Calling all members of RE, read this shit.
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Normal Egg
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 7:48 p.m. - Subject: Calling all members of RE, read this shit. |
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This was copied by me from http://pissedoff.com/archive/suspended.shtml
This is some stupid fucking shit. I can’t beleive the stupidity of these parents and school officials. This is unbelievible
Student Suspended For Threatening To Detonate Large Bomb
by Steven Martin Cohen
With rising mayhem in schools lately, people are beginning to take casual threats of violence more seriously. Students are smuggling knives, guns, and even homemade bombs into school, and outraged communities are demanding something be done to curtail the rising violence. Both school officials and law enforcement authorities are being notified more frequently about potential threats to student bodies by antisocial elements, and a sophisticated network of snitches is developing to keep a watchful finger on the pulse of troubled youths waiting for the slightest excuse to go on rampages of death and destruction. While increased vigilance is certainly called for, many think the paranoia went a little overboard when a Long Island junior high school student was suspended for threatening to detonate a hydrogen bomb in the auditorium.
FBI, ATF, and Nassau County police officials acted swiftly, searching the student’s house for bombs or bomb making equipment. While the boy’s room turned up a butterfly collection, numerous toys and video games, a rather large cache of baseball cards, plastic models of World War ll airplanes, several Tom Clancy novels, and a Playboy magazine stuffed behind a radiator, the basement yielded a veritable bonanza of useful tools including assorted screws and nails in labeled jars, a hammer, screwdrivers, a 1/3 horsepower reversible electric hand drill, and a Sears 54-piece English-metric socket driver set. All materials have been confiscated for forensic analysis in the Federal crime lab in Virginia.
When Nuclear Regulatory Commission and Pentagon officials were asked whether the seized materials could be useful in building a hydrogen bomb, they simply said that the matter would be reviewed by a special task force being set up to investigate the incident. One Pentagon official carefully examined the Miss August centerfold, then shook his head in disgust. "One mustn’t be too careful in these uncertain times," he warned. "India and Pakistan are prime examples of the problems we Americans face in this administration and all those to come. Weapons of mass destruction can be very destructive in the wrong hands."
The thirteen year-old boy, whose name is being withheld due to his age, is presently being questioned by Federal, State, and local authorities in an effort to learn the precise nature of his intentions. Then he will be turned over to a state hospital for a mandatory thirty day observation period by psychiatrists and other mental health specialists.
The boys parents seemed flabbergasted when they learned their son planned to blow up the school auditorium using a hydrogen bomb. While incensed that atomic bomb construction could be taught in eighth grade general science, their primary concern was whether any teachers or students would have been present during the alleged detonation. The student’s general science teacher denied ever teaching her class how to build atomic bombs, then went on to say she really didn’t know the first thing about physics -- atomic or otherwise. She is being suspended with pay until her ignorance of science can be fully substantiated. The boy’s parents are being held for questioning, and social workers have already been assigned to determine whether the child should be permanently separated from the harmful environment of his home.
When asked where a boy might get the uranium and plutonium to construct a thermonuclear device, the Superintendent of Schools was ready with an answer. "Why -- the internet, of course. You can get pornography from the internet -- why not plutonium? I even heard you can make uranium from canary seeds. They download all kinds of formulas from that internet these days, and, speaking as an educator of thirty-five years’ distinguished experience, I can safely affirm that all knowledge students acquire must be limited, and we think we are doing a good job towards that end. Careful monitoring of what students think and learn in modern times is our primary objective."
New York’s education czar used even more poignant language. "Students are very sophisticated these days. They see movies and television and have unlimited access to the internet, pornography, and drugs. Thirty years ago it was unthinkable that a student would know anything about warp drive or time travel. Now they know all about these advanced scientific concepts. Threats of violence, thermonuclear or otherwise, must be taken very seriously -- not just for the social wellness of society, but for the mental wellness of the said student in question. Perhaps the American taxpayer is finally ready for newer and more ambitious awareness enhancement programs to raise student values and sensitivity to life."
Outraged parents don’t want rhetoric though, and they demand that school officials keep atomic bombs out of the schools. In a recent PTA meeting it was suggested that school taxes pay for metal detectors to keep these devices off school property. Authorities refused to comment as to whether a metal detector might detect a hydrogen bomb being smuggled into a junior high school by a disgruntled student. A high energy particle physicist at Fermi Labs slowly and cautiously stated, "I am almost certain that the average metal detector would probably detect the proximity of the average thermonuclear device, statistically speaking." The problem is being studied carefully.
