Football slingshot, destruction ensues
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(25 votes)
Published: Jan 23, 2004 12:00 a.m.
Viewed 380 times |
Youll need a slingshot. Make one yourself with a really WIDE rubber band if you have to. Youll also need some projectiles. I used glass marbles. Your projectiles should be about that size and weight.
I know high school football is extremely popular in some jerkwater towns. In larger cities like mine, the popularity dwindles in inverse proportion to the size of the municipality, such that the only people who attend high school football games and are not directly involved in the game are losers. Being in the band, I had to attend. Many times, we would travel to small towns, where it seemed the entire population of the town would cram into their side of the stadium.
I brought my homemade slingshot and my marbles, and took my assigned seat in the highest row in the stadium. From there, you can launch a projectile anywhere in the building. My first shot went for the opponents sideline. I couldnt hear any sounds, as the players were wearing jerseys over their padding, but they did move sideways a little when the marble came in.
My next shots, about 8 in all, went completely over the football field, and into the seating area, where the entire population of the little szitsplat town was packed. I could hear the metallic, echoing THWAK! as some marbles struck the aluminum bleachers. Some people jumped out of their seats. Dozens of heads turned in the direction of the hit. I launched a couple at the band. I got the same reaction from the band members, and a louder BANG, and perhaps a nice hailstone-type dent in the tuba I was aiming for.
My next couple of shots went on the field, at the opponents offensive line. The first shot hit a helmet, as evidenced by the plastic, hollow THUMP! sound. I took one shot at the opposing quarterback, but he was moving too fast.
I had only one shot left, so I looked down behind the stadium. Being perched at the highest point of the stadium, I could scope out the parking area near the stadium, and found my final mark: the toothless old man dressed in leather boots, stretch-to-fit denim jeans, a huge belt buckle, a checkered shirt, a string tie, and a felt, 10 gallon hat! He was the ticket taker at the perimeter of the stadium. I dont think I hit him, but he looked up in my direction, mouth agape. Perhaps the marble bounced first, then brushed him.
Im pretty sure my school lost the game that afternoon, but that was the best game of high school football Ive experienced in my life. |
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 | Dec 05, 2007 6:07 am -
not worth all that time reading it.2*s |
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