to kill a mockingbird
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Normal Egg
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 6:09 p.m. - Subject: to kill a mockingbird |
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I need to kill 3 mockingbirds, and does anyone know which household poisons work best? The birds have been keeping me up for 6 weeks now and I’ve tried 4 weeks in a row unsucessfully shooting them dead. I’ve shot about 15 other birds though.
Any suggestions? Ammonia perhaps? (I have alot of cleaning ammonia on hand)
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Power Egg
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AIM YIM
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 6:14 p.m. - Subject: |
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Well you could put up a bird feeder with rat poison.I hear it was a sin to kill mockingbirds.
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Power Egg
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BLOCKED, EXPIRES Oct 06, 2008
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 6:35 p.m. - Subject: |
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Master Egg
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 6:38 p.m. - Subject: |
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Power Egg
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 6:41 p.m. - Subject: |
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Normal Egg
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 6:45 p.m. - Subject: |
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i’m thinking chainsaw...
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'For Them Admin'
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 6:46 p.m. - Subject: |
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It’s more than a sin, read this, you’ll be surprised I’m sure.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_it_illegal_to_kill_a_mockingbird
But if you still insist on killing it, here are some ways to do it.
You know the mockingbird. Now all you need is to choose how you will kill it.
Gun: This is rather simple: point and shoot. but you’ll miss since they ar efast
Cannon: Almost nearly the same as the prior, only with a cannon.
Bazooka: Also as prior, but much more entertaining.
Knife: This is only recommended if you’re suicidal.
Cat: Purchase a cat. Release it. Expect a lot of dead birds, as well as mice.
Fire: Burn down the tree the mockingbird’s nest is in.
Sudden Fatal Expansion of the Cerebrum: Teach the mockingbird the basics of fractions and division, like math, math, and math. Then teach the mockingbird that math. Once it begins to ponder the statement, the mockingbird’s head will explode with a slight *poof*.
Note: This method is not effective on smart mockingbirds, as they already know mathematics, as well as the fact that math.
Boredom: Make the mockingbird read Das Kapital by Karl Marx. Not only is the book a long and boring condemnation of capitalism, it’s also written in 19th century German.
Poisonous Gas: Although very, very illegal (and a war crime), this method is very effective. Well, not really. It’s actually hard to get a canister of mustard gas, even if you mix it yourself. It’s even harder to throw the canister within a couple of feet of the mockingbird’s nest without alerting the mockingbird and giving away your position. Don’t even bother.
Hurricane: This method, in fact also sucks. Not only is it difficult to flap your arms hard enough to create 100 mph winds, but also to aim a hurricane at a simple mockingbird.
Tornado: This is even worse than a hurricane. Just screw it.
Brutality: HP, LP, HP, BLK, LK, HK, HK, LK, HK, LP, HP. This often results in the total spontaneous explosion of the mockingbird’s body.
Vindictive footware: Mockingbirds have shown susceptibility to vindictive footware, especially stilleto’s.
Using A Russian Russians and Mocking Birds are natural enemies and so when they see each other they will instantly fight to the death.
Thermonuclear Device: This method is highly recommended. It regarded as the most effective way to totally annihilate a mockingbird. It is also rather easy to perform also because all you need is a thermonuclear device and six weeks of training in piloting an airplane. If thermonuclear devices are too expensive or hard for you to obtain, however, saying the words "Zeeky Boogy Doog" will cause an H-bomb to suddenly explode. The downside? You too will die in the explosion.
Good luck.
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Master Egg
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 7:18 p.m. - Subject: |
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Another method is to sacrifice 40 goats, and hum and screech jibberish about summoning meteors, and a meteor will strike the bird down.
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Normal Egg
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 7:19 p.m. - Subject: |
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I’ve already tried shooting them, pellet guns simply don’t have the range and I can’t use my .22lr due to the fact any missed bullet will land 400-600 yards downrange right in the middle if a very densely populated apartment complex.
I would use my shotgun if the ear-shattering blast couldn’t be heard all over the city crawling with cops (Irvine is the nation’s top 10 safest cities).
Another obstacle is that the tree the mockingbirds roost in happens to be on a neighbor’s property, one that happens to love birds.
Anyway, I need real solutions to kill the mockingbirds. Local stores don’t carry rat poison. The last employee I asked about it thought I was nuts. I’ve also checked for avitrol, the poison for birds, no stores carry that either.
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'The Overlord'
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 7:24 p.m. - Subject: |
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Uhm, didn’t we go over this in your blog? I told you, get a statue of an owl. Put it on your roof.
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'For Them Admin'
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 7:24 p.m. - Subject: |
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Actually, if you scare it away just before it roosts for the night it will most likely not come back that night as it will be too dark to fly back. Maybe it will continue elsewhere after that.
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Normal Egg
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 7:35 p.m. - Subject: |
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owl doesn’t work. doesn’t keep it away at night.
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Normal Egg
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 7:41 p.m. - Subject: |
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With this bird, every deterrent works only once. Its one smart bird.
scaring it away from its tree right before dusk worked only once, when I chanced it and fired a spread with the shotgun into its tree. I thought it died. I couldn’t try the shotgun again since someone reported the gunfire to the police, I don’t want to be caught doing that. Currently .22lr shotshells only scare the bird to be quiet for about 2-3 hours. The first time I used the .22lr shotshell scared the bird away for a whole 2 days. Now it barely works and it very loud, I know lots of people can hear it and everytime I shoot one brings the cops closer to me.
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'The Overlord'
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 7:44 p.m. - Subject: |
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Say what? All the hotels here put owls on their roofs to keep every kind of bird away. Make a cardboard cutout. Paint it black. I think the silhouette is enough. Since the bird has been driving you nuts for over a week, what would it cost except an hour of your time to try the owl idea?
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'Shown as your title'
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 7:55 p.m. - Subject: |
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Just sound proof your fucking window or turn on some fucking music.
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Normal Egg
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 8:26 p.m. - Subject: |
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sound proofing windows and music doesn’t work either.
And I really do have an owl statue on the roof right now. It keeps the mockingbirds away during the day, but it doesn’t work at night. I’ve even tried lighting at night the statue but it doesn’t seem to work.
doesn’t anyone know how to poison little animals? I’m a little worried about using ammonia since it smells really strong and doubt any animal would fall for that. I also have brass cleaner and toilet bowl cleaner.
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Normal Egg
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AIM
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 8:29 p.m. - Subject: |
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'Shown as your title'
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 8:31 p.m. - Subject: |
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Sound proofing would fucking work... as it DOESNT LET ANY FUCKING SOUND IN!
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Power Egg
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 8:35 p.m. - Subject: |
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Throw a book at it.
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Master Egg
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| Posted: Jun 30, 2008 8:39 p.m. - Subject: |
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Dude, just use the shotgun.
Fucking seroiusoly fuck. stop bitching abour your bird for fucks sake.
call the cops, call it in as a noise complaint, and say, well, I can’t KILL the bird by law, so fuck you, you can take it away, for always keeping me up (obstruction of peace?) meh,
Then kill it.
but dude, seriously, If you’re going to shoot down all our help, don’t ask.
There is no cure for mockingbird except moar firepower.
Now, eh
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