One month ago I had everything, now? Nothing.
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Power Egg
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| Posted: Jul 12, 2008 10:05 a.m. - Subject: One month ago I had everything, now? Nothing. |
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Around 1 month ago, Me and my (now) ex-girlfriend went on a dream holiday to Ibiza. Lets just say she got a different taste of life than back home. All our friends are couples, we all hang out together and are known for that, but I let her hung around with some singles over there to give her independence and help her enjoy her holiday. Shit went on to keep it kinda confidencial and she’s totally changed.
We were going out for 2 years prior to break up and had no complications whatsoever, we were actually the happiest couple I knew (obviously I would say that as I wasnt quite observant of other couples, like you do).
It’s strange saying this by posting now, but I’m in a happy mood today, I can finally see the light of "there’s more after this" and I’m continuing to walk to it.
We’ve talked alot about it, of course, and are trying to stay friends (which is working quite handsomely) and if we feel like we could work things out again, we might try it. It seems like she got a taste of independance and liked it, I have no problem with this, people change. I’m just preparing for the worst and hoping for the best.
However.
I’m a very emotional person, it runs in our family, we all have a short canvas for emotion. Back when I was suffering from depression after my dad’s head on car crash I’d stay in and isolate myself from the world. Me and my computer. I got really good with computers, I understood it, it understood me. About 7 years on and I’m well on my way to becoming a Computer Security analyst.
I’m starting to spend alot more time on the computer now, going back to my old ways. I don’t see much of a problem of it because deep down its me. But I dont have anything to keep my mind off the breakup and the likes, pushing me further into a worse mood. When I get really bad, I feel insanity, I dont know if its actually reported before or like documented etc but I actually feel my control switch off and I become the really hurt 13-14 year old I once was. I have dreams about alot of death, I died in my dream this morning with an electrocution from my laptop, the transformer exploded in my hand and i felt the buzz/ring and everything going white with my mum and dad rushing to help me, it was really graphical, I felt death in my dream.
I have alot of great friends, unfortunately, most of them are my ex’s too. I am on talking terms with all of them though, but I’m just not FRIEND FRIENDS with them (I prefer my own, kinda thing). However, 1 of them is seeing one of his ex-girlfriends again, 2 of them are away seeing their internet girlfriend and I really have no friends (other than my online ones) hence forcing me towards this computer yet again.
I really aint in the mood to walk into town and try to wriggle into a new group, I have perfect friends who are just kinda out of reach now.
I thought this forum would be a bit hostile and violent like the rest of RE appears but I’ve looked around and you guys are actually really nice, this convinced me to post, you guys are doing a great job with maintaining that atmosphere.
Thanks for spending the time reading this.
Any ideas on coping with breakups and how I could get helped out a bit or something? I’m really confused with alot.
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Power Egg
Member Lvl: 10
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| Posted: Jul 12, 2008 10:07 a.m. - Subject: |
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Sorry to double post but just to add, this isnt really a "help with girls" post as thats not what I’m seeking help for. Its just what the hell i should do to get more sociable again, I just dont feel a need to connect anymore.
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 35
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| Posted: Jul 12, 2008 10:13 a.m. - Subject: |
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Hey um just do what you love to do. Picking up a hobby is a great way to forget the past. i read your entire story. Hey maybe just spend some time in the RE forums posting.
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'Schlong Connery'
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| Posted: Jul 12, 2008 11:37 a.m. - Subject: |
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If you have a hobby (other than computers), go out and take part in something. If you don’t have a hobby that would take you out somewhere, find a new one. Try a sport, boxing, anything that interests you.
You might not feel like interacting now, but before you know it you’ll be making more friends.
Keep that girl close, too. Maybe even ask her along to something if you do something.
You could also get a job. You can make some great friends in a job. It’ll give you something to do, and take your mind off most things.
Plus, if you end up getting back together with the girl, you could treat her to something ;D
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'Eggo Rapo'
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| Posted: Jul 12, 2008 12:26 p.m. - Subject: |
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You gotta commit to something else rather than reverting back to what you’re comfortable with. You just got to explore a different group of people, you can’ wait around the same bunch. I’m sure you have other interests other than computers and what not.
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Master Egg
Member Lvl: 35
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| Posted: Jul 12, 2008 12:35 p.m. - Subject: |
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Whenever I either read or contribute to someones help with life forums I have NEVER seen them respond after their initial message...it frustrates me more then when the people at mcdonalds mess up my order at least say thanks or something
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Power Egg
Member Lvl: 10
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| Posted: Jul 12, 2008 1:44 p.m. - Subject: |
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Sorry, I was getting some drinks haha.
I do have a hobby but I live in scotland, It’s flying some radio controlled planes and the weather over here is shit at the moment so that’s scored out.
