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Everyone thinks that they are special, but as it should be obvious that is wrong. However, with focus and a great deal of not sucking you might just make it...
So you consider yourself an internet god do you? Does that mean that you live the dream? Is the world your oyster? Well regardless of how many trolls you slay on W.o.W. and how many “pwning” posts you make on the various forums you troll the sad truth is that you aren’t even on level with a warm pile of shit. But do not despair; things are not as bleak as they seem…there is still chance that you can lead an epic life.
First thing, look at yourself in the mirror and say “I am special and of value to society, my ideas can help others and I will be an asset to humanity.” Once you manage to swallow that load you can proceed.
STEP ONE: Go the fuck outside!
Despite what you think simulated reality will never compare with the real things. Since you are reading this it is obvious that you are online…the first step to have an epic life is to get the fuck of the computer and join the rest of humanity outside…
Welcome back, I suppose it was too much to assume that you would wait and finish reading this before you started. I know you are excited but remember BABY STEPS! There are certain things you have to be prepared for in advance…
Speaking: Yeah talking leet online makes you cool, but if you try that in real life you are going to look like a bigger asshole thatn you already are.
A bath: Clean yourself up....sure you can eat all the Fritos you want and get yourself all crummy...but in real life this ins’t gonna fly very far. At the very least you are going to draw bugs
Clothes: Yeah sure, everyone likes playing Halo naked…but when you go outside it would be nice for everyone around you if you were clothed.
The Sun: That big yellow thing in the sky (no, don’t actually look up) is called the sun. It’s very important to life on Earth and hopefully if you go outside it might be kind enough to give you a tan.
Other People: The key to an epic life is the ability to deal with other people. As a general rule other people tend to suck, but there are exceptions to every rule…like that cute girl over there…
Sep 16, 2008 6:43 am - Get a job. Cooking hamburgers and filling out online surveys doesn’t count. You won’t have time to commit crimes or play online games. And if you have ever postponed or canceled activities in real life to make time for online games, that should be a cry for help.
Sep 24, 2008 12:33 am - This is fucking ridiculous. I stopped coming to this site months ago because of bullshit like this. GMT you have been a fucking retard since you started at this site with you fagot ass pick pocketing eggs. I decide to check back to see if the rotten eggs community has gotten back to the basics and rebuilt itself yet, and this is the bullshit I find. This egg deserves a 0, and nothing better. Fuckers that create eggs like this, and retards that rate eggs like this decently are the reason so many people have given up on this site.
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