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How to COOL at a party
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(70 votes)
Published: Nov 04, 2002 12:00 a.m.
In 2 Favorites Lists
Viewed 644 times

Now I know alot of you already know how to be cool. (Like Em and Pooper) But parties is where you pull the chicks. The biggest mistake ppl make is in thinking that you need to be invited or know somebody at the party, nothing could be further from the truth. Infact it is considered very cool if you crash a party, especially if you bring 20 of your friends. Secondly everybody thinks you should have a shower before going to the party. WRONG! don’t have a shower for about a week. This way ppl will really notice you.

One thing to remember is that condoms are out. Its much safer,cheaper and romantic to use a mars bar wrapper.

The first thing you must do when you get to the party is start drinking all the alcohol as quick as can. Secondly you must take control of the CD player and put of a death metal CD. This is the part were you and your buddys start slam dancing. Dont forget to bounce into and rub up some chicks. You can tell it they really like you if they slap you in the face, kick you in the crackers or call you a jerk. With any luck all that fast drinking and dancing will allow you and your friends to simultaneity throw up all over everybody and everything. Theres nothing that turns on a woman more than the smell of a man emptying his stomach onto the TV, kitch bench or even their parents(but I don’t recommend this the parents maybe turned on as well).

Now your only problem is the other men which you should not have any trouble if you are the proud owner of a punk onion and bee hive. If you have a hippy onion use him as a decoy. Let the other men beat up the hippy onion while you are slipping out the door with all the women. Dont worry about the hippy onion he will be to stoned and drunk to feel any pain.

Ok now you are ready. Go out there and get them women.

Long live Onion Army! 		 
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bigcheese-2382
Dec 20, 2004 8:03 pm -
hey! im a hippy and im vaguely offended. nice egg tho, i think ill move in...


Metz
Jun 16, 2005 4:04 pm -
that condom thing you said WAS HILARIOUS.


rebel_rock
Jan 24, 2006 7:06 pm -
dude i go to the jocks parties wit like thirty of my friends and we skate everything possible in there hous kitchen tables etc. we film it all and drink beer bust windows have fun get in tons of fights


EXOTICDON
Mar 20, 2006 12:13 pm -
lol..funny...
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