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(111 votes) Published: Jan 04, 2008 7:39 p.m. Viewed 412 times
Ah yes, so you’ve always to be a hippie. Well, dust off that Led Zeppelin album and break out your bong beacause you too can become a hippie using my easy system!!!
#1. To get started on your path to becoming a hippie you have to quit your job. Because everyone knows that the "man" can’t get in your dirty, stinky path to happiness and freedom.
#2. Just stop showering or bathing. No deoderant either!
#3. SMOKE LOTS OF POT!!! Expand your mind brothers and sisters.
#4. Grow your hair very long and curly. (Kinda like Peter Frampton)
#5. Know how to dress. TYE DYE is the answer to everything. Also any T-shirts with 60’s and 70’s bands. Bell bottom jeans and peace sign necklaces are required.
#6. See #3
#7. It’s time to listen to some music. Led Zeppelin, Pink Flyod, Bob Marley, The Who,The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and The Eagles are all very good choice. And for movies, make sure you watch Easy Rider.
#8. Get involved in some kind of peace movement. Or just sit at some intersection with a sign that says "Make Love, Not War".
#9. Eat all natural food. Go green. Very, very green. This includes buying a VW. Yes, the minibus.
#10. Free Love. Enough said.....
Now, you have two choices while coming to the end of your hippie career both of which will be outlined here.
BURN OUT
This is an easy one. You let pot lead to heavier, more dangerous drugs. One night, while parting with your friends you decide to take heroin and lots of alcohol. You get sleepy and decide to crash on a sofa. You have to make sure that you sleep face down so that you are guaranty that you suffocate on your on puke!
Fade Away
This one kinda sucks, but if you don’t want to die then this is the one for you! After living it up, you decide that it is time to settle down and have a family. Boy are you in luck, because of all the girls you screwed atleast 2 of them are now pregnant with your child. All you have to do is pick one. Be careful, because the one that you don’t pick is liable to find you and gun you down in the streets one day, but don’t worry about that now. It’s time to give in to the "man", get a job (preferably in some huge office where you have 18 bosses). You also have to lose all your hair (Like Peter Frampton). But it’s not so bad, you get to make guest appearances at relief concerts, and maybe even on the Surreal Life!
This concludes my system. Get at it and you too can be a hippie!
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