(Help with Life Group) Come here with your relationship problems and we will try to help! Mods - Clegg - Mina_Seward - Garg - fuckineh - Scarlett-156(FP #10) You must be a member of this group to post here. You must have a member level of 1 or greater to post new topics here and a level of 1 to post replies.
Power Egg
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Posted: Jul 08, 2009 1:43 a.m. - Subject: fucking sick of this shit
My best friend has pretty much been ignoring me so much lately and i’m getting sick of it. I used to hang out with her pretty much every day and go into her school just to see her, and then we both got an apartment where it was just me and her and her boyfriend (I view her as a sister so there’s no sexual attraction).
But for the past many months she won’t hang out with me even when we make plans she just goes and hangs out with other people like Jenna. Even today we I was gunna hang out with her just for something simple like a smoke before she goes to bed (We have since moved out, her boyfriend fucked us over and they broke up)
This shit has been pissing me off forever, even when i’m depressed enough to think of killing myself (Won’t happen don’t worry)she won’t talk to me. Is it even talking to her anymore?
'The Devil' Forum Moderator
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Posted: Jul 08, 2009 7:34 a.m. - Subject:
Sounds like she needs to grow up, give her time and space to do so, keep contact but don’t be pushy and maybe she’ll come around...if not then move on, she’s not worth the stress.
Power Egg
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Posted: Aug 07, 2009 9:41 p.m. - Subject:
Actually sounds a lot like a friend I once had, she didn’t like me anymore but she didn’t have the balls to confront me (unless it was about something nitpicky I’d done wrong, but never the main issue). But her main trick was making plans with me and breaking them... to this day, I dont understand why she made those plans to begin with, but she’d do it everytime... eventually I pissed her off enough to get to her to stop talking to me.
Bottom line, either she’s super busy, or there’s probably something under the surface... if you feel like it, confront her flat-out and ask if something about you bothers her, and if she won’t admit what it is, its time to move on and find a friend that shows you more respect than that.
Power Egg
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Posted: Sep 04, 2009 9:53 p.m. - Subject:
I was renaming my journal from August and found this reply to this topic in it (a lot of the time I type replies to forum topics in word processing). I couldn’t post it on the board because I wasn’t a member, and then by the time I got allowed in the group I had forgot I replied to the topic.
(help with life forum 08/08/09)
In my opinion it isn’t worth getting that depressed over, but of course you gotta see that for yourself.
Whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, the best way to deal with the other person distancing him/herself from you, when you still want to spend time with that person, is to back off and let that person have the space he or she wants.
It’s ok to let the person know how you feel about it, i.e.: "I wish that you wanted to go to the track with me this weekend. Everybody always asks me where you are and I don’t know what to say." Just try to be sort of casual when you ask; you don’t want her to think that you’re trying to start a fight.
Don’t try to force yourself on the other person, though, or lay a trip on them. Pursuing them asking for reasons when they don’t want to talk is always (as in "nearly 100% of the time, like 99.9% of the time") going to result in you finding out something you really didn’t want to know.
If you live with this other person and she’s starting to keep a distance from you, but is otherwise not doing anything freaky or antagonistic that would indicate that she’s turned into a criminal or drug fiend or whatever, then just stay back and let her be the one to approach if she wants to. It may be sorta painful, but the person is a lot more likely to stay your friend, and your relationship with them intact, if you leave them alone about it. If she’s really just busier than hell and distracted by other things, then she’ll eventually snap out of it and realize she’s being a shitheel toward you. (Again, that’s just my opinion; I can’t deal with people who act that way toward me when I’ve done nothing wrong, and my way of handling the above type of situation is just to cut that person out of my life. I’m not very understanding toward ungrateful, rude creeps, especially when they’re in my house.)
Enough about me, though. If she’s going through some sort of change regarding the way she feels about you or sees you, then pushing her about it will more than likely only cause a problem that you don’t need right now.
I hope this is helpful. Good luck, and again: Try not to feel so bad about it. From what you’re telling us, you’ve been a good friend to the young lady and no matter what’s going on with her, it’s not your fault.
Power Egg
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Posted: Sep 05, 2009 7:43 a.m. - Subject:
I wish i had seen this sooner, cause i just went thru almost the exact same shit.
sometimes when a girl (who’s an idiot) gets a boyfriend, their life will revolve around them for what feels like a long ass time.
but if you REALLY want to stay her friend, then just be patient, take a step back emotionally, and either wait for her to get in a fight with the idiot bf and come running back to you realizing that you are infact a really good friend, OR confront her about it if your really "sick of it" cause im sure this shit is probably eating you up inside like it has for me.
Think about weather or not your willing to let her bf get in the way of pretty much everything, cause in all likelihood shes going to want to drag him along to every fucking thing you try to do with her. (even when you need a friend to talk to in private)
I would just tell her: look im always going to care about you, but sometimes i need a friend to talk to and you havnt been there for me like you used to, is there something we should talk about? cause if there is im sure we can just get everything out in the open and fix shit. Theres no reason why you need to distance yourself.
(say something along those lines if you CAN get her to sit down with you alone)
Try to be as diplomatic as you can and keep emotions out of it until later when you can kinda process everything. i mean if your living together and this shit is going down, then i would say something is deff. up. good bad or other wise, if she WAS "just busy" she would tell you right? if shes purposely avoiding you, then something needs to be done asap.
