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(32 votes) Published: Aug 29, 2003 12:00 a.m. In 1 Favorites Lists Viewed 198 times
When I was a kid, I’d sometimes visit my cousin, who was 6 years older than me. He lived in a new housing plan, the sort where teens clobber mailboxes with baseball bats for lack of anything better to do. One of his neighbors was in the habit of leaving his garage door wide open, so my cousin would walk right in and steal tools, and swipe food from a refrigerator that was in the garage.
Another neighbor had a Mexican-built Volkswagen Beetle, the Hitler classic automobile with the engine in the rear. That neighbor kept his garage door closed at all times, and parked the Volkswagen in the driveway, with the front of the car facing the house and the garage.
I was invited along, as my cousin put his plan to work. He brought the stolen hand tools, and crawled under the little Volkswagen. He removed the cover from the transmission, and fiddled with some of the adjustments. When he was done, the car would shift into reverse, but would slip out of reverse and into first gear when the driver lets go of the gear selector. He replaced the cover and returned to his house, which was across the street from both neighbors.
We watched from my cousin’s bedroom window when the neighbor got into the Volkswagen and started the engine. I heard the usual CLUNK, and the backup lights came on. The driver engaged the clutch, and the car started backing from the driveway. The driver hit the accelerator, and presumably let go of the gear selector, as the backup lights extinguished. The Volkswagen lurched forward at a surprisingly high rate of speed, and smashed through the closed garage door before he could hit the brakes.
The driver emerged unharmed from the car. The damage to the Volkswagen was minimal, but the garage door was knocked off its tracks and the bottom two sections were broken. The murmur of obscenities from his lips became a torrent when he saw his neighbor’s monogrammed toolbox on the grass near the driveway.
He grabbed the toolbox and marched to the other neighbor’s door. "HEY!! Did you FORGET something?" he bellowed, pounding on the door, and peppering his speech with the standard dozen or so dirty words common to the English language. In the end, someone else called the police to separate the two of them, but not before each had landed a few punches, rolling around on the parched, sun-dried lawn.
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