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(132 votes) Published: Feb 04, 2008 8:30 p.m. In 3 Favorites Lists Viewed 641 times
I warn you now, this will be a long egg, but it will be worth the read if you’re interested in learning some important truths when it comes to defending yourself.
Hello everyone. My name is MagicNinja, and I’ve been trying to figure out for a while what I would write my first egg about. Some ideas I considered were making an effective pair of nunchaku, turning ordinary coins into tools or throwing weapons, or some basic self defense techniques utilizing a pair of nunchaku, a fighting stick, or a number of other self-defense devices. After browsing the site for a while, though, it became clear to me that my first egg needs to be about fighting. There are floating around this site some rather misguided notions about fighting and self defense, and I feel it is necessary to clear those things up. Some people will consider my ideas underhanded, weak, and cowardly. I fully expect those people to give me zero stars, and I also fully expect them to be seriously injured or killed in a fight. Those who are intelligent enough to heed this information or those who already agree with it will probably give me five stars, and those are the people I expect to live long, happy, and safe lives.
First of all, there are good and bad reasons to enter a fight. There are literally thousands of bad reasons, but there are only TWO good ones. The first is to protect yourself from bodily harm or death. The second is to protect somebody else from bodily harm or death in the event that he or she is unable to protect himself or herself. Those, I repeat, are the ONLY good reasons to enter a fight. Lashing out at someone because he made you angry or impugned your "honor" is not a good reason to enter a fight and does not make you more manly or honorable; it makes you a violent person who lacks self-control. Challenging someone to a duel for similar reasons is just stupid. Challenging someone to a fight is like writing "Throw myself down the basement stairs" in your day-planner. Why in the blazing fuck would you schedule yourself for an event that carries a high risk of injury and a nonexistent chance of anything positive happening?
The second rather uninformed opinion about fighting is that there are certain tactics that are unacceptable for a "clean" or "fair" fight. This, simply and aptly put, is bullshit. If you’re fighting for the right reasons, then either your life and health or someone else’s are at stake, and when those things are on the line there is no tactic that is too savage, sneaky, or dirty. If you’re going to be killed, you must do whatever it takes to kill or incapacitate your opponent as quickly as possible in order to protect yourself and those around you. Weapons are not only acceptable, but are my preferred method of gaining an edge in a fight. Check out what weapons are legal in your area, pick a favorite, and carry it in the open. Why in the open? Would I really want somebody to know I’m carrying a weapon? The answer is an emphatic yes! For one thing, laws about concealed weapons are for more restrictive across the board than laws about weapons carried in the open. The second thing is that if someone sees that you have a weapon, he’s much less likely to fuck with you in the first place. Some people seem to believe that the only "honorable" or "manly" way to fight is bare-fisted and that anyone who would use weapons is a pussy. This, once again, is a rather large and pungent pile of bullshit.
The problem with this logic is that it places far too much trust in your opponent to observe the same principles and rules that you do. Imagine, for a moment, that you’ve been provoked into having a fight. Some fool has insulted your mother and your manhood, and the only acceptable thing to do is beat that fucker to the ground and spit on his limp, quivering body. So you begin, and you’re doing what any "real" man would do: beating said fucker to within an inch of his life with nothing but your own two hands and your ample physical prowess. That plan is working quite well, too...until he decides he’s sick of losing, draws a knife, and stabs you three times in the chest. What a pussy! No real man would bring a knife to a fight, much less use it! Problem? Well, that pussy just stabbed you in the chest, and now you’re "honorably" bleeding to death like a bitch. The same thing goes for tactics such as biting, scratching, eye gouging, and strikes to the groin. In a fight, you should be aiming to end the confrontation as quickly as possible. The longer you draw it out, the higher the chances you’ll be hurt or killed. Your goal should be to drop your opponent in as few strikes as possible. Hits to the nose, crotch, solar plexus (the area at the bottom of the rib cage) and the top of the foot are particularly effective ways to incapacitate your opponent with pain. Strikes to the eyes will blind an opponent, and if a man can’t see, he can’t fight. Some of these tactics may seem too vicious or underhanded, but keep in mind that nothing--and I mean nothing--is unacceptable when it comes to keeping yourself or someone else alive and well. If someone else is trying to hurt or kill you, you are more than justified in crippling or killing him. Also, keep in mind that if somebody pulls a weapon on you, you are fully within your legal rights to strike first and hard.
