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(53 votes) Published: Apr 02, 2005 8:33 p.m. In 3 Favorites Lists Viewed 2431 times
A prankster encyclopedia
By Chaos Knight
Table of Contents:
I: Tips of not getting caught
II Basics of pranking
III General pranks
a. ding-dong-ditch
b. egging
c. around school
d. cars
e. scaring
f. prank calls
g. TP-ing
IV: Specialized pranks and death pranks
a. pyrotechnics
b. electricity
c. cars
d. deaths
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HOW TO NOT GET CAUGHT
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1. Annoyances: some major annoyances with ding dong ditch are large, well lit windows, dogs, lingerers, and motion-sensor floodlights, and snow.
Windows are more annoying in the day, and are a major monkey wrench if the window is in the way of your escape route. They are less dangerous at night, but may still be disadvantageous at the home of an old, lonely fat, couch potato watching Comedy Central’s Secret Stash. Try perfecting the “squat & dash”, or navigate and find another rout in the other direction.
Dogs: I really can’t help you with a dog on the inside, but a dog behind a fence which you have to deal with, well, I have a few tips. If you know the house has a dog, carry a backpack stuffed with bread, dog treats, and hotdogs. If you are doing this to make the dog/owners next day hell, inject the hotdogs with laxatives to ensure it spends it’s next day or so crapping around the house. Cruel, unusual, and for use on enemies.
Lingerers: People who linger near the window for no particular reason. They often are in second story windows, making them harder to see, and have a better range of vision, and can track your hiding spots. ALWAYS check the windows for excessive movement and silhouettes of people.
Motion Sensing Floodlights: Mostly above Garages to light the way for cars so as not to crash, they are a major plot-foiler to pranksters because it shows if the perpetrator left in the direction of the light. I suggest you stake out three hours early with a bb gun and shoot out the light, or just do a loop around the light. The former will eliminate the light problem, if no one replaces the bulb, but always remember to pick up the bb after you do it. The latter is less destructive, but more conspicuous.
Snow is among the worst, because it leaves footprints, excellent for tracking down the perpetrator. Also, bad for the prankster because he could be questioned of his wet clothing. My suggestion: DON’T PRANK IN THE GODDAMN SNOW!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Section II: Basic tips for pranks
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Always have a good hiding place. A bush 2 feet from the door that’s 3 feet tall with 51 needles is not good. A pine tree within easy sprinting distance that’s thicker than…uh…something…really thick is good. A close, high but jumpable fence is even better. Buy toilet paper and large quantities of eggs from different stores, 2 cases at a time. Not every store working person is of South Park-grade smartness. *67 is your FRIEND. School pranks are only recommended for last day of 8th grade grand finales.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------SECTION III: GENERAL PRANKS
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The general pranks are best done at night, as are most pranks, because of most people being asleep. Of course, if you’re like me, you have some pissant of a neighbor who makes it his duty to stay up late and make your pranking life hell. He will come outside and wait for you so he can grab you, beat on you, and force you to confess what you did. The best defense against these pissy neighbors are to 1: wait until very late (2 AM) [forced for me] or 2: if you live in a house that is suitable for this, or even better in the summer, sneak out the back door and sneak around the other side of the house he lives on, I can’t do this easily, because my parents would hear my footsteps crunching in the frozen grass during the winter, since their bedroom is right bordering the backyard. But I digress, on to the pranks.
A: Ding Dong Ditch
Ding dong ditch is a variation of ringing a victim’s doorbell and running away. This is simple, but is also very dangerous to do, as many people (like me) rush to the door as soon as they hear the chime, and does not always give ample time to scuttle away. Dogs and windows also make this prank more noticeable, as if the owner is a psycho, or has been pranked many, many times in the past, may release the dogs and may catch you, and if they still don’t get you your other neighbors may hear the ruckus and rat you out. If the dogs catch you, but you still get away, serious buggers might track your DNA from your blood from the bite, or even worse, from the doorbell.
Ding dong ditch is the most variated prank, as many pranksters prefer to hide in a tree and shoot the victim with a paintball or airsoft gun. Also common is peeing in a milk carton and leaning it against the door. Some committed pranksters choose to modify the doorbell to make it ring without end.
B: Egging
Egging is common among suburbs, and is chucking some farm-fresh (or store bought) eggs at a house, and is most effective on painted houses, since egg yolk and whites are an effective paint remover. Egging is most times a combo prank used in conjunction with TP-ing a house or tree.
The prank-committed often perform this prank with a twist, using a medical syringe to inject crap like food coloring and bleach (!) into the egg, to add a dab of color or a noxious fume to their work. Be sure to put the eggshells somewhere they won’t be found.
