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FIRST OF ALL, THIS EGG WAS COPIED ALMOST WORD FOR WORD FROM TRANSWORLD SKATEBOARDING MAGAZINE APRIL 07 ISSUE***
9 Easy Ways to Escape a Skateboarding Ticket:
1.Run This is the classic defense- grab your shit and book it. Just make sure you’ve got a place to go where you won’t get caught. Otherwise, you’ll have a grown man tackling you onto the hard cement, pulling out the cuffs, and making an episode of COPS out of you. Not to mention the additional charge of "evading the police".
2.Travel in Packs Like your momma always told you: there’s safety in numbers. Writing a ticket for one or two skaters is easy, but writing twelve of them... the last thing cops want is more work. This may be the one time government laziness actually benefits you.
3.Play Dumb Say something like, "After my grandma dropped me off at the skatepark, I met some Boy Scouts who were earning their skateboarding badge. They told me this school had some really smooth cement to ride on. Oh gosh! I didn’t even SEE that ’No Skateboarding’ sign. I hope I’m not in trouble officer, my grandma would kill me." It’s more of a miss than a hit, but cops have known to fall for it.
4.Shed a Tear It’s a little cliche for our tastes, but if you’re young enough and look helpless enough, it just might work. A single tear won’t do the job, though. Give yourself a good punch in the nose, break open those tear ducts, and make sure to give an Oscar-winning performance.
5.Give a Fake Name This one is really popular on the streets and for a good reason (it’s had its fair share of success.), But here’s the catch: if you say your name is Chad Muska and the po-po runs the name through the system, you better be a 29-year-old, blonde-haired male that lives in Los Angeles, or you’re gonna have a problem.
6.Get Foreign If you can ethnically pull it off, and if you actually paid attention in your foreign-language class, this one will frustrate cops right out of writing you a ticket. From the first words outta their mouth, look confused and spout off the language of your choice like you just came from customs. Just make sure the cop can’t speak that language too.
7.Dispose of Anything Illegal This one’s ore of a precaution, but if a cop has you sitting on a curb and is even slightly considering letting you off with a warning, once he finds out you’ve been hiding a tall boy in your sock, you’ll be riding to the station with more than just a skateboarding ticket.
8.Say Your Dad’s a Cop It’s the old unwritten rule that cops take care of other cops, but you gotta have your story straight to properly use this excuse. Once you throw it out there, be ready to be interrogated with a long list of questions: ’What’s His Name?’, ’What precinct does he work for?’, ’For how long?’, ’What type of law enforcement?’. And if he actually checks, you’re screwed.
9.Rat Out an Acquaintantce This is taboo in the Homey Book of Ethics and will probably get you capped in some neighborhoods. But if all else fails and you’re desperate enough, it’s bound to save you. So, If a ticket is on it’s way and you know the guy next to you knocked over the liquor store last night, make a quick mention to the cop and suddenly, riding a skateboard on private property doesn’t seem so criminal anymore. Two wrongs may not make a right, but it works pretty well in this case.
Reviews 1. I think this one works very well, I ran from trouble many times and saved my skin.
2. Traveling in packs is probably the best. If you’ve ever seen Lords of Dogtown when they all run past the police, they can’t catch a bunch of teenagers.
3. Playing dumb might not always work because if your in trouble for skating in private property in broad daylight and the cop clearly sees you, then you can’t really fool him.
4.Shed a tear, damn this one would really work for a really young person who looks innocent. The cop would leave you alone. Possibly.
5. Give a fake name. Three words: Don’t Do It. In some cases it helps. But most of the time the cop will run you’re name and if it doesn’t look like you then you’re fucked.
6. Getting foreign will be maybe the least helpful, if you’re speaking a different language, they can maybe get a translator... maybe.
7. Disposing won’t get you free of a skateboarding ticket, but wont get you charged for carring a weapon or a controlled substance.
8.Saying your dad is a cop... Won’t work.
9. Rat out an acquaintance, don’t do that, you wouldn’t have friends anymore.
-All Reviews Done by K1LL3R_CL0WN-
Thanks for reading my egg, hopefully this will help you. Have fun!
Jul 10, 2007 12:19 pm - back when i skateboarded i just kept a really hot chick around so she could persuades the cop to let us go. cops will be extra lenient with a hot chick.
but yeah. if you coppied this, then 0 stars. you suck.
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