DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME : Our text files and message bases are for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. DO NOT undertake any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site.We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
(113 votes) Published: May 24, 2008 10:18 p.m. In 12 Favorites Lists Viewed 1088 times
Hitchhiking Do’s and Dont’s
So, mommy took away your Ipood, or you’ve pissed off that dealer, and now you’vew got to leave.
Maybe you just feel like seeing the country for free, or enjoy meeting new people. Many different things lead people to hitchhike, but, as with everything in life, there are smart things to do, and dumb things to do. This guide should help you with some of the basics of hitchhiking and the life of a vagabond.
In this guide, we will cover the following:
Packing Where to hitch How to hitch Shelter and Food Tips and Tricks
I’ve specifically left out where to go, for the simple reason that thats purely up to you.
You may be like some people and plan out a specific route, or you may be like others and just go wherever you’re taken, either way is fine, and exceptionally fun.
First off, lets cover Packing
When you go out on a trip, you inevitablly throw a bunch of stuff into a suitcase, a backpack, a trunk or other carrying device. But when you’re hitchhiking, there are some things you NEED to bring, and others better left at home. When was the last time you saw a tree with a socket to plug your DVD player into? (fuck you Blu-ray.)
First off, the most important thing you need to bring is. . . SOCKS and SHOES.
Why socks and shoes you ask? Why not food or water? Because if your feet work, you can ALWAYS find food and water, and everything else you may need along your path. One of the worst enemies to a vagabond is boot rot. You’ve seen it before, and you’ve HAD it before. Even if you didn’t know what it was.
Ever sit in water too loing and see wrinkles on your fingers? This is the most basic form of boot rot.
When you have dirty wet socks, and don’t change them, your feet WILL swell and get infected. If this happens, there are a few ways to fix it, but you should NEVER get to the point where you ahve to as it takes away valuable time.
It’s best to wear comfortable hiking boots, or sneakers. But always bring a pair of waterproof shoes aswell, ’cause you ARE going to need them.
after socks, you need water.
Your body need four liters (roughly a gallon) a day just to survive. This amount drastically increases when you’re walking down the highway with thirty pounds of gear on your back in the blazing heat.
Try to carry atleast two liters with you at all times, and even if your bottle is NOT empty, never pass up a chance to fill it. You can also get free water at ANY fast food joint in north america, aswell as purifying you own.
A simple jerry rigged filter involves three pieces of cloth, some black charcoal (avoid white ashes) and an empty two liter jug.
Cut the bottom of the jug off, and stuff your first piece of cloth into it, make sure it is about one inch thick when it’s shoved in there. Next break yoru charcoal into as fine a powder as possible, and fill another four inches of the bottle with it. Next stuff the rest of your cloth in there. Now take that last piece of cloth, and stretch it over the bottom, and use some kind of tape or glue to stick it to the sides of the bottle, this keeps everything from falling out, while still allowing water to pass through. Now simply pour whatever water you ahve through the top, and catch it as it comes out the bottom. All you ahve to do now to make it safe to drink is boil it for ten minutes. Free pure water has never been simpler. (Evian backwards is Naive, and at $2.50 a bottle, I agree.)
Now you’re going to need some extra changes of clothes. Bring a few shirts, two short, and one long sleeved works for me. And pack an extra pair of pants in there aswell. Also bring a nice weather proof jacket, try to get one with a removable liner, as you can just wear it over whatever else you’re wearing without all the extra bulk of a layer of fuzz.
After you ahve clothes and all that jazz, roll up a nice waterproof WARM sleeping bag. I personally use a Swiss Gear one that fits PERFECTLY into my travel bag right at the bottom. Make sure it rolls up as small as physically possible, or else you’re going to run out of room fast.
I also like to carry a few salty snacks with me, as they are good for replacing lost electrolytes aswell as giving you much needed energy when you’re inbetween squatting spots.
Last but not least, carry with you some basic hygeine supplys. A brush, razor, toothbrush and paste, along with some shampoo work wonders when you’re trying to get someone to stop for you.
If you have any rooma fter that, throw in a book or two so you have something to do when you’re not on the road.
