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(223 votes) Published: Aug 28, 2007 7:42 a.m. In 2 Favorites Lists Viewed 1003 times
We all get them, the asinine idiot that enjoys riding your ass on the expressway. And most teachers of drivers ed., as well as most officers, don’t look kindly upon our usual route of handling this.
Brief Q&A Isn’t slamming your brakes acceptable? Absolutely. Not according to officers, but according to me.
Can’t you just pull onto the shoulder, let them go by, and get on their ass? Another acceptable answer to a worldwide issue.
HOWEVER: A better solution exists!
Requirements - A Dirty Windshield
- An idiot to pick on (I’ll show you how to scoop these idiots up)
- A bottle of washer fluid (poured into your washer fluid reservoir, for the unsure kinds)
Finding your Target You don’t always have somebody riding your ass, and that makes it difficult to practice the skills you’ll need for proper execution of this "attack".
Today, I was driving down the Interstate, going xx or even xxx miles an hour. This "smart, well mannered" FUCKING IDIOT decides to go in front of me without signaling.
My first reaction was to ensure him he pissed me off.
So, after slamming the brakes, I start speeding up again, I got rather close (closer than this picture demonstrates, I was late with the camera):
This tard just got pissed back at me for being an "asshole."
It’s okay, I like being an asshole.
SO, Next steps executed:
Idiot, now angry at you, will return the ass-riding favor at first chance.
So, After he gets over, I get in front, he gets back behind me (amazing!)
So, slowing down again, he gets pissed and ride my ass (again, amazing!)
Execution Depress the little logo on your "multi-function bar" that looks like this:
It’s to actuate your "automatic window cleansing system"
When executed with precision, you should see this:
Moments after execution, you’ll see this:
Moron moved back, and over.
This concludes RER’s Driving Techniques Part One, stay tuned, or whatever you call it, for Part Two!
Aug 28, 2007 10:12 am - i dont know about american laws, but in the uk, its ALWAYS the person behinds fault in a crash. so if you brake and they crash into you, theyre fucked! :) wat car are u driving?
I dont get this? i will give you appropiate rating if you explain
Look in the two last pictures, as you can see the car is right up on my ass. By turning on my washers, the fluid is sprayed over the top, and lands on their windshield. The first time they may not think anything of it. Do it for a minute or so, and they’ll know you’re fucking with them.
The second picture shows that car in the middle lane, a few car lengths back. It’s amazingly effective, and fun to do!
Quote:
i dont know about american laws, but in the uk, its ALWAYS the person behinds fault in a crash. so if you brake and they crash into you, theyre fucked! :) wat car are u driving?
2002 Dodge Ram, basically I win in most circumstances. But as for the laws out here, it’s hard to say the blame would definetly fall on the person behind me. Seeing as they were tailgating, I’d have a pretty strong case. BUT, seeing as I jammed the brakes for no other reason but to cause an accident, well, they might reconsider fault in that situation.
Aug 28, 2007 1:50 pm - yer if you say so but what i tend to do is follow the idiot home and then i paint there house blue anyways 5*
soz for double posting
Aug 28, 2007 2:09 pm - Hahaha, i love doing that....sadly, the pump on my fluid resovoir is dead....
Aug 28, 2007 2:30 pm - what i do when someone is riding my ass is throw nickles out the window, straight up in the air, so with any luck theyll crack the assholes windshield depending on the speed
Aug 28, 2007 2:34 pm - I laughed at this, I need to try this in my dads car somtime his winshield washer fluid jets are like cannons they are so so in my car. 5*
Aug 29, 2007 4:35 pm - ahahahahah 5* on egg and profile for what you did to impy and whoever that other guy is i forget. your a great teacher of the voting system! you should show me how you can use it for the better of me though
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