Talk about everything under the sun. Unless it’s against the rules. You must have a member level of 3 or greater to post new topics here and a level of 3 to post replies.
Egg Moderator
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Posted: May 08, 2009 6:33 p.m. - Subject: I fucked up
I went to a local Chinese joint for some lunch today. I ordered my noms. A guy was standing behind me. He was kinda close. Made me a little uncomfortable. I payed for my lo mein and turned. He said ’HAI’. I said hey. I walked to the side and let him up to the counter to order. He had an incredibly thick flamer accent. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy thick. He ordered steamed meat dumplings....
I actually laughed out loud. He glared at me, but I couldn’t stop laughing. I had to go outside and wait for my lollernerve to quit. I felt bad, but I just couldn’t help it. I’m LoLing right now while writing about it.
I went back in about 10 minutes later and avoided eye contact.I thought about work so I wouldn’t relapse. I payed and got out asap.
About 2 hours later, my boss told me to go to a new customer’s house. It was looking like it was going to be a very large account. Thousands of dollars. He gave me directions, and I was off.
I pull up to the house and start setting up my tripod to take ’before’ pics of his property so we could do a before and after set. I start taking pics and guess who walks out to say ’HAI’.
Fuck.
He saw it was me and went back in. I think my boss is going to be pissed tomorrow. -.-
TL:DR;
I’m an idiot w/no self control.
Plz post ’foot-in-mouth’ stories to make me feel better about myself.
Master Egg
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Posted: May 08, 2009 6:44 p.m. - Subject:
I once was screaming at someone at a hockey game and the next day they came into my work and were like "Hey weren’t you that guy cheering for the other team"
Your’s is way worse, and I can see why you laughed, you also reminded me I am supposed to go out for Chinese soon.
Master Egg
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Posted: May 08, 2009 6:48 p.m. - Subject:
Was talking to some friends and heard about a guy on his scooter that ran into a parked car. I commented "What a fucking retard". Turns out the guy had downs.
Long awkward silence followed.
Master Egg
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Posted: May 08, 2009 6:49 p.m. - Subject:
lmfao!! Unlucky dude! That is pretty hilarious though, roflcopter!
I can’t think of any "foot in mouth" stories but one springs to mind concerning innapropriate laughter and people not being too amused. As you might know I was away last weekend, on a weekend bender with a bunch of friends (male and female). We were staying in a bunkhouse, where everyone shares a room. On the sunday night, when we thought (or hoped) everyone else was asleep, one of the females crept into my bed. We were a bit worried about the others hearing us and being pissed off, so we were trying to be as quiet as possible (not easy when it was pitch black!) Every time someone rolled over or breathed loudly we froze, and were like "OMG! They’re awake! Oh noez!"
So after kissing for a bit, she whispers "Oh, what’s that in your pocket that I can feel against my leg?" Only for me to reply, in a 100% serious voice, "It’s a gun." That was it, she burst out laughing and I joined in too. We were trying to laugh quietly for fear of waking everyone up, but we couldn’t stop.
FInally we regained our composure and... well, let’s just say she had a go of firing my "gun".
The next day we thought we had gotten away with it, until I was alone with 2 of the other girls who sarcastically thanked me for keeping them awake half the night!
Master Egg
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Posted: May 08, 2009 6:57 p.m. - Subject:
I was at a fastfood resturant (Maccy D’s) and was telling my friend why I didn’t want to eat there, I was just like, I’d hate to be a fatass, you know, the guys who end up ordering like 4 big macs, yeah?
I turned to my right to see a mega fatass with a tray full of burgers and fries, and a massive coke, just looking at me.
I think he thought I was specifically talking about him, it was a big, "oh shit" moment for me.
Power Egg
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Posted: May 08, 2009 7:38 p.m. - Subject:
I have more than one. More than allot actually, I tend to speak my mind always. It’ll be my death eventually....
I work as a Finnish Carpenter, and while hanging a door for a client (Not talking like 200 dollar home depot door, talking CNC’d door that took me 40+ hours to build and cost the guy over 10 grand) I made some offwall comment about how the view was great but jesus, for the price of the door he could have spent more on the design of the house.
Now’s where your expecting the owner to walk out, right? So was I, so I did a quick search around, cursing at my lack of thinking and thanking my dear sweet fuzzy budha that he wasn’t actually around.
Now, like any good carpenter, I went around back to tell my coworkers about my idiotness. Making a long dramatic story of terror and paranioa, filled with copius cuss words and reiteration on how ugly I thought the house was, my story came to an abrupt end when my coworker nearly choked. The owner walking up behind me? Actually, worse... The owners Wife.
yah. it wasn’t good.
hehehe... I wonder if your Fab Client thought you were just making fun at his accent, or understood the conotations of what he said.
Power Egg
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Posted: May 08, 2009 7:47 p.m. - Subject:
Quote:
I once was screaming at someone at a hockey game and the next day they came into my work and were like "Hey weren’t you that guy cheering for the other team"
He was black, right?
