Dorm pranks!! Hmmm. Well, I don’t have time for a canonical list, but
here’s one of my favorites. Unfortunately, I was the mark, but it slapped
me up pretty good.

One morning after a particularly violent debate with a keg, I woke up.
This in and of itself was an accomplishment, as was opening either eye, and
trying to remember how I had gotten into my room. Yes, it was time for
everyone’s favorite party game, ’What Did I Do Last Night?’

I sat up, got up, pulled on a pair of shorts, and limped shirtless out to
the lounge (communal area) to find out. There were a bunch of people
there, and as I walked in they started congratulating me, and one guy
asked, ’Well, who was she?’ I had to think quickly... Right. So I gave
him a cross-eyed bloodshot befuddled look, replied ’Urgh?’ and turned and
walked out, hoping they would all think I was just too hungover to respond.

I walked into the bathroom to try to clear my head. As I picked my head up
after washing my eyes, I noticed... Written on my stomach, in deep red
lipstick, by a flowing, distinctly female hand, were two words: ’Thank
you.’

Oh No.

Better wash THAT off.

I spent the better part of a week refusing to tell anyone about my exploits
that night -- and dreading Her approaching me and demand an explanation for
my not calling her. I was convinced that it was for real, because the word
was spreading around the dorm that I had had an Exploit. But people
weren’t making fun of me, nobody, not even a little bit; no -- you know how
guys are -- they were congratulating me. No way there was a conspiracy
going on.

It was agony.

And, of course, towards the end of the week, the inevitable phone call
came. She figured I had forgotten her number... She hoped I didn’t mind
that she had called, instead of me calling her... (I was a Freshman Male.
She was a Female. AND she had written on me! How cool! Mind? I don’t
THINK so.)

So we set up a meeting, the next day, for lunch. I was all a-tingle. God,
what a sap. Of course you have it all figured out by now, but you knew it
was a setup from the start. I had to live it.

So I showed up for the Date... and there at the anointed table was my
roommate Bill. ’Bill?’ I say, thinking -- really! -- ’What a coincidence!’

’Hi, Don.’ He smiled ...and handed me the lipstick. And then he started
to giggle, watching me as realization flooded in. I was pretty proud of
myself, actually; it only took a couple of breaths before I realized the
beauty of it and was able to smile. AND I didn’t hit him.

All he had done, of course, was write on my stomach after I had passed out.
(He had had the lipstick on hand, Just In Case -- never know when you’ll
need bright red lipstick in a freshman dorm.) The rest just kind of
naturally followed after I walked around shirtless, not knowing what was on
my stomach. I, and everyone else in the dorm, just jumped to the same
conclusion. All he had to do was keep a straight face.)

He was a good prankster -- subtle, and very effective! Knew how and when
to end it, too. We had some fun that year.