On the promise of anonymity, friends told authorities that the student in question didn’t get the lead role in the upcoming school production of Hamlet, and this might be what prompted such an irresponsible remark. The education czar lamented, "It is a sad day for education when a student threatens to blow up school property with a hydrogen bomb. Perhaps we should reconsider exposing students to Shakespeare, also. This boy must have been very upset, and had he executed his plan, many people could have been injured. I heartily commend all those courageous persons who brought this to our attention."
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'Po'
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 7:50 p.m. - Subject: |
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Crazy, Crazy World!
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Normal Egg
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 7:55 p.m. - Subject: |
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seriously, a hydrogen bomb Quote from superintendent
"From my knowlegde, a student could easily conceal a hydrogen bomb in their backpack"
Not an actual quote but he is a dumbass, hydro bombs are huge and not even Po could make one of them.
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'Po'
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 7:57 p.m. - Subject: |
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lol! Imagine walking cross the road with a backpack full of bombs and a shotgun hangen out of your pocket. The superintendate probably hates the student....
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'Po'
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 7:57 p.m. - Subject: |
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And he could of said pipebomb instead of a hydogen bomb lol
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Power Egg
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AIM YIM
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 8:04 p.m. - Subject: |
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what a bunch of morons
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Power Egg
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 8:10 p.m. - Subject: |
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Quote: Perhaps we should reconsider exposing students to Shakespeare, also. |
Master Egg
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 8:15 p.m. - Subject: |
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omg what a fagget he didnt get a to be the lead role in hamlet so he threatened to blow up the school w/ a hydrogen bomb and got caught .
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'Po'
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 8:17 p.m. - Subject: |
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And the posiion was passed!
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 10:12 p.m. - Subject: |
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damn that funked up
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Power Egg
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 11:19 p.m. - Subject: |
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This article was not written by any trained journalist; I suspect it’s a hoax.
For instance, journalists don’t use emotional de5criptions to describe one’s actions. Instead of:
The boys parents seemed flabbergasted when they learned their son planned to blow up the school auditorium using a hydrogen bomb.
It’d be more like:
The boy’s parents expressed shock and surprise when told their son planned to detonate a hydrogen bomb in the school auditorium.
Notice the corrected punctuation, and the active verb expressed instead of seemed.
Try detonate instead of blow up.
Note the "Superintentent of Schools," "general sciences teacher," and "Education czar (sic)" (if such a position even exists) are not named.
I don’t suppose this article came in your inbox, with instructions to forward it to everybody you know?
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'Po'
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 11:20 p.m. - Subject: |
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^^This is our personal RE detective!
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Power Egg
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 11:22 p.m. - Subject: |
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Don’t click on those links, I was aiming for the
Also, the results of searching a suspect’s home are never given in full detail in a news article.
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Power Egg
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AIM
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 11:22 p.m. - Subject: |
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Quote: FBI, ATF, and Nassau County police officials acted swiftly, searching the student’s house for bombs or bomb making equipment. While the boy’s room turned up a butterfly collection, numerous toys and video games, a rather large cache of baseball cards, plastic models of World War ll airplanes, several Tom Clancy novels, and a Playboy magazine stuffed behind a radiator, the basement yielded a veritable bonanza of useful tools including assorted screws and nails in labeled jars, a hammer, screwdrivers, a 1/3 horsepower reversible electric hand drill, and a Sears 54-piece English-metric socket driver set. All materials have been confiscated for forensic analysis in the Federal crime lab in Virginia.
is it just me or is that describing a NORMAL KIDS ROOM!!!!!!!!
lol
wtf is going wrong with poeple today....sheesh
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'Po'
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Member Lvl: 101
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 11:24 p.m. - Subject: |
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Thats true! Large virioty of baseball cards! This kids gonna get sent to jail with those things.
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 11:53 p.m. - Subject: |
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damn that sounds alot like me................lol
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'Po'
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 11:55 p.m. - Subject: |
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Your going to jail Rambo!
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Power Egg
Member Lvl: 10
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AIM
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 11:57 p.m. - Subject: |
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HA
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Power Egg
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| Posted: Jun 12, 2005 11:58 p.m. - Subject: |
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lol that shits haggard, lucky its in america =)
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'Po'
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| Posted: Jun 13, 2005 12:32 a.m. - Subject: |
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Yeah were in Australia, Nothing to worry about!
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