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(91 votes) Published: Jan 14, 2008 12:48 a.m. Viewed 418 times
Hey there. I got another 100% serious egg for you all. Hope it helps.
Say you hated your life, and want to ruin it? And let’s face it. Most of you do since you’re sitting at home reading this.
Well have no fear whatsoever. I’ll help you with this. Once I’m done with you society will look down on you, your mother will disown you AND people will slap you repetitively.
K. the first step is to decide how you’re going to do it. Be it drugs, gangs, prostitution, anal penetration, illegal street fighting, public masturbation, child rape, ANARKEY YO, or even a combo of all of them, you need to have an aim. You need dedication.
I’m telling you, you fucking need dedication to properly ruin your own life ok?
Awesome. In this egg I’ll briefly look at all these options in detail.
Sweet az. Brilliant. Let’s get this show on the road.
DRUGS & GANGS
K, Drugs (including alcohol) and gangs generally go hand in hand. Why? Because we all know gangs = GOOD FUCKING DRUGS MOTHERFUCKER.
Now, I’m not implying drugs and gangs ruin your life. I’m saying if you’re a retard about them, they will.
So. First step if you want to ruin your life with drugs and gangs is to be a retard.
Won’t be hard for some of you (Brjo).
All you got to do is do as much drugs as humanly possible and piss off as many gangs as you can.
And within months your life will be in complete ruins yo.
To piss gangs off simply walk up to gang members and spout out shit like their drugs suck and "I’ve found better drugs in my mum’s ass" and "other gangs GIVE me drugs as bad as yours" and "fuck you you stupid fagot, c’mon...fight me...I’ll put you in temp death state yo"
After that you may have to spend several nights in your local hospital. After that you’ll be in ruins. Trust me.
PROSTITUTION
Well this is obvious. If you’re a guy and you become a prostitute. You can pretty much consider your life one massive ruin (I’ll get to the female section in a sec, don’t have a fucking cow...geez).
ANAL PENETRATION
K, well I guess some guys like having things penetrate their assholes. But not for this kid. Let me tell you.
So if you’re not a freak who likes anal penetration then all you need to do is get a large blunt object (or male penis, if you’re gay. A black male penis if you’re fucking SICK) and insert directly into your anus. Doing this may sting severely so use generous amounts of anal strength lubricant.
Once copious of amounts of anal pentration has occurred, your life will be meaningless. Hence? your life is one big RUIN.
ILLEGAL STREET FIGHTING
Only idiots fight in illegal street fights and think they’re doing the world a favor.
You see. The fighting isn’t what will ruin your life (unless you’re weak. Then it will.).
It’s the fact that you associate with bumlickers who think they’re some sort of super machines, ’cause they can fight illegally on streets.
I mean picture it? Fighting illegally ON STREETS?
If you’re going to do fucking illegal fighting at least do it in your mums basement. Jesus titty fucking Christ.
Once you associate with these grade A idiots you will have ruined your life for good.
PUBLIC MASTURBATION (FOR BRJO)
Alright. Public masrurbation, unless you’re a outta this world hot chick is only good for one thing.
Yep you guessed it.
RUINING LIVES! Not only will you ruin your own! but you’ll ruin the peoples lives who witness you flogging your log in the broad daylight!
Do this as followed:
1: Don’t wank for weeks. To get uber stiff.
2: Find a busy street corner (free of illegal fighting. Their lives are already ruined enough)
3: Masturbate.
If you cannot figure out step 3, then please log off RE and commit suicide. You’re life is ALREADY ruined (that means you Brjo).
CHILD RAPE
Now, child rape is srsly taboo right?
Well the more you do it, the more people will say "what a ruined life" when they look at you.
This is funny. For me at least. But not for the children.
Collectively, if you rape children and get caught your life will be ruined.
However...If you rape children without getting caught, you’ll live a fun-filled life while the said child’s life will be ruined and will either swallow several outdated pills and wash em down with some vodka OR become EMO.
So if you want to ruin your life, get caught. Simple really? Just rape in broad daylight.
If you pull this off, and live to tell the tale. PLEASE E-mail me. I would love greatly to meet you and shake your hand. It would be epic.
Now for the female section!!
You don’t need to do anything.
You can’t handle your emotions OR hormones.
And bleed on a monthly basis.
Your lives are already ruined.
As for blacks, your lives are in the dumps too. You’re the color of poo!
As for gays, anal penetration. RUINED!
As for arabs, you blow yourselves up RUINED LOL.
As for cripples. Well i don’t need to say anything about how ruined your lives are do I?
K. Hope you loved my egg.
5* plz. It was my first egg.
And also 5*. I’m making a R.I.P group for Grunter and need more points.
Thanks.
Hope you all liked it.
P.s. Would kill many of you and make sweet sweet love to your decaying bodies.
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