DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME : Rotteneggs.com text files and message bases are for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. DO NOT undertake any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site.We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
this egg is to show you, as a young person how to buy cigs if you forgot your id. also works for liquor but can be diffrent. it will be explained at the end of the egg
this is an indept guide, if you are not a smoker or never intend to smoke dont bother reading but dont rate it low because its about smoking. if your not cool with that then dont bother, rate based on the content, not the topic.
this egg is NOT intended to describe how minors purchase cigarettes. if its used for that purpose i take no responsibility.
no grammer editing, i dont appeal to grammer nazi’s. its readable, thats what counts.
being a smoker it sucks when your without cigs and if you forgot your id or simply dont have one. it can sometimes be a bitch to get smokes.
your best weapon on purchasing them is mass availability. every supermarket, every gas station and tobacco shops sells them. i live in a very small town and i can count atleast 20 places to get smokes from.
when you go in to buy your smokes and you dont have ID. simply walk up and ask for them, dont go in giggling and having a friend pushing you twords the clerk with sweat drippin down your face and heart pumpin. there gonna know you shouldnt be buying them
instead go in like you were simply buying a soda pop except its kept behind the counter.
knowing what you want makes a huge difference. dont say "uhh id like a pack of cigarettes" instead say something along the lines of "id like a pack of marlboro longs, in the red hard pack"
which brings me to cig lingo
pack = box containing usualy 20 cigarettes
carton = 10 packs per carton (200 cigs), dont ask for this without id.
hard pack = cardboard box. more durable
soft pack = more of a plastic shell instead of a box
usually hard and softpacks are same price
longs, kings or 100 = the length of a cigarette. 100 mm, usually there interchangeable but if your unsure ask for 100
shorts or regulars = as opposed to longs, usually 70mm long.
regulars are sometimes referred to type of tobacco, instead of length.
120 = 120 mm, only available in chick smokes. if your a dude dont smoke these less your a faggot.
as for the type of smokes, it varys incredibly across the spectrum of names an colors
for example, usualy green colored packs are menthol. aside from that it changes from maker to maker.
theres lights, ultra lights, milds, menthol, regulars, full, and a variety of others depending on the makers. if your unsure or asked "what kind you want" just say the regulars or simply point, the clerk will put her/his hand on one then just go ya thats it.
when you buy your smokes, act tired and pissed off. not super happy and giddy like your a 15yr old girl trying to score some smokes. dont act like that
act pissed because when smokers dont get there smokes there pissed off. its called nicotine withdrawal and its the pits. you gotta sell the attitude. dont go in there insulting the clerk or throwing shit against the wall. simply act like some dude just bitch slapped you in the parking lot and you need to calm your nerves.
thats the way in ordering smokes, be pissed but calm, dont act like a fool and know specifically what you want. since you obviously have access to a comp if your reading this. check out ciggie websites, read what they sell then ask for that.
dressing the part is important too, leave the hello kitty and pokemon shirts at home. your also not a gangsta so i wouldnt suggest struttin up in there with jeans around your ankles a tire hangin from your neck and shit on your head throwin hand signs to the clerk. not if you want to score your smokes that is; but hey give it a try, be what you think is OG and see how far ya get homie.
now if all goes well the clerk wont even give a crap even if you look like your 12. hand you your smokes. hand them the money, get your change and let the next smuck in the line be serviced...thats if everything goes well.
on that note, have your money in hand when purchasing. 5 dollar bill. not a handfull of loose pocket change, even set it on the counter before asking what you want let the clerk see it.
when it doesnt go well is when they ask "can i see your ID" now dont sweat over this, its nothin. ya you dont have id but its not like the clerk is gonna bolt over the counter and tackle you and hold your ass down till the cops arrive. the only thing they can do is refuse to sell anything to you. in which case simply say "thank you" and leave.
when they ask for your id, act pissed like...god why is this person wantin to see my id, geeze im old nuff to be her father. search for it then look up and go "shit....i think i left it at home" sometimes they will say fuck it and give you the smokes, sometimes they will ask how old you are (which anything 18+ works. i recommend 19) and sometimes they ask your birthday for there computer. give them a bs birthday that falls past 18 years ago.(dont say the exact date +18 years) sometimes they will just coldly say "no id, no smokes" in which case, dont push any more. simply say thanks and go to the gas station down the street.
this simple attitude will get you smokes 70% of the time
if you get one who gives you smokes and doesnt bother to card. rember the person who sold them to you and where they work because if your a regular they sure wont card. just be like "dude you sold me a pack last week" which can also be used even if you never seen em before. another tactic is to pick up an empty pack of smokes out of the trashcan and when they ask for your id just say "uhh i dont have it...but i got this if it helps" to show you are a smoker and apparently old enough to buy smokes. pull it out of your pocket where you would normaly keep smokes, like you just ran out and havent thrown it away yet also if possible bum a smoke off someone and put it in your pack, say your on your last one and forgot your id. most will let ya make it. after the first pack you dont gotta bum or dig through the trashcan. after the first pack your pretty much solid.
rember the worse they can do is say no. in which case try a different store or even wonder around the store for about 3 minutes then try a different clerk if more than one is working. wait untill the other one is distracted with another customer though
also when there is a big line behind you they wont wanna sit and argue, so try tactics then because they just wanna get you gone and serve the next person thus there more willin to just sell them to you.
like stated, if one gas station is a no go. theres a good chance theres another one close by and if your able to drive. just leave and go to the next station, try tobacco shops too. if they will sell to you without being carded your pretty much solid.
best bets are young people, people who look like they dont care. long hair on guys, little to no makeup on women, people who smoke themselfs...and working a crappy job for little pay makes you wanna smoke and not care. these are your people and most likely to sell you smokes without carding.
