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“ How to Carve a Dick-o-lantern (salamanderhead) ”

Story by Salamanderhead , written 10 years ago 1201 views83 votes
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Today I got the bright idea to be childish and carve a, what I call "dick-o-lantern".
It’s the same as a traditional jack-o-lantern with a slight touch of retardation.

Tools needed:
1) Pumpkin (Bigger the better!)
2) Sharp knife
3) Marker
4) Large bowl
5) Bandaids

Step 1) Draw a circle area around the top of the pumpkin. This is what you will use as a lid. You will also remove all the insides and guts through this hole. Do not throw away the lid you cut out!

2)Rip out all the guts, hearts, livers, intestines, lungs and kidneys. Throw that shit in the bowl. Yes it is edible but not great.

3)Draw the pattern on the pumpkin that you would like to cut out. Mine being a penis.

4) Take your time cutting. I sliced my finger open pretty good. Make small movements with the knife to ensure you don’t #%!@ it up or kill yourself.

5) Put a candle in the dick-o-lantern, place the lid back on the top, and enjoy getting yelled at by your parents when you place this on the step.

I don’t care about the rating, I just felt like making this into an egg.
O’Doyle rules!


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