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(44 votes) Published: Aug 04, 2003 12:00 a.m. In 1 Favorites Lists Viewed 4737 times
If you live in the Southeastern US, you know what Im talking about when I say that living in Georgia really blows. I wish I was back in California. And frankly, Id rather be around homosexuals and liberals than people that complain about a piece of fabric at the top of a metal pole. Anyway, heres that great list of fun facts about living in Atlanta, GA. Enjoy!
Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.
Most directions to anywhere start with, "Go down Peachtree. . ." and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House. . . ."
The exception is Cobb County where all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken, and..."
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Parkway, Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave., Peachtree Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, New Peachtree, Old Peachtree, or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.
Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions they will always send you down Peachtree.
Atlantans do not believe in turn signals. You will never see a native signal at a stoplight, to change lanes, or to merge. Never!
Atlanta is home of Coca-Cola. Thats all we drink here, so dont ask for any other soft drink . . . unless its made by Coca Cola. And even then, its still "Coke." Well, actually, I love Diet Coke...maybe this should be in the other page.
Gate One at Atlantas Hartsfield International Airport is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse so wear sneakers and pack a lunch. The doors on the trains in the airport do not reopen like an elevator if you stick your hand out. And, they hurt.
In the city proper, its impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs to that effect so that out-of-towners dont feel lost .. . . theyre just on a "scenic drive."
The 8 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM.
The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:30 to 7:30 PM.
Fridays rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2:00 AM Saturday.
Reversible lanes are not understood by anybody especially those of us who live here. Stay out of them unless you are looking for a head-on collision.
"Sugar" is a more common form of address than "Miss." So is "Sweetpea." "Honey" is always used by Waffle House waitresses.
Ponce de Leon Avenue can only be pronounced by a native, so do not attempt the Spanish or French pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. (The Atlanta pronunciation is "pahnss duh LEE-on.")
The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over.
If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and its on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer if there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" T-shirts.
It is always Smog Alert Day.
Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life, and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlantas version of Old Faithful erupts.
Construction crews arent doing their job properly unless they close down all lanes except one during rush hour.
Atlantans are very proud of our racetrack, known as Road Atlanta. It winds throughout the city on the Interstates, hence its name. Actually, I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of 55 mph is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500" because you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over.
Georgia 400 is our equivalent of the Autobahn. You will rarely see a semi-truck on GA 400, because even the truck drivers are intimidated by the oversized SUV-wielding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the salon or the tennis match to meet their children at the school bus provided by the college prep preschool.
The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy which starts at 120. Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All roads, vehicles, houses, etc., are yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have any allergies you will die.
The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.
Thats the kind of crap I have to deal with on a daily basis.
Aug 04, 2005 9:52 pm - I Too Wish I Were Back In LA I’m from LA, too. I hate it here. I was forced to move here due to my husband’s new job. But Atlanta really sucks. No sidewalks, graveyards right next to new home construction, really bad public schools, bad traffic, ugly houses, and people who smoke! Would that Atlanta would burn as it did during the Civil War!
Mar 30, 2006 12:19 pm - GA sucks Ditto, dude. I am waitiny until my personal issues allow a move back to San Francisco. People say "Its so expensive!" I say "There’s a reason".
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