i am so big i encircle the planet like the midgard serpent

I can use mine as a kickstand if needed.

i can use it as a lasso

Big enough for your mom.

the amount of blood it requires could flood Cincinatti

I'm skepctical of this claim, as my mother is a huge whore.

I'm sure she may be too loose for you, yet, I'm also sure she would take any size because she is a whore.

 

perhaps

I have to throw mine on my shoulder in the shower to wash my nuts.

I'd have to throw mine over the Chrystler building to wash my nuts

mine can block out the sun a full erection.

I have to throw mine in the grand canyon to wash it.

I have to throw all your cocks in my mouth to get me through the day...........wait what?

o no you dit-ten

Short ,very short but about as big around as a jar of peanutbutter .

I use mine as a pillow when needed

I could slap someone and their mother in the face with it at the same time on opposite ends of the earth

Everytime I get an erection I end up passing out because it pulls blood from my brain and the rest of my body in order for me to actually stay full erect.

My penis is so large that there is no unit of measurement to determine its actual legnth/girth.

my dick is so big that it is the universe