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Bagels!

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(67 votes)
Published: Dec 09, 2007 6:05 p.m.
In 2 Favorites Lists
Viewed 216 times


Everyone knows that bagels are holy descendants of god, so why wouldn’t you want to create these divine boiled breads yourself, for your own personal enjoyment and consumption? There’s no reason why not. That’s why not. And don’t question my linguistic skills or you will face the wrath of my godly bagel army. Now shut up and listen!

You’ll need:
- 1 Tbsp baking yeast (not quick rise, just regular)
- 6 Tbsp sugar
- 1 cup warm water
- 3 cups flour (white or whole wheat work best)
- 1/4 cup oil
- 1 tsp salt
- An extra 1/2 cup or so of flour for kneading (you probably won’t need to use it all)

Step one:
Dissolve the yeast and 3 tbsp of sugar in a cup of warm water.

Step two:
Add 1 cup of flour and mix it together with a whisk or egg beater.
Let it rise for 10 minutes or so, until you see some tiny holes in the top of the batter.

Step three:
Add the 1/4 cup of oil, 1 tsp of salt, and 2 more cups of flour and mix it together with a big spoon until it’s consistent.

Step four:
Turn the dough onto a lightly floured board and knead it for about 10 minutes, until it’s nice and soft.

Step five:
Preheat the oven to 375*F (180*C) and start boiling a 2 litre (or 2 quart) pot of water mixed with the remaining 3 Tbsp of sugar.

Step six:
Roll the dough into bagel shapes (I make long strips, and then join the ends, but you can make them any way you want). Now let them rise for five minutes on a floured board.

Step seven:
Put your bagels into the boiling water four at a time, and boil them each for about a minute.

Step eight:
Take the bagels out of the boiling water, place them on a greased cookie sheet, and bake them for 25 minutes to half an hour on 375*F (180*C). Take them out when they’re done, and immediately move them to a plate or tray to cool. Makes 15 medium bagels or 35 bite-sized.

VARIATIONS:

Tomato basil bagels:
Add 1 Tbsp tomato paste or 1/4 chopped sun-dried tomatoes and 1 to 2 tsp dried basil on step three. These are really good when you turn them into miniature pizzas.

Cinnamon raisin bagels:
Add 2 Tbsp-1/4 cup raisins, 2 tsp sugar, and 2 tsp-1 Tbsp of cinnamon on step three. These ones are best toasted and peanut buttered for breakfast.

Poppyseed bagels:
Press the tops of the bagels into a dish full of poppyseeds right before you put them in the oven. You can give these to athlete enemies and make them fail their drug tests, or have them for breakfast, but they won’t get you high.

Laxative bagels:
Add 1-2 tsp visine on step three for vengeful godly bagels. FOR REVENGE ONLY.

The reason I didn’t post pictures is A) I don’t have a camera, and B) Food looks bad in pictures that don’t have the right lighting, but I tried to explain it as clearly as possible for you.

If you’d like any more variations of this recipe, or have any questions, feel free to message me or leave a comment, and I’ll see what I can do to help.
 

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RestriCKted

Dec 09, 2007 6:12 pm -
GO MARTHA STEWART..
just go to walmart and buy a fucking begal...0*


EIGHTZEBRAS

Dec 09, 2007 6:14 pm -
Fuck Martha Stewart. Buying bagels from Wal Mart is wrong in so many ways, and making them is cheaper.


RestriCKted

Dec 09, 2007 6:33 pm -
ehh i take it back i re read this and its not bad... ill 5 your profile


EIGHTZEBRAS

Dec 09, 2007 6:34 pm -
Thanks, much appreciated.


Adaire

Dec 09, 2007 6:34 pm -
4 stars- There’s nothing wrong with homemade food, it tastes a great deal better than store-distributed food. Being a good cook can open a lot of doors for you. I took a star off for lack of clarity, pictures really would’be helped out.


Yipper

Dec 09, 2007 6:43 pm -
I go to the bakery a get day old 12 for a dollar


-Blackhawk-

Dec 09, 2007 7:06 pm -
Making a bagel is not worth my time.


--Jotto--

Dec 10, 2007 6:56 am -
I think homemade food is often better, and always costs less.

5*****


deathbyfire

D c 10, 2007 8:24 am -
i choose number B) !!!!!!


allen_moeten_sterve

Dec 10, 2007 5:24 pm -
Lul Jew Food.


misterbuzzkill

Dec 10, 2007 9:27 pm -
i dont think anyone is actually gonna go and make it..even if it was in the pantry or something.. 4*


CrashKattie-621

Dec 11, 2007 9:10 am -
5 and favs


PSYCHEDELICmess

Jan 06, 2008 7:26 pm -
What about everything bagels?
*5 anways


EIGHTZEBRAS

Jan 11, 2008 11:10 am - Everything bagels
Put everything in a dish, then press the bagel tops into said dish of everything before baking.
If everything cannot fit in a dish, sprinkle everything atop each bagel before baking.

-Everything bagels.

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