How to Escape from the Mental Institution
'Pinguinus Pimpius' 
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(26 votes)
Published: Apr 08, 2003 12:00 a.m.
Viewed 2531 times |
ok you’re going to need:
a bedsheet or 3
save up all your meds for 3 weeks, and you’ll need those
lots of piss and crap
your own sexy self
confidenc :~)
ok, here’s what you do
save your piss and crap in a jar, bowl, bedpan, whatever you can get your hands on. and no, noone will notice the smell because it’s a mental instituion and people are always crapping on themselves, so don’t worry about it. lay on the floor of your room. flop around, but have the piss and crap at about arm’s length so you can reach it easily. your medications should be around you somewhere. if you’re allowed to wear clothes, in your pocket is best. if you’re stuck in a stupid gown, then i don’t know what to tell ya, sorry. anyways, scream and flop around. someone will come in to see what is wrong with you and why you are flopping around on the ground. when they get close to you, throw the piss and crap at them. they’ll be shocked at first, stumble, maybe even fall down. shove the meds down their throat. step one complete. grab your bedsheets. as you run down the hall to the elevator, be sure to look both ways, and be quiet and stealthy and so on and so forth. the elevator is more than likely in front of a nurse’s station, but that’s your only option because the door to the stairs should have an alarm on it. walk up to the nurses, kind of nonchalantlike and smile. kind of wink, and ask the 1 on duty if you could get a cigarette. (most mental institutions will let you smoke, and most nurses smoke to pass the time on breaks and such.) so get on with it, and ask her if she’d like to spend her break with you. i know your prolly thinkin "a hot nurse won’t want to spend time with a smelly patient" that’s true. pick out the ugliest nurse and she’ll be flattered. when you 2 get somewhere, tie her up in a sheet, and run like hell out of the hospital. be sure to scream "i’m free" on the way out. hehe, good luck, have fun. :~) |
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