Well I had a horrible day today, I was waiting behind a man who ordered Lo Mein and I said hai, and he said hey back. But when he went up to pay, I ordered my steamed meat dumpling and he started laughing at me!
Power Egg
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Posted: May 08, 2009 9:12 p.m. - Subject:
I work as Register Supervisor (2ic) at a well known supermarket.
Anyway, some rude bag came up to me wanting a refund, I gladly went "sure" and proceeded to process it all.
Anyway to start a conversation I noticed she had a HUGE belly (Now I mean pregnant belly, really really round) so I said, Oh wow your pregnant! When is bubba due? With the biggest smile on my face.
She gasped and looked at me with evil eyes and said "I’m not pregnant"
I was like FFFFUUUU... I apologised and quickly refunded the item.
Needless to say when she comes into work she stares at me.. giving me fat woman evils.
I mean seriously, you can tell that fat is different to pregnant.. but this girl DID look pregnant, I swear.
Another one was in like at KFC and I said to my friend "I’m suprised this place is not full of niggers wanting there daily feed of KFC tonight" I heard a loud cough, here was this black guy behind me..
I was so embarrased.
I’ve had too many foot in mouth moments, but one especially comes to mind. Its kinda gross but really funny.
I had my oldest daughter in the ER really, really sick one night. The male nurse was as flaming as it gets. She was only 13 months old at the time so they took a rectal temper. She was sick, scared and screaming.
This flamer makes a snarky comment about her crying, and without thinking I was like, "Of course she’s crying, I would you like it if a stranger held you down and shoved something up your butt?" As soon as I said it I was like fuck.
Master Egg
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Posted: May 08, 2009 9:28 p.m. - Subject:
Lol I was out lapping with a cpuple mates, you know, the usual Friday night after work.
Anywho, we were just going through town, just gone by a round about, slowed down for people to walk across and whatnot, and there was this white guy with a few people. He was acting like an idiot (just being a complete fucking douche). I rolled down the window, being a smartarse, like, whatup my nigger, and stuff, laughing, etc... (not what I’d usually do, but I could see nothing going wrong).
Needless to say a Black Guy stepped out from behind him. Didn’t look happy, but by the time he could do anything the traffic sped up, so yeah, fuuuck. Didn’t see that coming...
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Posted: May 08, 2009 9:32 p.m. - Subject:
Oh Dodge, don’t feel bad. I laughed at your story after reading it. Well, I’ve got a story that I still remember to this day because my friends and I still talk about "that guy" that follows.
Alright, so one Friday, my friends and I started off the weekend by going out to the local Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner before going out to see a movie and then hang out for the rest of the night. It was a really good day. We had just finished a really long week of school, and we were just unwinding at the restaurant. It was perfect because that was one of the finest times I’ve been there, I mean the wings were great, our server was awesome, and the atmosphere was just wonderful.
Well, my two friends were sitting there, and one of my friends started to nerd out a little bit and started talking about the new Starcraft game supposed to come out whenever, and I was never into Starcraft, but I began to listen as he and my other friend who I was sitting next to were talking about it.
Well, as they’re talking about it, the way my friend and I were sitting in our booth we were facing towards the entrance of the restaurant, and a group of people started to come in. It seemed like a normal family, until one of the guys with the group was aimlessly looking around, and right during mid-conversation, this guy looked SO ridiculous in appearance, that my friend broke out into a booming echo of laughter. I was spacing out so I didn’t see the guy at first. My other friend then caught a glimpse of the back of his had, and saw his bizarre mullet going down his back, and then he started laughing equally as hard. We figured it would be best to get out of there, so we paid for our food and got up to leave, where one of my friends was laughing so hard he had to stop at the bathroom before he left.
As we made our way near the entrance where the bathrooms were, I was pissed because I had completely missed this guy’s face as he was walking in, and I just wanted to see what he looked like before I left.
Being the manneristic person that my friend is, he yells out, "Don’t you see him right over there?" and actually beigns pointing his finger at the guy in the booth until he turns around.
Right as he turned around, I caught a glimpse of his face. He was one of the weirdest looking hick/red-necks I’ve EVER seen in my life. He was so unpresentable that he honestly shouldn’t have been allowed out in public for the way he groomed/what he was wearing. His face had this ridiculous handle-bar mustaches connected to these ridiculous uneven sideburns, and had the funniest looking face on top of that, all coupled with his weird half-mullet haircut and trucker hat sitting on top of his head, and then combine that with a racing t-shirt that had indistinguishable stains all over it and then those weird neonish animal print sweatpants that were popular back in the 80’s.
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard at someone I’ve seen in a restaurant than I did that day. As soon as I saw him, I almost fell over. This sent my friend who was still pointing at him into a fit of laughter as well, s here he is, some poor guy turned around looking at us laughing directly at his face, and sure enough, my friend comes out of the bathroom and starts shaking uncontrollably with laughter until we finally brought ourselves to leave after getting our last glimpse of him and our last laugh in for the night.
Sorry in advance that this will constitue as a TL;DR.
