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(144 votes) Published: Jan 01, 2008 7:25 p.m. Viewed 1005 times
Ok.
So you lost your job? Parents kicked your sorry ass out? Too dumb to get a good job to afford a home? A virgin?
Don’t worry. You’re not alone. Thousands of people live without houses all around the world. Even Egypt.
These people are called "scum".
But what you must learn is that if you’re dedicated enough, living on the streets is simple as fucking a dead person.
Step one: Finding a good place: OK! so, chances are all the good places (under bridges, junk yards, shelters, etc) will be taken. So go and look around the city to find a good place. I recommend looking for abandoned buildings, drug houses (not to live, but for drugs...since you’re on the street. Your life can’t get any worse so you may aswell get addicted to the hardest drug out there), brothels (not to live, but for a quick shag), riverbeds, and anywhere secluded where you won’t get bothered by the police, of youngins’ looking to beat your sorry ass.
Step two: creating a house: Right, now that you have a good location, start creating your house.
Use things like shopping trollies, cardboard boxes, newspaper, plastic, anything you can get your hands on really.
...The main thing you have to watch out for here is for raging homosexual sex addicts. They’ll hide and wait for you to pass out from excessive alcohol consumption and drug use and then come rape you senseless. So always be on your guard...
Ok, once you have collected all the materials. Build your house (haha house. That’s a joke isn’t it? It’s probably not fit for a mongrel dog you live in you homeless piece of shit!).
Step three: making friends: Now that you have a place to invite your homeless friends over to, it’s time to get some you loner!
First, go to the soup kitchens and strike up a conversation about homeless stuff. Here’s an example:
You: Hey there.
Homeless bitch: Hey?
You: Fuck I hate living on the streets. I need some Goddamn poontang. I’m sick of shooting up by myself!
Homeless bitch: You have heroin? I’ll give you some poontang. If I can have heroin?
You: K lol.
Homeless bitch: I haven’t showered in a month.
You: Yuck. I masterbate into condoms so I don’t have to clean up.
Homeless bitch: Nice.
There. Now you have a friend who is willing to have sex with you for drugs. It’s your lucky day!
Just repeat that with other homeless people and you’ll be popular in no time!
Step four: Money: Now that you’re hooked to heroin, pot, glue, crystal meth, coke, X, crack, LSD, opium, alcohol, and more you’re going to need a lot of money.
The easiest way is to steal. BUT that has a high risk. So you need to know what you’re talking about. You need to talk to a skilled thief.
Talk to our very our forum moderator! GMT! HE’S A QUALITY THIEF!
There’s other ways to make money though. Dealing drugs (if you don’t use em all ya junkie), prostitution, gang related jobs, welfare money, and more.
Step five: Dealing with aggression (yours and other people’s): Now that you’re on the streets abusing drugs and alcohol and all that jazz, you tend to become a bit pissed off with your life. So you get aggressive.
And most bums get rid of this aggression with fighting. Each other as well as police, children, church goer’s, Africans, Animals, Gays, Shop owners, Babies, Cripples, Mentally challenged people, and more.
So you’re going to need to get better at fighting. I recommend starting off with children. And beat them severely. Then slowly move up the ranks.
With this egg you’ll be KING OF THE HOMELESS!
Thanks guys.
This is my first egg. So all rate 5*+
You part of the reason RE is going downhill. People should vote on the content of the egg and vote high/low because you like/dislike the person. C’mon man, that’s lame.
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