worst choices are ex-smokers. they act better than you and seem to despise smokers because they were able to quit. wont really know there ex-smokers till they open there trap. they would card a 90yr old grandma just to be an ass. older people will card more due to having worked at the pit stop longer and prolly been chewed out a few times for not carding.
girls may have more trouble out of male clerks, for the simple fact the clerk is flirting with you, carding women makes the woman feel younger. its basically saying "wow you dont look 18" which most woman would take as a compliment. but if you flirt you can get the smokes without too much trouble.
as for beer. the difference mostly being more limited options. one if your in a dry county then your screwed off the bat less you distill yourself, which i might cover in another egg.
if its not dry your best bet is super markets. go get a case of beer and go to the far left or right check out. try to purchase if, use the same tactics for cigs except altered for beer. if they wont sell say thank you but instead of leaving. go to the far other side of the check out counters and try again. if not say thanks then go back to the other side and hit the next counter down the line. basically work your way to the middle. this is so the clerk wont see you go to the next person 2 feet away and gives them all time to forget you were ever there, but dont try the same person twice. take the beer with you each time but dont walk twords the door, walk back twords the store if possible (meaning there isnt ppl behind you blocking your path) tell the clerk your gonna put it back on the shelfs for them. they will appreciate it even if they dont sell to ya and you really dont want a case of beer left at every check out cause thats gonna be some suspecious shit
krogers, brookshiers, walmart. they all work that way and if your county/town isnt dry they all sell beer usualy. gas stations too. if you want hard liquor you gotta go to the liquor store usualy. which means you got extremly limited options, possibly only 2-3 places
also with liquor its okay to not know what you want and be...selective, browse around the liquor store for a moment to find what you want if you want. thats cool since its really out there in the open to browse anyways and not shoved behind the counter out of publics grasp like smokes. just take your liquor to the counter and pay, if you want a smaller bottle they might have it behind the counter. feel free to ask.
there is always the option of getting someone with ID to get the smokes/beer for you. if you got an older friend or someone with id have them buy it. if the clerk asks if they are buying it for you UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SAY YES. this is not due to the clerks being able to barrel over the counter and wait for pigs to arrive or doing anything more than selling. but they wont sell to your friend then. just say no its for you. believe it or not some ppl are not this smart and say "oh ya its for that kid out there" idiots. be careful of strangers though, they might take your money and not buy crap, or might get scared when a clerk asks who its for and run off with your shit, thinking its some kind of sting.
rember, dont hate the clerk cause they card. there just doin there job. have some respect for that.
dont be fearful. the worse they can do is say no. they cant hold you, there not gonna call the cops, they cant proove your age and there not gonna call around telling other gas stations not to sell. honestly they dont care there just tryin to keep there own ass outta trouble. howver at anytime you feel like you really need to get out of there fuckin bolt. fuck what a clerk/manager says if they tell you to stay while pigs come. just screw em and run for it. if they use physical force then its false imprisonment but honestly no-one is gonna give a fuck if your buying smokes, all they will do is say NO.
one last tip if your really having trouble. hit up everywhere in town and get get crap. try colleges, you cant buy smokes but hippy kids will usually give ya one if you ask, they wont card ya. just hang around colleges and hit ppl up for cigs when they take a break, 1 person by themselfs is best cuz they usually want company anyways. if someone gives you a smoke dont just take it and bolt, smoke it there. try a conversation, if there chatty then chat with them. if there not then smoke your cig in peace or its okay to walk off then but try convo, its your payment for the smoke. outside other places work too, hang around outside walmart or even fast food joints. ppl smoke everywhere you can bum smokes by simply asking. less there down to like 3 smokes they will usualy give you one. if not they will usualy say "ah its my last one" or "i only got 1 left" which is usualy BS, there just bein stingy, but say thanks and go away.
thats all im gonna write. sorry its so long. hope it helps all you out who cant find your ID and want to buy smokes.
Apr 12, 2008 6:09 pm - I would like to point out that if you are not the target audience for this egg then ya it might not be helpful to you.
if your older, possess legal identification, or do not smoke/have no intrest in smoking then yes this egg will be worthless to you
if you are young however, contain no ID and wanting to start smoking and/or allredy smoke but have trouble buying smokes due to age/no id factor then this can be benificial.
if the egg doesnt apply to you try not to bitch and learn to read between the lines. Peace.
Apr 12, 2008 6:23 pm - we and a friend do this wen we get SKOAL and it works 95% of the time. we grow out our facial hair as much as possible and we go back to the places that sold it to us to begin with so they kinda know us so they wont ID us. good egg 5*
Apr 12, 2008 6:40 pm - heyy you deserve a six out of five for this. although these methods won’t work for me (they say i look way too young, even being six two doesn’t even make me look old enough). excellent work, you have helped many a young man on their way to cancer and alcholism. 5* even though i don’t really smoke or drink.
Apr 12, 2008 8:01 pm - doesnt really matta anyways. RE stold my egg points, dropped my egg and now i cant fuckin post another one for like 4 more days while i try to needlessly scrounge up another 50 egg points. i think my next egg is gonna be on the arrogance and stupidity that happens on this site daily.
Apr 12, 2008 8:15 pm - doesnt really matta anyways. RE stold my egg points, dropped my egg and now i cant fuckin post another one for like 4 more days while i try to needlessly scrounge up another 50 egg points. i think my next egg is gonna be on the arrogance and stupidity that happens on this site daily.
Apr 13, 2008 10:18 pm - possibly. however fake id can carry serious consequences if caught. as for someone eles buying them if you read the guide i already covered that
Edit Page
Message Firesale
Add Comment
Add to Favorites
Email to Friend
