Alright...we all have one class that is so dumb there\’s no need to pay attention in, so this is a guide to entertain yourself during these hour long waits to lunch or a more interesting class. There are many different ways to stay awake, and many different ways to do them...so I\’ll explain the best of all of them...AND...for your convinience...there is a table of contents so you can find exactly what you\’re looking for, faster...and more effectively.

Table O\’ Contents
I. Class disturbances
II. Weapon design
III. Pranks on classmates
IV. Destruction of property
V. Pranks on the teacher
VI. homework for other classes


I. Class disturbances

This is probably the most common way to entertain yourself, and with good reason. What better way to enjoy yourself, then to disturb people and make them angry?
Most of the time, it just irritates the teacher...but we\’ll cover everyone.

1. One of my favorite ways to draw attention to myself is when it\’s quiet...shouting out loud \"MARCO\" and seeing if anyone answers \"POLO.\" If noone answers...act disgruntled and be like \"Guuuuuyyys....c\’monnnnnnnnnnnnn....\" Do it with a lisp if you wish.

2. Take a hammer to school and a piece of wood...take them out during the class, place them on your desk and start hammering away. Everyone will stop and turn around and look at you...pretend not to notice until the teacher says something about it, just say it\’s a wood shop project you\’re finishing for next period. (You\’ll most likely be sent to the principle\’s office...I wouldn\’t reccommend this one if you don\’t wish to get into a great deal of trouble...but the laughs after it all blows over are great.)

3. Go to your local dollar store and buy a laser pointer...you don\’t want to use your own if you have one...because chances are that it cost more than a dollar...and chances are if you attempt this...you\’re going to get it taken away.
Ok...so you have the laser pointer, as the teacher is speaking, shine it into the front of the room, even put it on the teacher...try to do it without them noticing.

4. If your class has a white board, bring a suction-cup dart gun to class with plenty of ammo. While the teacher is turned around...fire off a few rounds really quick...when they turn around...act like you were taking down notes...make sure you\’re looking down at your paper and when you look up...don\’t have a smile on your face. (Use your time faking to take notes with your head down to wipe that shit-eating grin off your face...but if you\’re eating shit and grinning...it\’s probably not your day anyway so don\’t even bother)

5. When it\’s quiet...make a loud farting noise...almost sure to get attention and stop the class for a few moments...hard to do with a straight face if you\’re like me.

II. Weapon design

1. Always carry a few things around in your backpack...such as needle-nose plyers, a few BIC pen cases, some paperclips, some airsoft ammo too and a few rubber-bands.

2. Be creative and make new weapons that shoot things fast and then post them on rotteneggs.com

III. Pranks on classmates

1.
A. One of my favorites, carry krazy glue around in your backpack in addition to the many devious tools, krazy glue is a must.

You don\’t need the brand KRAZY GLUE...you just need super glue...you can go to the dollar store and get three tubes of the same stuff for a dollar.

Alright, so take the super glue and when the person infront of you gets up, pour it all over their seat right before they sit back down again...this works best if your school has the chairs without a solid backrest so you can do it from under your desk. (Only do this to someone who you don\’t like)
B. Glue your desk down to the ground. This is great if the next class has a group activity.
C. Glue your shoe or a friend\’s shoe to the ground (with or without them knowing...it\’s fun either way).
D. Glue random objects to the floor or walls, I glued a spoon to the wall and a slushy to the ceiling (long story). You could also glue larger things in awkward positions, I\’ve always wanted to glue the garbage can to the wall sideways...but the garbage can is in the front of the room and I sit all the way in the back.

2. Only works with plastic chairs. When someone you don\’t like gets up from their seat, take out a highlighter (any color) and scribble all over their seat. When they sit back down, their clothes will have neon yellow or pink on them, it works best if they\’re wearing light clothing, like white pants or something.

3. This is a good one...for the classes that have phones in them. You need a cell phone, which most of you have. Alright, you need the number of the phone in the classroom, and someone you don\’t like.
You can get the number easily before the teacher gets there or after the teacher leaves call your cell phone from the class phone.
Once you get the number, in the middle of class, go to the bathroom, call the number and immitate someone that works in the office, ask that the person you don\’t like be sent to the office immediately (you can also ask for yourself to get out of class, when you get back the teacher will tell you to leave again...it\’s great). When they get there and ask what they were needed for they\’ll get strange looks and be confused and embarassed.
If you REALLY want to mess with someone...ask in a sort of gentle and sad way that the person you don\’t like be put on the phone please, when they are put on the phone, say in the same gentle/solomn voice that their mother/father/brother/sister/grandparent has died and ask them to come to the office please. They will be DEVESTATED, quite possibly even start crying with the phone in their hand and run to the office...sure it\’s harsh...but if you know someone who might deserve it...it\’s great to see...best thing is when they run out of the room...you walk right in and look surprized to the teacher and ask what their problem was. Again...it\’s a little harsh...but there are some people who would deserve it.

IV. Destruction of property

Undoubtedly the one that could get you in the most trouble...and the most boring...so I won\’t even cover it...it\’s too simple, figure it out on your own.

V. Pranks on the teacher

Another one of my favorites...

1. One thing you could do is go to the bathroom, call the classroom phone from your cell phone, and when the teacher picks up the phone...immitate an office gnome voice and ask them to leave the classroom and go to the office to speak with the supervisor or something. Great way to get the teacher out of the room.
Take your super glue, and glue the teacher\’s coffee mug to their desk...good with combination of the above...call them to the office to get them out of the room, they\’ll leave their coffee cup unprotected...walk calmly up to the front of the room and glue their cup down to their desk...they\’ll reach for a drink and won\’t be able to get it up...it\’s so much fun to watch.

2. Take your super glue again, and before the teacher gets there, glue the whiteboard markers down to the holder. You could also glue the eraser and not the markers...or both...although if both are glued down...it\’s likely to stop when they find that one tool is disabled.

3. Before teacher arrives at their tyrannical nazi post, super glue a fart machine to the under-side of their desk. Set it off at random points in the class...this is especially funny if the class is taking a test because the teacher is sitting down and it\’s quiet. Sure to stir up some laughs.

4. Shoot the teacher with balls of paper, or suction cup darts when they\’re turned around righting on the board. It\’s great when you have an automatic Nerf gun.

VI. homework for other classes

....nah...never mind

If anyone has some good ones that I\’ve missed, label them with a catagory and post them as a comment. I hope everyone has found my egg helpful in some way, and I do not take credit for all of these ideas...I didn\’t make a few of them up...but all of the ones I\’ve borrowed have been changed in some way...nothing is copy/pasted.