Around school: Some great pranks are best performed at school, for example, if you’re into sick humor, sneak into school a few days after it closes, and put mealworms in the cafeteria chowder. Put crickets/bunnies loose in the school, and let them do the floppy hop, and see the chaos at the new year. If you just want to prank for the pain/fun value, line up salt in the bathroom and wait for some ass to think “Holy shit, crack!” and get a nosebleed. Make a few cherry bombs (you find out, I have references.) and tie the wicks together, then put them next to a lit candle, then go away. In about three minutes they will blow up, taking out the wood, tiles and probably a limb of whoever is near. If you’re in it for sheer annoyance, put glue in the toilet seats. Not many schools have cameras, but a few (like mine, mostly private schools) do, and often ruins the fun. Most school pranks are best done in the bathroom, where MOST schools (even those with cameras) don’t have them in bathrooms, a few military schools and rehabs might, to keep kids from shooting LSD into their ball sack…but not most. Not very big risk of being caught.
Scaring: Not a very specific topic, so it won’t be long. Old people are most fun to scare, but also the most dangerous, and the most life-haunting. If you are too good at scaring, you could give anyone 60+ years of age a heart attack, and then you would have it haunting you for the rest of your life. If you try scaring a new house, and you have no freaking idea who lives there, try to not be too scary (hold off on the Grim Reaper costume on the first try) but scary enough to get a kick out of it. Try to have a quick escape rout, and a good mask. Remember, some rednecks will get their shotguns!
Prank calling: You know this, it’s another of the most variated pranks out there, but hey, there’s not much to variated on. You basically dial some drip, and for the pussies, hang up and giggle like a fag, for the normal people, say something in a scary voice, or like me, dial at 3 AM, and then copy from some scary movie, the “Ring around the rosy” beat Na na na na na naaa! And if you think you’ve got the biggest balls on the block, plan ahead, disconnect all but one of their phones, and say “Before you die…you see the ring. *click* “A favorite is take it from Tommy Tutone: call 867-5309. Ask for Jenny. Heheh.
Toilet Papering: Simple…so it seems. Just grab a lot of toilet paper and throw it around their house. Simple, right? FUCK NO!! First of all, a lot of morons don’t even know how to do it, so they just chuck big wrapped rolls. You have to hold the end so it streams. Aim for the trees right before a rainstorm. But be VERY careful. Too early and it’ll alert the people you’re TPing to blast yo cracka ass.
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Specialized pranks: Pyro and death.
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Pyrotechnics: Hey rookie, stick to smoke bombs and pipe cleaners. Look it up. I’m only putting in 2 of the most basic pyro stuff.
MOLOTOV COCKTAILS: WWII weapons then,. Kick ass diversions now. Fill a beer bottle with gasoline and soak a rag in kerosene. Stuff the rag in the bottle, light it and throw it. Badda bing, badda KA-FSHEWW!!!
Pipe Cleaner bomb: Get a sheet of aluminum foil. Make it into a snake thing. Stuff it in a bottle of pipe cleaning fluid. Shake it and RUN LIKE YOUR FUCKING N00B ASS DEPENDS ON IT, because it does.
Unwrap a bunch of those party snappers that go on the 4th of July, pour the powder in a paper towel, and then wrap the towel and throw it at something. Big bang.
Electricity: Eh, I’m not too good on that subject. Drill a hole in a light bulb and put some gun powder in there. Or put some aluminum foil in the electric socket and screw in the bulb. Turn on the light.
Cars: Hey, that’s 100% illegal. Count me out, my friend. All I know is that a coat hanger or a slim Jim can open a lock. Buy a copy of the Worst Case scenario handbook if you want to know how to hotwire a car. I plan to stay out of jail until I’m 21, and I’m just trying to keep you out too. Aw, what to I care, go to jail.
Deaths: Oh shit, you actually killed somebody. Maybe you threw that snapper at someone, maybe you heart attack’d them, maybe you shot them, but oh shit, you killed them. I suggest you go to confession (lucky Jews and atheists, being Catholic sucks.) hide the body, and leave the country. Burn whatever you killed them with, like the gorilla mask or the piano wire, or maybe the piano or the gorilla. Burn it. Grow a beard, leave the country, and open a blacksmiths. Or turn yourself in. Whichever.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Only www.rotteneggs.com and myself are allowed to use this. God, forgive me for writing this, I do not intend to try this. Listerine, go lick your dad’s teat and suck your mom’s balls.
Sep 05, 2005 9:21 pm - This is NOT too long. lazy ass ppl. From now on, Chaosknight, you should only spend i guess, i dunno, only 3 little days on your articles or something.
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