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Message Trent-6441
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Jun 29, 2005 12:31 am - Cheating: The other perspective
NOTE: I don’t need relationship therapy...
This is what I feel. Deal with it.


I’m only 21 years old. Plenty of time left in life to find a chick that has a harmonic balance of nympho and housewife. Up until recently I had been with this girl (Britney). We were together for 2 years (Not that long... but apparently long enough she thought we were going to be exclusive until beyond the second coming of Christ.) I still have genuine love for her... but I’ve come to an understanding with myself.

I met this other cutie "Kayleigh" on 4/20. Now... let’s just say... she’s got it going on. Everything.

Math Lesson:
Stale Relationship
- Stale Relationship
------------ -----------
Whatever the fuck I want to do

Oh... and for the record, "Stale Relationship" does NOT mean the sex wasn’t good. Matter of fact... it was great.

SO whatever whatever.... I ended up spending enough time with Kayleigh that it seemed like I had known her forever. And she made me feel good. Actually, "Alive, Single, and Fucking A Lovin it" is more the phrase. I didn’t fuck her or anything and still haven’t. But I did travel a few bases. And you know what? Surprisingly... I’m content.

I found myself falling farther away from Britney and more into, "Oh... what’s Kayleigh up to today?"
She put a carnival right in the middle of my routine.
And I looked forward to the next time I would have the pleasure of her company. She made me smile every time.

Confusion eventually set in and I found myself wondering...
1. Why do I think about Kayleigh so much
2. Am I wrong for feeling this way
3. Did Britney do something wrong to influence how I feel
4. How am I going to handle this situation

Yeah. Me and Britney were together for awhile... but during that time I’d picked apart what I do and don’t like about her (As I’m sure she has done to me). And when the blade hit the stone... it came down to the cons out-weighed the pros. And when Kayleigh locked eyes with me and gave me that initial kiss... mentally it was extremely easy to swallow. And physically... she made me want to stick it to her in the worst way.

Before you go and damn me to hell and what have you... hear me out. I’m sure you can relate. And if not... I envy you.

I hooked up with Britney initially because I wanted to fuck her since the first time I ever laid eyes on her. The only way she’d put out was if I was her man. So me and her got to know each other and when opportunity arose... I struck. So we hooked up and I fucked her good. Over the course of the next few months I actually found myself liking her for more than the sex. She had become a legitimate girlfriend for legitimate reasons. How bizarre. Even more bizarre... I gave myself up and tuned my life in a manner to how it would better please her. Pleasing her had become the center of my life. I had become how many would put it, "pussy whipped". I call it doing everything and anything for someone you believe is worth the investment in the long run.
One year later...Goodbye friends, social life, and independence. I’m gonna give settling down a shot for a change. A little conjoined effort action.
BIG MISTAKE. I know... I know... , "Buds before bitches", but when it comes down to
"Your friends just want to party and fuck around and this chick wants you to do something with your life and wants to be a major part of that"... it’s hard to say "Amen". And I’m just now starting to pick up the pieces, fit them together, and see results.

Britney didn’t put a gun to my head and say, "You have to give up everything for me." It was my choice. But that’s essentially how it felt. I felt I had to give it my all if I wanted her. And I didn’t need anything in the way to risk fucking this up. And she didn’t object either.

After a year with her I noticed I felt different. And underneath it all... I was depressed. Mainly over regret. It’s funny how when I read books about drug use they noted that people sometimes use drugs as an "escape". I used to scoff and think how ridiculous that sounded. How about a vacation or just stop doing whatever it is that’s bothering you? But you know... sometimes it’s just not that easy. And I wanted my friends back. I wanted my social life back. And I wanted my independence back. Doing things I wanted to... solely for me... and not having to worry about how Britney felt about it. And even though she wasn’t feeling too hot about my new found desires and would rather have me on drugs and depressed... I didn’t want to hurt her either. The monotany of this relationship had set in, "Love" was a part of my daily vocabulry, and I saw no way out.

Now that you know I’m not a cold-hearted bastard....

Enter Kayleigh.
Everything Britney would say NO to... Kayleigh was game.
Everything Britney would say Yes to... it wouldn’t even be an issue with Kayleigh... she was already there.
For every 1 compliment Britney would throw at me... Kayleigh had 5 coming right at me.
And the best part is... I don’t need to be committed in return.
She constantly shows me I’m appreciated and desired.
Britney I guess figured that since I’d gone this far... we’d be forever no matter what. She guessed wrong.

I broke up with her. We’re still friends. We still fuck. But now... I’m happy. I made a mistake and thankfully my friends were forgiving.

I’ve learned to not CHEAT on myself. You’re only young once. And let’s face it... it’s foolish to commit to anything before all your options are on the table and you can point out amongst all...what it is and say, "That’s what I want". Thanks to Kayleigh, I got the fire back behind my eyes. And I’m ready to fucking party.

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-- REPLIES --

Redzion
 Jun 29, 2005 2:03 am -
one word...wow

xX_PsYcHo_Xx
 ec 02, 2005 10:49 pm -
All i got to say is WOW! u really spilled your guts to show everyone how u feel! good work i wish i had a friend good enough like Kaleigh that could find all my strengths and forget my weaknesses like that...
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