I’ll leave you with the most effective self defense technique ever devised. Ninjas have employed this technique for centuries. It has been employed for thousands of years by countless numbers of people, and it remains without question the absolute most effective way to defend yourself from ANY attacker, regardless of size or fighting ability. The technique of which I speak...is running away. That’s right. If somebody is trying to hurt or kill you, your best bet for escaping the situation unscathed is to simply turn on your heels and run as far and as fast as you can. Think about it. I’m 5’6" and I weigh about 145 pounds. I’m not that heavy as far as people go, so if I’m standing still I can be hit, thrown, or have any number of other unpleasant things done to me. If I’m running, however, that takes my 145 pounds of weight and adds inertia to it. Stopping or slowing 145 pounds moving at full running speed takes a lot of force. Let’s say somebody pulls a knife on me, and I simply turn tail and flee. While he’s registering what has just happened, formulating a response, and beginning to run, I’ve already put a good second or two of distance between myself and my attacker. while running full speed, he will have an immensely difficult time hitting or stabbing me even if he gets close enough to do so. If he wants to hurt me, his only option is to stop me or slow me down, and he runs a high risk of hurting himself as well as me in the process. The other thing to remember is that most attackers simply will not chase you because they don’t want to risk being lead into a populated area or, worse, the waiting arms of a police officer on his night patrol. You should ONLY enter a fight if you’re cornered and are unable to run, and in that case your goal should be to incapacitate your attacker and then run. If you must kill him, wait where you are and notify the police. As long as you acted in self defense, you are legally in the clear. Some of you are saying to yourselves, "What a wuss! Running from a fight is for bitches! Real men stand their ground!" You’re absolutely right. Real men also get stabbed and beaten to death. I’d rather be a live bitch than a dead man. Pussies who run from fights generally live long happy lives and enjoy privelages like fucking, drinking, watching the super bowl, hiking, playing baseball, learning to speak Japanese...whatever floats your boat. Dead men miss out on all that, pretty much.
So there it is. My first egg has come to a close. Feel free to comment and rate.
First of all, there are good and bad reasons to enter a fight. There are literally thousands of bad reasons, but there are only TWO good ones. The first is to protect yourself from bodily harm or death. The second is to protect somebody else from bodily harm or death in the event that he or she is unable to protect himself or herself. Those, I repeat, are the ONLY good reasons to enter a fight. Lashing out at someone because he made you angry or impugned your "honor" is not a good reason to enter a fight and does not make you more manly or honorable; it makes you a violent person who lacks self-control. Challenging someone to a duel for similar reasons is just stupid. Challenging someone to a fight is like writing "Throw myself down the basement stairs" in your day-planner. Why in the blazing fuck would you schedule yourself for an event that carries a high risk of injury and a nonexistent chance of anything positive happening?
I don’t give a rat’s ass about the rest of the egg. That was good enough to make me decide my rating.
There is so much truth in that quote, it’s incredibly. That exact paragraph should be rammed into everyone’s mind since the moment they are born, it’s one of the greatest truths.
I’m in Ninjitsu, and that high level of self control is something we’re always exercising. If you fight for a bad reason, then you have in a sense already lost. That is what our sensei always tells us, and I firmly believe it.
5***** and favs. If you can’t even control yourself, you are nothing.
Feb 04, 2008 10:24 pm - ey mate nice egg jus wanted to say that here in aus.its similar howeva if u do manage to kill the guy by defending yourself theres not a 100% chance you will b able to plea self defence. especially if you have training in martial arts or etc. and it may just mean you get charged with manslaughter. for you to b able to plea self defense and defiantly get away with it you must have (in no specific order)1 tried to get away from the attacker. 2 called for help and 3 told the attacker that you do not want to engage in combat with him/her (hopefully not her) because you have been training in .......... and have achieved a certain belt/dan or level. yer i know its bullshit if some1 has a knife on you your not gona start a conversation wif him but its the law. just thought id add it in there great 1st egg 5* and gl wif getin away wif self defence
Feb 05, 2008 9:46 am - good egg 5*’s, when your in a fight it’s a serious threat to your life, it’s not fucking boxing there are no rules you do w/e you need to do to get the job done...
