I can't explain that, but I can empathize with you. I live in a college dorm with about three dozen guys to the one bathroom. Plus, the damn University refuses to pay the cleaning staff to clean the dorms Saturday or Sunday. So when I wake up Saturday to take a shower at like 10, I get the pleasure of meandering into a bathroom covered in vomit and shit. This morning, it looked like someone had been taking a shower, started to throw up, and then tried to run to the toilet (the row of toilets is against the opposite wall that the row of shower stalls are). There was a literal trail of vomit across about 20 feet of the floor, which suddenly ended as soon as the person was about a foot away from the toilet. And, since no one will be cleaning the bathroom today, I know the trail will still be sitting there tomorrow morning, smelling worse than it does today.

This may answer your question: http://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/2009/05/25/what-do-you-make-of-adults-who-smear-feces-in-public/

I feel better knowing that I am not alone. Hahaha, I can't believe that.

That is the nastiest shit ive ever heard.

We used to have this happen at my high school in our dance locker changing rooms (i took tap/jazz/ballet in high school) and the usual "hello i dont like you" was a used tampon stuffed inside your locker or a used pad stuck to the outside of your locker. 

We also had another lovely tradition of snapping pictures of other girls whilest in the shower in the locker rooms and then spreading it around for all the world to see at the school.

At one point THAT got so bad that NO ONE wanted to use the locker room showers, and you could see the dust collecting on the shower room floors.

My personal favorite prank was to bring boiled (but still intact) chicken feet to school and leaving it somewhere lovely. LIKE in a locker, in a backpack or on someones stuff for them to discover a moment or two later.

What can say i came from a high school of creative and proforming arts. AKA pranksters. ; )

my head hurts and i didn't read...can i get a quick summary

For this post, I'll try the "Stream Of Consciousness" format...

It's also called the "dot dot dot" format, and was used by Larry King for that insufferable column of his in USA Today...

There were no paper towels in the restrooms of the restaurant where I was incarcerated for years; only a dryer.  And they used gravity flush toilets, like most Americans have in their homes with a tank of water on top, and they often weren't up to the task of swallowing load after load of shit with half a roll of paper added.  Shit wasn't a common problem, but it did happen a few times...

One night, there was a fine layer of diarrhea smeared on the floor in front of the toilet.  I can only gather someone was hovering over the bowl, trying not to sit down properly, managed to miss the toilet, spray some drizzly shit on the floor, felt some level of shame, and attempted to wipe it up with toilet paper, as there are no paper towels available...

If the seat is dry and appears clean, just sit on the damn thing.  If there are ass gaskets available, use them.  The toilet seat won't give you cooties.  I have it on good authority that's what takes women so much longer than men; half of the women are hovering over the bowl and pissing all over the seat, forcing the next user to wipe the seat off, which takes time that could be spent pissing, and so on and so forth...

This wouldn't be complete without recounting the tale of the Pintos 'n Cheese shitter.  These were popular with my city's burgeoning homeless population, as they could be eayen without the benefit of teeth.  The Pintos 'n Cheese shitter was a homeless man who was probably mentally ill.  He would order a Pintos 'n Cheese for 59 cents, which was sweved on a paper bowl which might hold 10 oz. (US) of liquid.  After joylessly consuming the "creamy" refried beans, "tangy" sauce, and "zesty" cheddar cheese, he'd retain the empty cup...

The "adjectives" above were supposed to be used to describe the ingredients when a customer would ask.  The questions were sometimes completely moronic, like, "What is in your Pintos 'n Cheese?  Does it have pinto beans and cheese?"...

He would set the cup on the floor, drop his unlaundered trousers, peel off his drawers, squat over the paper cup, and drop a big, juicy shit into it!  He got away with this several times before being caught in the act.  We would discover the overflowing Cup o' Shit on the floor at closing time, and sweep it into the dustpan...

Until the night the manager caught him in mid-dump.  The manager, a 250-pound lesbian of Mexican and indigenous-American ancestry, bolted from behind the counter, grabbed the collar of his smelly overcoat, dragged the Pintos 'n Cheese Shitter out the door, and threw him over the rail into some holly bushes, all with his pants around his ankles.  He never came back.  The manager was eventually fired for another incident like this a year later...

USA Today is sometimes called The McNewspaper by reporters.  It makes the writing here at RottenEggs.com look like Pulitzer Prize-winning journalism...

I think I stopped playing with poop by the time I was toilet trained...

^Nice, that hobo could be a poineer of cheap eats. Imagine a pinto and beans with some sort of edible (not a taco shell) container.
 

DTF, you work in a bar. Your local DQ isn't getting the same shitty treatment.

While I was in the Navy, we had a "phantom shitter" that'd leave his shit for others to flush. I did an investigation and narrowed it down to a few shitters but I never found the culprit. My major regret since getting out was not finding that person!

Can any Sailors verify this?

I've been told about, but have never seen, the toilet on a submarine.  It resembles a metal birdbath, and has no automatic controls.  Before discharging his bowels, the seaman turns a valve, and a little bit of water flows into the metal bowl.  After launching some brown torpedoes and wiping, the seaman then opens another valve.  The pressure of the air in the submerged submarine pushes the shit stew down the drain, at which time he closes the valve.

But the stench of the holding tank would escape into the head, and stink out the submarine.  Therefore, the seaman would open the water valve, putting more water into the bowl, then open the drain valve, and rinse the toilet while it's draining, keeping the stench to a manageable level. 

The tank of water, toilet paper, and shit would be periodically discharged into the ocean.  This is done by first closing the bathroom, so nobody opens the drain valve in the toilet.  Then the holding tank is pressurized.  Another valve is opened, and the shit is jettisoned.

The problem is when the submarine is docked, and the seamen go on shore leave.  The head is cordoned off with tape.  When the seamen return, sometimes one will be too inebriated and pressed for time to get back to his submarine, and feel the need to shit.  He'll fill the metal toilet with the manual fill valve, then add some shit and/or vomit, and attempt to drain it into the holding tank below with the valve.  Unfortunately, the submarine is docked and therefore not pressurized, while the holding tank is.  So opening the drain valve in the toilet has the opposite of the usual action; the toilet then vomits the contents of the tank back in the face of said seaman.

I guess that could just be a sailor story.  I worked with a guy whose older brother was in the Navy, and was always told by his brother he should never join the Navy because it sucks.  Who to believe?