Things Youre Going To Hell For
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 49
Egg Points: 2360083
Posts: 9588
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 10:58 a.m. - Subject: Things Youre Going To Hell For |
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Post fun/awesome/etc. things youve done that you know youre going to hell for. (If there was a hell (fix’d for whiney athiests))
My friends and I were sitting in some booths at the Whataburger for lunch one time, and one of my friends starts telling us this story. Well he was at his dads school, cause his dads a teacher. The teacher was tutoring these "special needs kids" and so I forgot what other shit happened, but the tutoring led the teacher to ask the kids what they wanted to be when they grow up.
One of the kids said "I wanna be a Vietnam Veteran!"
A round of rofls was had by my friends and I all around.
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'Eggo Rapo'
Member Lvl: 65
Egg Points: 3526305
Posts: 13584
AIM
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 11:07 a.m. - Subject: |
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I’ve also made fun of countless retards and other weirdos. I can’t think of one specific occasain though.
I stole from a church once.
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Power Egg
Member Lvl: 25
Egg Points: 1844564
Posts: 3358
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 11:14 a.m. - Subject: |
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what’d you steal?
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Normal Egg
Member Lvl: 9
Egg Points: 9371
Posts: 294
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 11:23 a.m. - Subject: |
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The Lord’s eternal love
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'Deity Egg'
Member Lvl: 64
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 11:40 a.m. - Subject: |
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Ooh, Thanks Bungle. I’ve got a few shares, but I think my 2 prized posessions will be in this post.
Similar thing with the "special needs" kids. Well, it was at lunch one day during this trimester, and the way our cafeteria is setup, we have a lower area called "The Pit" which is where all the Freshmen are required to sit unless you have friends that will let you sit with them along the sides of the cafeteria with the mixed tables of upper-classmen.
Anyways, being a Junior I sat in the upper area. Well, we sat by one of the sides where the pit is just a few feet below, and near that area was where the "special needs" kids eat their lunces.
One day they just started yelling those noises that make at an extremely loud call/shrill. All of my friends started to laugh slightly, but they were trying to hold it in. Finally, one of the kids through a bowl of corn or something up, and it almost hit our table, barely grazing my friends right shoulder. From this point on, everyone’s sides were just shaking. I thought to myself about what day it was for a quick second, and I let out the biggest punch-line to this day that I’ve delivered at any tables of people I’ve sat with when I casually and calmly said, "It sounds like someone’s got a case of the Mondays." right as the kids started roaring and shouting at each other below. The entire table in one collective spew had lost control and sprayed their food and drink all over the table and couldn’t stop laughing until about the time lunch was over.
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Now, I consider myself a Catholic although I don’t practice that much. I will go on holidays and important ceremonial masses because it makes my mom happy, but besides that, no one in our family is extremely devoted to it. My mom just made us go to "Religion School" from second grade up until now so that we could get a better understanding of how the church works and stuff. I graduated from it in October of last year, by the way.
Anyways, we had to go for our last mandatory "Reconciliation" stage (so we could apologize to God/Jesus for our sins). Well, everyone had gone up, and I was one of the last few to go up to the priest and talk with him. He asked me, "Doopliss, do you have any sins that you’d like to confess to me at this time, or is there anything you’d like to talk about?". I developed a smirk on my face before responding, "No Father, I have no sins that I would like to confess at this time." He was almost taken aback when I mentioned thast to him, but he let me go and didn’t say much else. It’s only funny because it was true. I felt I had done nothing wrong, although I may have fought about petty things with my sister, but she’s a bitch, and I’m sure she deserved it.
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Normal Egg
Member Lvl: 9
Egg Points: 39194
Posts: 617
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 12:06 p.m. - Subject: |
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Rape?
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Normal Egg
Member Lvl: 7
Egg Points: 11348
Posts: 67
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 12:59 p.m. - Subject: |
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i got away with murder...
pm me ill explain ..
