DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME : Text files and message bases are for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. Do not undertake any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site.We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.Dorm pranks!! Hmmm. Well, I don’t have time for a canonical list, but
here’s one of my favorites. Unfortunately, I was the mark, but it slapped
me up pretty good.
One morning after a particularly violent debate with a keg, I woke up.
This in and of itself was an accomplishment, as was opening either eye, and
trying to remember how I had gotten into my room. Yes, it was time for
everyone’s favorite party game, ’What Did I Do Last Night?’
I sat up, got up, pulled on a pair of shorts, and limped shirtless out to
the lounge (communal area) to find out. There were a bunch of people
there, and as I walked in they started congratulating me, and one guy
asked, ’Well, who was she?’ I had to think quickly... Right. So I gave
him a cross-eyed bloodshot befuddled look, replied ’Urgh?’ and turned and
walked out, hoping they would all think I was just too hungover to respond.
I walked into the bathroom to try to clear my head. As I picked my head up
after washing my eyes, I noticed... Written on my stomach, in deep red
lipstick, by a flowing, distinctly female hand, were two words: ’Thank
Better wash THAT off.
I spent the better part of a week refusing to tell anyone about my exploits
that night -- and dreading Her approaching me and demand an explanation for
my not calling her. I was convinced that it was for real, because the word
was spreading around the dorm that I had had an Exploit. But people
weren’t making fun of me, nobody, not even a little bit; no -- you know how
guys are -- they were congratulating me. No way there was a conspiracy
It was agony.
And, of course, towards the end of the week, the inevitable phone call
came. She figured I had forgotten her number... She hoped I didn’t mind
that she had called, instead of me calling her... (I was a Freshman Male.
She was a Female. AND she had written on me! How cool! Mind? I don’t
So we set up a meeting, the next day, for lunch. I was all a-tingle. God,
what a sap. Of course you have it all figured out by now, but you knew it
was a setup from the start. I had to live it.
So I showed up for the Date... and there at the anointed table was my
roommate Bill. ’Bill?’ I say, thinking -- really! -- ’What a coincidence!’
’Hi, Don.’ He smiled ...and handed me the lipstick. And then he started
to giggle, watching me as realization flooded in. I was pretty proud of
myself, actually; it only took a couple of breaths before I realized the
beauty of it and was able to smile. AND I didn’t hit him.
All he had done, of course, was write on my stomach after I had passed out.
(He had had the lipstick on hand, Just In Case -- never know when you’ll
need bright red lipstick in a freshman dorm.) The rest just kind of
naturally followed after I walked around shirtless, not knowing what was on
my stomach. I, and everyone else in the dorm, just jumped to the same
conclusion. All he had to do was keep a straight face.)
He was a good prankster -- subtle, and very effective! Knew how and when
to end it, too. We had some fun that year.