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(87 votes) Published: Oct 05, 2007 1:59 p.m. Viewed 409 times
Not been on here for fucking ages.... But here goes.
Not sure if this applies to y’all in the U.S of A, but in the UK you get a free newspaper or 4. On the way home from a bit of a fight, I was thinking how I could have got a few more hits in, got a few less hits myself, or any weapon I could have had.
So I came back on here looking for some, and to be honest, I don’t have many lumps of uranium or tanks of petrol laying about so I decided to use the newspaper I mentioned earlier....
For this fairly lethal weapon you’re gonna need:
Newspaper
4x AA batteries (May be foreign to the American crowd, but you can easily use about 40 of your smallest American coins superglued into a 10-coin tube shape)
Take the newspaper, and when you’ve finished reading through it, draw a Hitler moustache on everyone’s faces, then open it up halfway through, to the middle page.
Once you’ve achieved this almighty task *Hopefully your irony detector didn’t just blow up there...* get your AA batteries out of their cardboard tomb, and place them in the centre of the newspaper at the top, length-wise, in a row, in the same polarity they would be in say.... a maglite, like.... +-!+-, where ! is the fold in the newspaper is.
Now wrap the newspaper around the batteries as tightly as possible.
Now fold along the centre fold, so you have a small but fucking painful club that can easily break windows/skulls/hymens.
Have fun and don’t get caught, and if you do, don’t blame me, I told you not to use it as a weapon.
(And as a final statement..... if you’re rating low, at least give me a 2 point boost just because I didn’t give you some shitty sob story)
e do not get free newspapers.
and, batteries are foreign? asshole. our technology is more advanced then your UK tech.
*sigh* you cant take "sticks" into footy games... and he meant the battery categories... like we have AAs AAAs 9Vs etc... didnt know if they were called the same thing over there... also, how is this a stick?! its newspapers and batteries!!! dick lol
this is also cool, someone told me the other weak about a chelsea brick... lyk what teawhy said. the weights thing is a cool idea too :P
4*
We call them AA batteries, but you could call them Type 3 or something....
I just thought the Americans would rather have the comment there so they wouldn’t have to google what the fuck an AA battery is...
You have different shoe sizes and clothes sizes, so why would batteries be different?
Any way, thanks for voting everyone.
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