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“ Guide to Faking Sick (datru#%!@a) ”

Story by DTF , written 12 years ago 1054 views105 votes
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I have faked sick from school many times, possibly to many times. Last year I missed 24 days of school and this year so far I have missed 5 days of school. So I have become somewhat of a "master" at faking sick. I hope you enjoy this egg thoroughly.

The beggining

The day before you plan on faking sick out of school tell your parents you dont feel good the night before and go to bed much earlier than usual.

The next morning

The next morning sleep in until one of your parents wake you up and when they wake you up tell them your stomache hurts and you feel nauseous. If your parents go to work before you wake up call them and tell them you threw up and you don’t think you can go to school.

The next morning alternative

Wake up as usual and mention your stomache hurts than take a shower. When you get out of the shower make gurling and coughing noises like your throwing up than flush the toilet. Try to make it loud so your parents hear. If they knock on the door and ask if your alright tell them you just threw up. If you don’t think you can fake it than drink a spoonful of olive oil and you will throw up.

Getting out of school

It is very easy to fake sick at school. All you need to do is go to the nurse’s office and tell the nurse you threw up or had diahrea and you have a stomache ache if you throw up or have diahrea during school the nurses arn’t aloud to keep you in school so they will have to let you call a parent try to be as convincing as possible. If your parent insists on making you stay at school ask the nurse if you may lie down and they will let you atleast you get to take a nap :).

other things to know

-If your parents check your head for your temperature, than before they check your head rub your forhead with your hands for a few minutes the vibration will warm it up.

-Parents arn’t stupid and if you do these things to many times they WILL catch on.

-Have fun going on RE and watching T.V. and whatever the hell you do when your home sick from school :D

Comments are apriciated flaming and other spam will be deleted. Sorry for any spelling errors.


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