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Home All Stories Story

“ I Almost Kicked Death’s Ass...(story) ”

Story by , written 16 years ago 918 views125 votes
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Lately at school the student council people have been acting strange...they have been videotaping us and meeting behind closed doors and now we all know why!

I guess the police department and some other organization teamed up with our school to tackle another isue that all teens struggle with at 8 in the morning:DRUNK DRIVING!

Well they kicked off this anti- drunk driving shindig by having someone dressed as a grim reaper come into many classrooms and take away some kid who tragically \"died\" in a drunk driving accident. During the day they took like 30 people and one of my teachers.(Who I guess has a massive problem with drunk driving during the morning hours.)

Well naturally everyone thought this was pretty darn gay and during class me and my friend were wandering around campus looking for kleenuxes when we spied DEATH leading away some kid named Gene who apperently was on his way to meet his maker. So me and this other kid were on this balcony and we started yelling \"NOOO! NOT GENE! IT ISN\"T HIS TIME YET! BRING HIM BACK YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD! GEENNEEE!! GEEENNEE!!\" and apperently half the campus heard me screaming off a balcony for death to let go of Gene. So one teacher came out and yelled at me for disturbing his class! So we had to go back to English. But my beef with death wasn\’t over yet...

So we were all sitting around at lunch talking about how worthless this was and how we should all go drunk driving to remember our \"dead\" friends when the unthinkable happened! THE GRIM REAPER walked around our tables, leading all of the casualties of this drunk driving epidemic (who all had on white make up, which makes sense, because they are dead.)

So I tried to rally up the troops by screaming,\" AAAUUGGGHHH!! IT\’S DEATH!! COME ON EVERYONE, WE GOTTA TAKE HIM DOWN!! THROW ANYTHING YOU CAN!!\" So I started chucking grapes at death, but unfortunately one teacher had more spirit than me and made me stop.

But that didn\’t stop the mayhem, because death was leading around about 20 students and one idiotic teacher(All of whom had fake tombstones in their hands) around OUR lunch area. So naturally people started yelling at the students to get their attention. I yelled \"COME BACK TO THE LIGHT! YOU WANT TO LIVE! LIIIVVVEEE!!\" and some chick got pissed off at me and told me to shut up. Then more people started yelling and I screamed\" THEY CAN\’T HEAR YOU, THEY ARE DEAD!!\" and everyone started laughing at them.

But they had made their grand appearance from beyond the grave, and they started their long procession back to heaven/hell, leaving a trail of laughter and mockery behind them. I promptly left after lunch, and tommorrow if I go to school I will have to witness a FAKE FUNERAL, which spins this into a whole new demension of gayness that would make any sane God fearing man want to shove an ice pick through his skull... Leaving us to wonder: doesn\’t the police department have something better to do? I don\’t know, they could do something stupid like fight CRIME or HELP people, but apperently they have to waste 6 officers\’ time trying to scare kids when a simple movie would do more help. But who am I to question the system? I am just a boy, who\’s battle with Death is NOT OVER BY A LONG SHOT!
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