DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME : Our text files and message bases are for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. DO NOT undertake any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site.We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
(55 votes) Published: Feb 18, 2008 2:47 a.m. Viewed 376 times
How to make a hat.
I opened the door and out he came, a bulbous character full of shame! I asked if he wanted me to sing, but he didn’t say a god damned thing! I checked the date, and made sure with my new mate. He told me the alphabet, but missed most of the letters. He added some numbers. His name is Philip.
He can give Luke to everyone given the right numbers of a different name. Luke warm is the temperature he can make the water become. Hot as a sun a million miles from space, he can warm up your gin and can’t cool a thing.
I was giving Philip a wipe and noticed a tear in his eye. I asked him what the matter was but he didn’t know. I asked if a cat had his tongue and it brought a gasp of joy. I screwed him in and turned him on to get things hot. I couldn’t look directly at him, such a bright little boy wasting away the power of mother earth.
We were talking one evening, listening to some fine classical music, and I noticed that same tear reappear. I didn’t say anything and the conversation ended abruptly. I observed poor Philip for a while. There was something missing. What was it? It wasn’t obvious. What was it? His head - His head seemed bare. It was! He was missing a hat. He needed a hat. Where was his hat?
After a long explanation, Philip came to the conclusion that on one breezy autumn afternoon his hat blew away and because of his lack of ability he couldn’t replace it with a new hat. I made it my mission to get Philip a new hat. It took 3 months but I found a suitable hat after an arduous series of interviews.
Among the interviews, Liz Mitchell from Boney M offered her talent, but her half-assed hat was more of a half-assed muumuu than a full-assed hat.
So I fired Liz and Mr Wonka was next in line. His hat was perfect.
It suited Philip perfectly so I made some arrangements and got a second hat made. I put it on Philip and a new tear appeared, a tear of joy.
Edit Page
Message Po
Add Comment
Add to Favorites
Email to Friend
