The man in the picture above is an addict.

So, imagine what a dope-sick, fiend would do if they had only enough money for a bag of powder, and no quarters. how would they contact their alleged life-wreckers? simple! The same way I use phones without paying; By using public phones at places like: the front desk at the gym, hotels, gas stations and even casinos.

So, now that you have a location, and a motivation behind a bold prank, we can begin to hypothesize how the situation will unfold.

The way I envision this prank working, is by going to a place - let\\’s say a casino - and using their phone to make a phony call to a number. maybe get a friend involved, so he can pick up the phone to give you time to pull the prank off without sounding a dial tone, and ruining it. Begin talking to the imaginary dealer on the line, and get sligthly agitated. hang up, and leave the casino, meanwhile acting all strange by doing things like; Not making eye contact, furiously scratching your neck, constantly sniffling/wiping your nostrils with your sleeve, etc. After a few minutes or seconds (the less time, the more cracked out you appear to be), go back inside and ask to use the phone again, calling the same false number. this time, raise your voice, and make sure people around you hear about how long you\\’ve been waiting, how much longer \\"he\\’s\\" going to be, where \\"he\\" is, and if you feel now is the time, you could throw in that you\\’re \\"#%!@ing sick, maaan!\\". this will put everyone in an... \\"awkward position\\" to say the least.


Exhibit A: Awkward position.

Hang up the phone, and storm out of the casino, with even more sniffling, neck scratching, and other incoherent mumbling. If the casino (or old-folks home, whichever you\\’ve chosen) lets you inside a third time, feverishly dial the number once, then slam the phone down, yelling expletives, cus you\\’ve dialed it too fast and it didnt work. Dial again, and start yelling at the \\"dealer\\", causing a big enough scene to hopefully get escorted from the premise, while urinating yourself and resisting, of course.


Pro tip: Canola oil in your hair, and dry, chapped lips make for a more believable transient, substance-abuser!

This prank\\’s success is measured on how many people you make uncomfortable, and triple-bonus points for people whom you have deterred from ever coming back to said facility.

☼Disclaimer: This prank is best suited for individuals with little to no shame. It\\’s purpose is to devalue a venue or location, by exhibiting a display of civil disobedience, shady acts, and crime, all rolled into one. If one feels this \\"How-to\\" of olympic-sized proportions has too many, superfluous commas, please, rate it, a five, star, thank, you,