Hello everyone. My name is MagicNinja, and I’ve been trying to figure out for a while what I would write my first egg about. Some ideas I considered were making an effective pair of nunchaku, turning ordinary coins into tools or throwing weapons, or some basic self defense techniques utilizing a pair of nunchaku, a fighting stick, or a number of other self-defense devices. After browsing the site for a while, though, it became clear to me that my first egg needs to be about fighting. There are floating around this site some rather misguided notions about fighting and self defense, and I feel it is necessary to clear those things up. Some people will consider my ideas underhanded, weak, and cowardly. I fully expect those people to give me zero stars, and I also fully expect them to be seriously injured or killed in a fight. Those who are intelligent enough to heed this information or those who already agree with it will probably give me five stars, and those are the people I expect to live long, happy, and safe lives.
First of all, there are good and bad reasons to enter a fight. There are literally thousands of bad reasons, but there are only TWO good ones. The first is to protect yourself from bodily harm or death. The second is to protect somebody else from bodily harm or death in the event that he or she is unable to protect himself or herself. Those, I repeat, are the ONLY good reasons to enter a fight. Lashing out at someone because he made you angry or impugned your "honor" is not a good reason to enter a fight and does not make you more manly or honorable; it makes you a violent person who lacks self-control. Challenging someone to a duel for similar reasons is just stupid. Challenging someone to a fight is like writing "Throw myself down the basement stairs" in your day-planner. Why in the blazing fuck would you schedule yourself for an event that carries a high risk of injury and a nonexistent chance of anything positive happening?
The second rather uninformed opinion about fighting is that there are certain tactics that are unacceptable for a "clean" or "fair" fight. This, simply and aptly put, is bullshit. If you’re fighting for the right reasons, then either your life and health or someone else’s are at stake, and when those things are on the line there is no tactic that is too savage, sneaky, or dirty. If you’re going to be killed, you must do whatever it takes to kill or incapacitate your opponent as quickly as possible in order to protect yourself and those around you. Weapons are not only acceptable, but are my preferred method of gaining an edge in a fight. Check out what weapons are legal in your area, pick a favorite, and carry it in the open. Why in the open? Would I really want somebody to know I’m carrying a weapon? The answer is an emphatic yes! For one thing, laws about concealed weapons are for more restrictive across the board than laws about weapons carried in the open. The second thing is that if someone sees that you have a weapon, he’s much less likely to fuck with you in the first place. Some people seem to believe that the only "honorable" or "manly" way to fight is bare-fisted and that anyone who would use weapons is a pussy. This, once again, is a rather large and pungent pile of bullshit.
The problem with this logic is that it places far too much trust in your opponent to observe the same principles and rules that you do. Imagine, for a moment, that you’ve been provoked into having a fight. Some fool has insulted your mother and your manhood, and the only acceptable thing to do is beat that fucker to the ground and spit on his limp, quivering body. So you begin, and you’re doing what any "real" man would do: beating said fucker to within an inch of his life with nothing but your own two hands and your ample physical prowess. That plan is working quite well, too...until he decides he’s sick of losing, draws a knife, and stabs you three times in the chest. What a pussy! No real man would bring a knife to a fight, much less use it! Problem? Well, that pussy just stabbed you in the chest, and now you’re "honorably" bleeding to death like a bitch. The same thing goes for tactics such as biting, scratching, eye gouging, and strikes to the groin. In a fight, you should be aiming to end the confrontation as quickly as possible. The longer you draw it out, the higher the chances you’ll be hurt or killed. Your goal should be to drop your opponent in as few strikes as possible. Hits to the nose, crotch, solar plexus (the area at the bottom of the rib cage) and the top of the foot are particularly effective ways to incapacitate your opponent with pain. Strikes to the eyes will blind an opponent, and if a man can’t see, he can’t fight. Some of these tactics may seem too vicious or underhanded, but keep in mind that nothing--and I mean nothing--is unacceptable when it comes to keeping yourself or someone else alive and well. If someone else is trying to hurt or kill you, you are more than justified in crippling or killing him. Also, keep in mind that if somebody pulls a weapon on you, you are fully within your legal rights to strike first and hard.
