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“ How to Carve a Dick-o-lantern (rm) (salamander ”

Story by Salamanderhead , written 10 years ago 4309 views97 votes
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME : Text files and message bases are for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. Do not undertake any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site.We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
[REMAKE DUE TO PHOTOBUCKETS MODERATORS BEING BUTTHURT]
Today I got the bright idea to be childish and carve a, what I call \\"dick-o-lantern\\".
It's the same as a traditional jack-o-lantern with a slight touch of retardation.

Tools needed:
1) Pumpkin (Bigger the better!)
2) Sharp knife
3) Marker
4) Large bowl
5) Bandaids
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Step 1) Draw a circle area around the top of the pumpkin. This is what you will use as a lid. You will also remove all the insides and guts through this hole. Do not throw away the lid you cut out!







2)Rip out all the guts, hearts, livers, intestines, lungs and kidneys. Throw that shit in the bowl. Yes it is edible but not great.



3)Draw the pattern on the pumpkin that you would like to cut out. Mine being a penis.


4) Take your time cutting. I sliced my finger open pretty good. Make small movements with the knife to ensure you don't #%!@ it up or kill yourself.



5) Put a candle in the dick-o-lantern, place the lid back on the top, and enjoy getting yelled at by your parents when you place this on the step.





I don't care about the rating, I just felt like making this into an egg.
O'Doyle rules!
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