The Bathroom at My Place of Employment.
I work at a bar/restraunt as a dishwasher. I have been having some rather frightening expieriences every time I go to the bathroom and I would like someone to comfort/help me. So, let me explain. It was a beautiful evening, the sun was slowly dropping and the sky was a beautiful orange and pink mix of colors. The air smelled of honeysuckle and a distant bonfire. I was located inside a musky bar, where I could hear old women talking about the town idiots and their most recent health problems. I had just finished off my fifth cup of coffee and had to take a piss... I walked into the bathroom and entered the stall. Upon entering the stall I realized I had stepped in something wet because I heard a squish noise. It was shit. There was shit on everything. It was like someone had gone into the bathroom and spun around as fast as they could while explosive diarrhea sprayed. HOW THE #%!@ DOES THIS HAPPEN!? Why? Why would someone shit everywhere. I don't understand what could have happened. And also how exactly did this person manage to not be covered in shit when they exited the bathroom?
Also on another day I walked into the bathroom, and sitting on the floor next to the toilet was a pile of fried chicken bones, it seemed as though someone had sat there taking a shit, and while doing this, they ate a few pieces of fried chicken. There were even crumbs on the toilet seat. How the #%!@ did they get the chicken into the bathroom without anyone noticing, and an even better question: who would eat in a bar restroom? What kind of #%!@ing society do I live in? I picture a man projectile shitting feces all over bathrooms spinning as fast as he can, with a bucket of KFC in one hand, and probably jerking off at the other hand. All while he is doing this his face is beet red and his eyes are blood shot, sweat dripping down his forhead, veins protruding out of his neck, and his teeth gritted like a vice.
Please help me to understand.