I’ll leave you with the most effective self defense technique ever devised. Ninjas have employed this technique for centuries. It has been employed for thousands of years by countless numbers of people, and it remains without question the absolute most effective way to defend yourself from ANY attacker, regardless of size or fighting ability. The technique of which I speak...is running away. That’s right. If somebody is trying to hurt or kill you, your best bet for escaping the situation unscathed is to simply turn on your heels and run as far and as fast as you can. Think about it. I’m 5’6" and I weigh about 145 pounds. I’m not that heavy as far as people go, so if I’m standing still I can be hit, thrown, or have any number of other unpleasant things done to me. If I’m running, however, that takes my 145 pounds of weight and adds inertia to it. Stopping or slowing 145 pounds moving at full running speed takes a lot of force. Let’s say somebody pulls a knife on me, and I simply turn tail and flee. While he’s registering what has just happened, formulating a response, and beginning to run, I’ve already put a good second or two of distance between myself and my attacker. while running full speed, he will have an immensely difficult time hitting or stabbing me even if he gets close enough to do so. If he wants to hurt me, his only option is to stop me or slow me down, and he runs a high risk of hurting himself as well as me in the process. The other thing to remember is that most attackers simply will not chase you because they don’t want to risk being lead into a populated area or, worse, the waiting arms of a police officer on his night patrol. You should ONLY enter a fight if you’re cornered and are unable to run, and in that case your goal should be to incapacitate your attacker and then run. If you must kill him, wait where you are and notify the police. As long as you acted in self defense, you are legally in the clear. Some of you are saying to yourselves, "What a wuss! Running from a fight is for bitches! Real men stand their ground!" You’re absolutely right. Real men also get stabbed and beaten to death. I’d rather be a live bitch than a dead man. Pussies who run from fights generally live long happy lives and enjoy privelages like fucking, drinking, watching the super bowl, hiking, playing baseball, learning to speak Japanese...whatever floats your boat. Dead men miss out on all that, pretty much.
So there it is. My first egg has come to a close. Feel free to comment and rate
WOW this is a long egg to bad all that typing was a waste of time. 0*
Feb 05, 2008 6:25 pm - I love it! This is the only true way to survive! I’ve studied many different forms of martial arts and find the best self-defense system in fighting "dirty." The only thing I would like to add to your outstanding 1st egg is the ear "clap." Clapping both ears forces air into the eardrum which usually ruptures it. This causes your attacker to loose all sense of balance leaving him vulnerable to other strikes. If you guys really want to learn how to survive, not fight, survive, go here http://www.targetfocustra ning.com/ . My uncle works for these guys and the stuff is legit.
Fe 05, 2008 11:11 pm - Aha! I can finally post comments!
Quote:
I cant wait for Alle’s response. 5*
Alle’s response was fairly swift. He left the first comment on my egg, and I let it stand out of sheer negligence for anything that dull fucker says. Apparently he rated me 0* because his attention span and poor reading skills do not allow him to assimilate large bodies of information all at once.
Thanks to all who actually gave this a thorough read and gave it the rating you believe it deserves. For those of you that gave this a 0 simply because you don’t like reading, I suggest you remove yourself from the gene pool to prevent further contamination of the human race’s already deprecated selection of chromosomes.
Feb 07, 2008 12:15 am - It does work, at least as far as keeping you alive is concerned. I can deal with being called names, and I vastly prefer it to being hospitalized or killed.
By the way, I believe Alle’s comment would translate as
Too Long; Didn’t Read, 0*.
Like I said before, it’s not my problem if some people consider reading to be a difficult mental chore. They can 0 me all they want. Intelligence will win out. Unless you’re electing a president, that is.
Feb 09, 2008 9:03 am - you will come to realise that a bunch of people on this site seem to have ADD and will not read any egg longer than 1 paragraph. alle rating it 0 for no reason other than the fact that he has the attention span of roadkill is pretty stupid but, sadly, quite common.
5*s for saying the truth, pride and honor uck over too many people.
Feb 23, 2008 8:06 am - excellent wonderful egg...i just now read it because i didn’t have the time before. this shows probably a great deal more than most people on RE have to offer combined (which is quite pathetic if you ask me). 5*
Mar 01, 2008 8:41 pm - you have great morals =] congrats.....and yes....you will learn to either love or hate or just feel like shitting on alle’s face
Mar 11, 2008 9:57 pm - EN, you clearly didn’t read the entirety of my egg. I thoroughly condone the use of any and all weapons in a fight, and I said as much. I also have no formal martial arts training. When I say "fight," what I mean is stab the fucker/kick him in the nuts, then flee. Fights are pointless and dangerous, and any means necessary to ending them are fair game in my book.
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