Pack all of this stuff as efficiantly as possible (don’t just chuck it in there retard) into a waterproof travel backpack. Anywhere from thirty to fifty liters of space works perfectly, but for weight issues try and limit yourself to 40 max. As a rule of thumb, you should never carry more then one third of your total weight on your back, or you’re just asking to look like this:
So now you have all your stuff packed, and are ready to hit the road.
Now all we have to do is figure out Where to hitch.
Walking out of your house and sticking your thumb out is not going to get you a ride, you may be tempted to sit on the side of an interstate and do it, but chances are you’re going to miss a LOT of people who would normally have stopped. Plus it’s dangerous, only do it as a last resort.
I find the best places to get rides are right at the end of an on-ramp. People are forced to slow down, and that gives me more time to potentially convince them I’m not going to murder them. . . while they’re driving (some people ahve the oddest fears). Make sure that any potential rides have a good spot to pull of the main road and stop safely, so that both you and the driver remain alive atleast long enough to start rolling again. Don’t bother trying to hitch inside a city or any decent sized town, because it’s almost futile. Sure you may get a ride after XXX amount of hours, but thats a waste if it takes you twenty minutes to bus or walk out to the edge of town to an onramp.
Before you get into that car or truck (truckers ROCK) make sure you have time to decide whether you feel safe with them or not. A car full of empties and three college guys? I’ll pass.
Well now mister traveller (or misses if you lack teh ballzorz), you’ve got your shit together, and are out on the shoulder just after an onramp. . . now what? Lets figure out How to hitchhike!
This is where the real fun begins. There are many ways to go about this part smartly, and many ways to make a complete ass of yourself. Everything from sticking your thumb in the air, to flashing oncoming traffic has gotten me rides in the past (I shit you not). Some work far more effective then others though. make sure you look PRESENTABLE, try to think of it as a low key job interview, be clean, keep your hair neat, and for the love of all god do NOT wear your blood red and tar black Cannibal Corpse shirt. Nothing says "pick me up" like a rotting corpse on your chest. Personally, I wear a pair of clean blue jeans, and a clean white shirt. There is debate about having a beard, or sunglasses when hitching, you’ll still get rides, but generally not the same ones you would without said crap. On top of everything, ALWAYS smile. ALWAYS! You have about fice seconds to convince the impending traffic that you are not out to kill or maim them, so be smart about it!
A great way to get a ride is to use a sign! Some people like to just write their destination on a piece of cardboard and stick that up, but many (including myself) prefer to have a little fun with it. infact, the day I wrote this, I got four hundred KM’s away from my city and back again, with four drivers, with a sign that simply said "SMILE =D".
I find leaving my destination off the cardboard gives me more options when approaching a stopped car. You can ask THEM where THEY are headed, which gives you time to asses whether or not you’ll feel safe with them or not. If you don’t like the way they look, just say something along the lines of "sorry, you’re not going far enough" and just leave it at that.
Get creative and funny with your signs, and you’ll find far more rides. One thats worked for me (AMAZINGLY) said "I won’t KILL you".
Vroom vroom! Some trucker or othe rmotorist picks you up, you drive away, make some small talk for a few hours, get to know them, and finally, are let off at your destination. . . I’m cold and hungry, if only I knew how to get some Food and Shelter! Well, lets get on that!
You can find shelter almost anywhere you look. Some safer then others, and some nicer then others too. I know of four very VERY nice squatting locations all within twenty minutes biking from me, including one with a full foilage hut, complete with a bed, shelf, and toilet. You may not be as lucky, so lets figure out what to do. You can get some really simple shelter by just looking around. Again, staying OUTSIDE of cities and towns makes this alot easier (and safer). See a trailer for sale? sleep under it. A broken in half tree? pile a bunch of leafy branchs on either side, and make yourself a makeshift tent! A nice little thing I carry around is a tarp. You can make almost ANYTHING out of one:
Tents or bivvysacks are also pretty sweet, but tend to take up precious space, and require more time to break camp. Being able to break camp fast may save you from some pissed off redneck, or some random animals stomach.
