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Funniest Jokes
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(50 votes)
Published: Jul 23, 2003 12:00 a.m.
Viewed 658 times

*I scrounged on the internet to find the elite of what I consider humor. If you’re offended by trivial issues such as race or sexual orientation, don’t read it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Here goes:



What’s the difference between Christopher Reeve and OJ?
OJ Walked.

How many jews can you fit into a VW?
All of them if you use the ash tray.

Here’s one from the deep south: How do you know when your sister’s on her period?
Your father’s #*@! tastes different.

So you heard why they have to change the name of AIDS?
Black people keep applying for it.

What’s yellow and sleeps alone?
Yoko Ono.

What do you get for the pedophile who has everything?
Another Parish

What’s the difference between a priest and acne?
Acne won’t come on your face until you’re 13.

What were the seating sections in the restaurant atop the world trade center?
Smoking, Non-Smoking, and Burned Beyond Recognition

Why do they call the 9/11 police and firemen "New York’s Finest"?
Because you can pour them through a sieve.

How long does it take to fall from the 107th floor of the World Trade Center?
The rest of your life.

So you heard that the space shuttle astronauts had dandruff?
Their head and shoulders washed up on the beach.

How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.

Why do black men cry during sex?
The mace.

Why are there no jews on Star Trek?
It’s the future.

Why don’t #*@!s teach sex ed and driver’s ed at the same time?
The camels can’t take it.

What do you call an ethiopian with a dog?
A vegetarian.

What’s the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes?
Princess Diana wouldn’t be caught dead in a Volvo.

Why didn’t Nicole Simpson’s boyfriends go down on her?
They knew the juice would kill them.


why didn’t superman stop 9/11?
he’s a quadraplegic

Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street and see a 10 year old boy. Priest says, "Man, I’d love to #*@! him.", Rabbi says "Out of how much money?"

why is AIDS a miracle?
it can turn a fruit into a vegetable

why did so many jews go to auschwitz?
they got their train ticket for free

what’s the difference between a jew and a pizza?
pizzas don’t Scream when you stick them in the oven

what’s the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies?
i don’t have a corvette in my garage.

What’s the difference between a bucket of aborted remains and a bucket of sand?
You can’t eat sand.

What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts.

Why can’t Stevie Wonder read?
Because he’s black.

What do 40,000 battered women have in common every year?
--They don’t #*@!in’ listen.

Why did the woman have two black eyes?
--#*@! didn’t listen the first time.

What do you call a white man surrounded by 5 black men?
--A basketball coach.

What do you call a white man surrounded by 10 black men?
--Quarterback.

What do you call a white man surrounded by 1000 black men?
--Warden.

An American Indian, a Mexican and a Black man are all in a car. Who’s driving?
--The sheriff.

Why didn’t the Mexican want to have a kid with the Black lady?
--They didn’t want to have a child too lazy to steal.

What’s the difference between a dead Indian in the road and a dead dog in the road?
--The skid marks in front of the dog.

Why does an Indian have only two pallbears at his funeral?
--Because a trashcan only has two handles.

What’s better than winning a silver medal at the Special Olympics?
--Not being retarded.

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas?
--Cancer.

How can you tell if your roommate is #*@!?
His #*@! will taste like #*@! 		 
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Trulsismann
Jun 18, 2006 2:12 pm -
Copy&Paste?


Icantbelieveit notbuttsex
Mar 09, 2007 3:39 pm -
gay..


AwakeandLifeless
Jun 07, 2007 7:09 pm - fuck you
your a stupid fuckin asshole and id sure as hell love to run into you in a dark alley one day. you dont crack jokes about 9/11 you fuckin prick, that is not cool. go grow some balls and get em kicked cause you need it, fuck you you worthles piece of shit.


rlhnick
Feb 14, 2008 4:11 pm -
some funny jokes, but

[/quote]you dont crack jokes about 9/11 [quote]

it’s true
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