I’ve been to the job centre etc and actively looking for a job so it’ll take a while till i get one.
I was considering taking up boxing because I am really fit despite having asthma of exercise so it kinda stands in the way of that.
I guess a little time out of stuff will help, away from this computer and meet a new bunch of people, maybe even some people from RE, I’ve met some really interesting people here :D
Yeah, i’ll try one of those out.
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Power Egg
Member Lvl: 18
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| Posted: Jul 13, 2008 3:53 a.m. - Subject: |
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Quote: We’ve talked alot about it, of course, and are trying to stay friends (which is working quite handsomely) and if we feel like we could work things out again, we might try it. It seems like she got a taste of independance and liked it, I have no problem with this, people change
Have you thought about this?
Ive been in a relationship for 8 years. theres been real rough patches, and him and i both have changed alittle here, alittle there. We both have grown independently.
What i mean by that is that its ok to go out with my friends, and its ok for him to go out and have fun with his friends IF thats what we want.
I goal of the relationship should be to grow TOGETHER, you dont have to break up to have any sort of independence. As long as you or her can grow with the changes, you should be fine.
In all honesty, the needing independence thing sounds like a crock of shit.
Shes probably really just not ready for a long term commitment and JUST realized what she was doing and sort of had an "awaking".
That doesnt sound like a good enough reason to out right leave someone.
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'The Devil'
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| Posted: Jul 13, 2008 10:07 a.m. - Subject: |
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it isn’t a good reason at all
what some people don’t learn is that they can be independant and still be together, you don’t have to do everything together, but that doesn’t mean you show let yourself grow apart either
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Power Egg
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| Posted: Jul 13, 2008 1:42 p.m. - Subject: |
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I was actually listening to this radio talk show the other night that reminded me of you.
The main guy of the show who is a doctor said that when two people break up instantly after being together for along period of time, that is because he or she fell in love with someone else.
when the breakup is slow its because they still love each other and no one is involved with anyone else.
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Power Egg
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| Posted: Jul 13, 2008 3:39 p.m. - Subject: |
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i read the whole of your story and its clear to me that although you may be very emotional its also apparent from you level headed writing that you are indeed coping and im very impressed and hope you keep getting better... we all need alone time from time to time.
keep sharing and keep your chin up!
RB
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'The Devil'
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| Posted: Jul 14, 2008 8:26 p.m. - Subject: |
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it will get better, time heals all wounds....it make take a while, but in the end what will be will be
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Power Egg
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| Posted: Jul 14, 2008 10:19 p.m. - Subject: |
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True that GMT.
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Power Egg
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| Posted: Jul 15, 2008 11:51 a.m. - Subject: |
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well i’ve been trying to get my mind off it with doing stuff, went camping last night and had a great time. I just got flashbacks of all the stuff we done etc and I just still miss her. Like GMT says, time will heal that.
Thanks for all your support guys :D:D
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Master Egg
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| Posted: Jul 15, 2008 2:06 p.m. - Subject: |
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Where did you go camping?I was camping up loch Earn the other week it was a good night.
As for dealing with break ups,fuck know m8 ust gott deal with it.Life goes on.
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Power Egg
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| Posted: Jul 15, 2008 4:08 p.m. - Subject: |
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I was camping in Darvel, it’s somewhere in Ayrshire, quite a nice lil place.
Going back on Friday, friend are camping all week, I’m taking time off etc to spend it in town and such.
What is really nice is that we looked about the area and seen that some shrooms had already started growing, looks like a nice spot, only seen around 5-6 though but for an early season that’s great.
Seen some salvia plants aswell, to top it off.
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'The Devil'
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| Posted: Jul 16, 2008 5:08 p.m. - Subject: |
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Quote: Me and my (now) ex-girlfriend went on a dream holiday to Ibiza.
next time just go to the holiday inn
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Power Egg
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Egg Points: 19397
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| Posted: Jul 16, 2008 6:10 p.m. - Subject: |
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I told her last night that considering getting back together wasnt on the menu for me. She said we should see how we feel after a few months, I was expecting maybe weeks at the most. I still love her to absolute pieces and I would wait that long if I actually had the slightest notion that she’d get back with me, but to be very honest, she shows no signs and so it’s off my list.
Time to grow the fuck up and move on.
We’re still gonna stay best friends, that’s all I need to work on from now on out.
This time I’ll make it work.
But blah, I guess you never know what the future holds.
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'The Devil'
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| Posted: Jul 16, 2008 7:49 p.m. - Subject: |
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you never know, you might get with her or you might not
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Master Egg
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| Posted: Dec 28, 2008 9:24 p.m. - Subject: |
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Unlike most people in this world/on RE, your head is on your fucking shoulders which is right where it needs to be.
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