before you eat it, and enjoy.
And that’s the official Rotteneggs.com eggless omelet. Because our site is better than everyone elses, and we can even name foods after ourselves. Fuck yeah!
PS: Don’t give me your little pussy shit about how this is too lame for RE or how this should be on martha stewarts show. If I wanted you to tell me where it should have been put, I would ask. And My last food egg had a shitload of good comments over the bad ones, so shush. And last but not least, RE eggs help you do different stuff, which is what this egg is doing- would you rather keep seeing egg after egg after egg on how to get a free fuck from a dating site the next day that obviously doesnt work? Though so.
Jul 05, 2007 11:56 pm - you havent tried it. trust me it tastes good. i almost threw up thinking bout it, but when my grandmom made it for me a couple years ago I wasw like HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS TASTES AMAZING!
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