So you want to sue a telemarketer?
'It’s the Touch Tone Terrorists!' 
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(47 votes)
Published: Jan 24, 2005 8:36 p.m.
Viewed 546 times |
Here goes: The telepesterers pretty much leave me alone, thanks to this gadget. But, here’s a simple way to make some money from the telepesterers that invade your telephone.
Use Microsoft Word or some other word processor, and make up a flyer. Use a really big ont, and center justification, like this:
H-DOGG TELESERVICES CONSULTING
Fast Service, Reasonable Rates
(phone number here)
Use your own name, dumbass, and use center justification. Print several copies, preferably on colored paper. Post them on the bulletin board at the grocery store, on utility poles, etc. Put a copy in an envelope and mail it to yourself. When it arrives, do not open it; you might need it later. If you live somewhere that doesn’t have municipal zoning, go ahead and incorporate your business. Note the word "teleservices." It seems the telepesterers are ashamed of the word "telemarketing," and have made up a new one.
Now, wait for a telepesterer to call. Keep them on the line. Act interested, and complement them on their abilities, like controlling the conversation, speaking clearly and pleasantly, etc., and ask to speak to the manager. Tell the manager you were impressed with the caller, and would like to send a commendation. Hopefully, you will get a mailing address. Even if you don’t, you have Caller ID, don’t you? Only law enforcement and bill collectors can legally "spoof" Caller ID, making their call look like one from Grandma. If you have the number, go to http://www.anywho.com and do a reverse lookup.
Now you have a mailing address. Go back to Word or whatever, and make a template with your logo in the header. Put in stuff like "Consultation," with the date and time of their call, and your critique. Make a bill for $100.00, and send it to them, with "Accounts Payable" in the first address line, the telepesterer company name in the second line, followed by the street address, city, state, and ZIP (postal) code. Mail them the bill and wait two weeks. They’ll probably ignore it. Send another bill, adding the phrase "Second Notice" to the bill and envelope. Eventually, you’ll get a letter, which will say something like, "We don’t owe you this money because we don’t know who the hell you are."
That’s when you sue them in small claims court. And you will win, if you can prove you were in business, offering "teleservices consultation" at the time of their call. You do this with your flyers at the store, and with your articles of incorporation you filed with your local government. And for the final blow, you bring in the flyer you mailed to yourself, and open it for the judge to see. The postmark date on the sealed envelope proves you were in business before that date. This is also a good way to date original artwork and writing. |
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 | Jan 24, 2005 9:12 pm -
nice h dog 1 of your best eggs yet |
 | Jan 24, 2005 11:10 pm -
"Ingeious" |
 | an 25, 2005 1:10 pm -
^^^^^^ |
 | Jan 25, 2005 7:09 pm -
I would also get a business lisence before you started your "services". That way your business is a legal and validated one. Good egg |
 | Jan 25, 2005 9:45 pm -
Nice. A really good egg. 5’d. One of the best. |
| Jan 25, 2005 9:45 pm -
Nice. A really good egg. 5’d. One of the best. |
 | Feb 05, 2005 1:30 am -
Have you DONE this? And how much did you get? Or how much does someone you know that did this get? |
 | Feb 13, 2005 9:47 pm -
http://privatecitizen.com book.htm
Alternatively, when they call, ask to be put on the DO Not Call lit, which Federal (US) law requires them to maintain. If they tell you it may take weeks to be put on the Do Not Call list, remind them that if they call again, you intend to enter into a contract to get their product or service, and not pay for it. This is legal because the law does not recognize the need for a waiting period for the Do Not Call list, and because it’s illegal for them to call after you ask to be put on the list, and any contract that directly stems from an illegal act is unenforceable. I have done this, and gotten free newspaper sub5criptions, and free chemical fertilizer on my lawn. |
 | Feb 24, 2005 8:21 pm -
haha thats ingenious
my dad bitched so bad at a telemarketer last night,
i was all the way upstairs and i could hear something about "call again, ill report you" or something? |
 | Mar 06, 2005 3:48 pm -
Absolutely the best egg i have seen for at least 2 weeks now.Very good job.You also had a nice picture to go with it. Definatly a 5 |
 | Mar 07, 2005 6:59 pm -
cool |
| Dec 18, 2005 8:13 am -
You should write a book, man. |
| Jul 30, 2006 12:32 am -
Quote: You should write a book, man.
No one would read it. |
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