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 49
Egg Points: 2360083
Posts: 9588
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 1:01 p.m. - Subject: |
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Ill PM you.
And note: im totally not an officer of the law or anything, kids.
Say, do any of you hip cats know where I might be able to procure some illegal drugs, ’my homedogs’?
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 50
Egg Points: 1341141
Posts: 4387
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 1:03 p.m. - Subject: |
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I used to steal a SHITLOAD from walgreens. Things I have stolen include but are not limited to.
-Candy
-Toys
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 50
Egg Points: 1341141
Posts: 4387
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 1:06 p.m. - Subject: |
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WTF list got cut off?
Anyways.
-Candy
-Toys
-Knives
-Cheap Lighters
-Zippos (around 5 or 6)
-expensive mechanical pencils
-Red Bull
-And a $150 MP3 Player that broke the next day.
I literally went to the store one day and walked out with 20 lighters, some stuffed in my shoes some in my pockets and some in my sweatshirt pockets. I was in around 5-6th grade during all of this.
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 49
Egg Points: 2360083
Posts: 9588
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 1:18 p.m. - Subject: |
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Most of you niggers have a really gay definition of ’fun’ and ’awesome’.
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 50
Egg Points: 1341141
Posts: 4387
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 1:29 p.m. - Subject: |
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Stealing is fun and awesome, it gives an amazing adrenaline rush.
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 49
Egg Points: 2360083
Posts: 9588
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 1:32 p.m. - Subject: |
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is stealing awesome cuz its ttly rebul?
running naked into a pedophiles neighborhood would give you an adrenaline rush too, but I wouldnt do it.
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 50
Egg Points: 1341141
Posts: 4387
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 1:34 p.m. - Subject: |
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I did it because I was in 5th grade and wanted free shit...
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 49
Egg Points: 2360083
Posts: 9588
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 1:35 p.m. - Subject: |
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But you just said cause its awesome and gives an adrenaline rush.
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 50
Egg Points: 1341141
Posts: 4387
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 1:45 p.m. - Subject: |
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It is awesome because it gives an adrenaline rush, but since then I have realized I would rather just work for my shit. It is uncool to steal stuff.
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 50
Egg Points: 1341141
Posts: 4387
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 1:46 p.m. - Subject: |
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In the sense it is an asshole/cheap-ass thing to do, plus it makes me feel like a negro when I do it.
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 50
Egg Points: 1341141
Posts: 4387
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 1:57 p.m. - Subject: |
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Here is an actual story bungle since your going to be so ANAL!!! :P just kidz bb ilu
Anyways,
Me and my friend were at a girls house a while back and she invited one of her other guy friends over, little did we know the guy was deaf, so when he got there he kept trying to talk to us and everything he said was really slurred and impossible to understand, later I asked my friend if he wanted to go to the gas station with me so we could get out of the house where the deaf kid and our friend were hanging out, anyways I asked him if he wanted to go to the gas station to which he responded "Most def" which made me and him burst out laughing, the girl we were hanging out with got really pissed. Than it was awkwardly silent for a while so I bursted out with "There is a deafening silence in here"
At this point she was getting pretty pissed at us, and the deaf kid had no idea what we were talking about. So we went to the gas station, when we got back my friend went up to the girl we were hanging out with and said something along the lines of "Hey (Girls name here) I have been trying to get (deaf kids name here) attention all night and he is ignoring me and it is really making me sad."
At this she was insanely pissed so we decided to go to my house.
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Power Egg
Member Lvl: 25
Egg Points: 1844564
Posts: 3358
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 2:22 p.m. - Subject: |
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thats like se7en posts in one thread DTF.
Quote:
I steal alot. Do drugs, masterbate. I’m jewish. I lie and cheat.
YAY! JEWS!!!
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 31
Egg Points: 1633269
Posts: 6224
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| Posted: Jul 30, 2008 2:44 p.m. - Subject: |
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uhm,
the hell should I know?
I’ll let you fuckers know what got me into hell once they’re finished weighing my sins against the feather.
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