Once you have a nice shelter, it’s time to go out and explo-- *GURGLE* fuck. I’m hungry.
Food comes in many forms on the road, everything from having your ride buy you lunch, to trapping a rabbit and skinning it yourself. Since I’m a vegetarian, I have next to no experiance trapping animals, so I’ll tell you how I personally get MY food. In another egg I wrote about street living, you find many ways to get vast amounts of free food in cities, so I’ll focus on rural food. Know your plants. Even basic knowledge can feed you. Avoid mushrooms at all costs, unless you’re an expert, or don’t mind puking out your intestines before turning purple and exploding. Dandelion stocks make a damn tasty stew/soup (not city ones though, they taste liek fucking SHIT) also berries can be found all over the world, if you want to find out if a berry is poisonous, rub a bit of the juice on your upper gum and wait a few minutes, if it goes numb or tastes bitter, chances are it’s poison.
I’ve personally found trees full of fresh apples, pears, bushes of blueberries and other wonderful edibles right along side the highway. So look around and you never know what you may find. I also hear fishing works great, if you know how to clean a fish properly, and have the means to catch one.
So now you’re one happy camper (literally! You vagabond, all growed up.) You’ve got the basic knowledge of surviving alone on the road, of course you may be out in the snow or rain, but thats another egg! So I shall leave you with a few great tips I’ve picked up along the way.
"The greatest weapon is your mind"
If you’re smart, you’ll never have to use a knife against anyone, so befor eyou go all rambo on someones ass, try and talk your way out of it. a good way to get out of an unwanted ride, is to act liek you’re about to puke your guts out. If you hold your ass at the same time, they’ll THROW you out.
Never worry about cars that don’t pick you up. You’re not in a hurry, and if you ARE, then get the fuck off my roads.
Even if a car passes and does something vulgar (I matrixed a beer bottle once) don’t let it phase you, they’re already a mile down the road, and still pissy about whatever in there life sucks.
Let the driver see your hands at all times. Shoving them in your pocket can intimidate a great driver, and may cost you afew hundred miles down the road.
Take whats offered, but do not ask. I’ve had people hand me everything from a handful of weed, to $50, but don’t ASK for money or food, just realize that people in general are a lot nicer then the media makes them out to be.
Well thats about it! This covers basic solo hitchhiking, traveling with partners or dogs can be a whole different story. . . AND IT WILL BE! Look out for more hitchhiking/vagabonding/street life eggs from a MaxwellMURDER near you!
May 24, 2008 10:47 pm - You won’t regret it Mort,
it’s honestly the funnest thing i’ve ever done =P
even a simple day trip like today kicked massive ass
May 25, 2008 9:19 am - allso, about berries, try not to eat red colored beries, unless you are absolutely sure they are not poisonous, most black/blue colored beries arent poisonous, but you should still check.
May 26, 2008 7:51 pm - This was surprisingly a really good egg. I saw the title and thought this will just be another shitty egg made by some new member. (I didn’t connect "MM" with "MaxwellMurder" #41; Nice job.
I go by MM on the road, so I’ve been using it alot lately
also, if you liked this make sure to check out my profile and read y egg on living on the streets for more info on the hobo lifestyle
by the way, just to make things clear, Im a tramp by choice. I always have some home to go back too. infact I have TWO really nice homes.
but nothing NOTHING beats seeing the northern lights while youre in the middle of no where with nothing but some camping shit, a good friend (in this case, i travel with a girl named Kat) And a case of MGD.
May 30, 2008 4:35 am - Ii would have to say if you are packing books, pack a book that has picture and de5criptions of useful/harmful plant life, they don’t usually cost that much, and should be a key ingredient to almost any first aid kit... which is also something I would advise packing...
Critiquing aside I loved this egg, I would call it a prank but it is a great solution for if your prank goes haywire. 5* and favs I can’t wait to read more.
Jun 13, 2008 7:52 pm - Very nice, very nice. Highly detailed, well written, pictures included. Five stars. Oh, and don’t forget your towel! (Oh come on, you know someone had to make that reference)
Edit Page
Message MaxwellMURDER
Add Comment
Add to Favorites
Email to Friend
